Is choosing to be a SAHM a feminist decision?

lilting I wonder if perhaps you're looking at this from a specific perspective but failing to see what I'm saying about how many women come to be SAHP in the context of their careers.

Yes of course there are transferable skills having been a SAHP. But are they transferable at that point in one's career? Given that many (most?) women become parents at an age where they entered their chosen profession a long time before, and as Bluntness and others have said, have long since left the days behind when those transferable skills would give them an edge.

You asked of my profession, I work in construction. I do complicated maths. I had my first child at 30 and am currently on mat leave with my second. If I now took time out to be a SAHM, how on earth would that experience be valued by anyone that I might approach to hire me afterwards - assuming, that is, that I would like to pick my actual career back up again after the break rather than suddenly deciding to start back at the bottom again as a carer or childminder? (No diss to these jobs by the way, they're no better or worse than mine and no more or less difficult or valuable, but I want women to have the option to do these jobs OR be doctors, lawyers, politicians, physicists etc....)

So of my closest friends one is an environmental scientist, one a construction consultant, one a solicitor and one a carer. How would society valuing SAHP translate into any of their industries considering it as worthy as time spent in those industries? Except perhaps the carer, although ironically she's the only one who didn't have an established career before having kids, despite a masters degree.

If they're hiring and managing staff then that's a job.

Not, according to posters on here who would not count the experience if it was done unpaid in order to advance a partner's lucrative career. Not if it was done, unpaid, as part of managing a renovation project on your own home. Not if it was done, unpaid, in order to care for your own disabled child.

In addition there is no third party validation of those skills.

There does not necessarily need to be in a rigorous recruitment process. One in which assesses knowledge and skills as a defining part of the process.

Yes I agree with this, however if they managed for their local playgroup etc then it becomes relevant again.

Yes, absolutely. But that is a skill that they have gained as a volunteer, rather than as a SAHM. I would absolutely be interested in the skills that people can gain through voluntary work.

Op, you're missing my point. I didn't say the skill wasn't relevant. I said it was a skill everyone was assumed to have as the default position. Be it budgeting their own finances, paying their own bills or looking after their own kids. So employers look for what you have over and above.

In addition there is no third party validation of those skills. There is no reference to be had, they don't say to your husband or kids, just how good is she with thr kids or paying bills, can you provide us with a reference. All they have is your word for it. And as said, everyone can do that.

user
You have no idea whether I was a SAHP or WOHP.
You actually have just backed up the point I was trying to make -of course SAHP can make the most of their time-its not all CC -SAHP can give you time to evaluate your life and what you want from it.
Please stop with SAHP as victims .
They are just as capable and able to learn new skills as anyone else.
I have never referenced caring for my own DC or managing my finances in an interview.
Suggesting this as a good idea is doing down SAHP not suggesting they look at what interests them and exploring it further

If someone said they were used to managing a budget because they'd been a SAHP I'd just think they were a bit naive.

Exactly. It sounds like you're clutching at straws, and the natural conclusion is that you don't really have any work skills that you can talk about. As a pp said above, I assume that all candidates have basic life skills!

If they're hiring and managing staff then that's a job.

splendide, not if that partner is employed by someone else. This is a role many wives have taken on in the past and one that many continue to do.

If someone is a SAHP in order to support a high earning partner's career, then they could well be managing a pretty hefty budget which includes hiring and managing staff in order to put on huge events, which promote the partner's business

That's not being a SAHP, that's working for the partner's business.

You don't ask those questions as they are irrelevant

I can see skills, related to the examples I have given, could be extremely relevant to a paid role. You are missing out on finding what a candidates true capabilities are, if you dismiss their role from within the home entirely. These are transferable skills.

It depends on the job but I would definitely be cautious of claiming transferable skills from the domestic sphere.

If someone said they were used to managing a budget because they'd been a SAHP I'd just think they were a bit naive. Certainly if there was no context on a CV. I could imagine an answer in a interview that would work with the right tone.

I don't think anyone is saying being at home doesn't take skill, what's being said is it takes skills that everyone is assumed to have as the default position in the job market .

When you interview someone you assume they manage their household budget, do their garden, clean their house, look after their kids. You don't ask those questions as they are irrelevant. You want to know what qualifications and experience they have other than managing their own lives, like everyone else does.

And being a nanny is looking after someone else's kids. Being responsible to another parent and doing it to their satisfaction. I certainly am not qualified to be a nanny because I was at home with my daughter during maternity leave, just like I'm not a taxi driver because I drive her or my husband someplace, and I'm not a painter decorator because I painted some rooms in my house, nor am I a chef, because I make dinner sometimes, or an accountant because I manage my personal finances.

In the job market life skills are the default position. Employers want to know what experience and qualifations you have over and above being able to manage as an adult.

The thing about skills used as a stay at home parent, the reason they aren't valued is because everyone pretty much does it. Sure on some elements to a lesser extent, , but we still do our housework, look after our kids, clean, manage our homes, do the garden, cook, chauffeur, redecorate, budget, shop, book holidays.

Again context is relevant.

If someone is a SAHP in order to support a high earning partner's career, then they could well be managing a pretty hefty budget which includes hiring and managing staff in order to put on huge events, which promote the partner's business.

If someone is a SAHP in order to effectively advocate and care for a child with additional needs and disabilities they would most likely require a great deal of funding mechanism knowledge, specific legal knowledge, knowledge of managing specific conditions, evaluating care plans and formal professional meeting experience.

See, I don't think the fact that most adults manage household budgets necessarily means it can't be a relevant skill. Not something that would give a SAHP an advantage over the competition, no, but that's not the same thing.

I haven't personally found that managing my household finances is anything like managing a departmental budget when I did that, so I'm unconvinced that the former allows one to be proficient at the latter, but I can envisage certain situations where activities engaged in as a result of SAHPing might assist. The house renovation example might help if you wanted to work in a role in that sector?

How patronising to say women dont grow up expecting to be the breadwinner

Agree, I grew up expecting to be, and have always been financially independent since leaving my fathers home. The only time I claimed benefits was when I left college and signed on the dole for about a month till I got a job. Past the child benefit, which we didn't get for the last several years it was due as we lived abroad, I've never had state support. My daughter is studying law and expects the same thing.

The thing about skills used as a stay at home parent, the reason they aren't valued is because everyone pretty much does it. Sure on some elements to a lesser extent, , but we still do our housework, look after our kids, clean, manage our homes, do the garden, cook, chauffeur, redecorate, budget, shop, book holidays. These things are not exclusive to stay at home parents, and as such hence why not valued by employers. We could all claim those skills

budgeting skills when all adults (hopefully ) do this is ridiculous.

Context is relevant. If a SAHP, due to their availability at home, has singlehandedly project managed a house renovation, for example, I would have thought the budgeting skills required would have some relevance within the workplace.

Quite, I find your post pretty scathing in tone. Why, in reference to feminist ideology, do you only value working paid or unpaid for a formal organisation? Surely knowledge and experience should speaks for itself? And it is an interviewer's role to discern this from a candidate's responses to relevant questions. Otherwise many capable candidates are dismissed unnecessarily. Why would a feminist only count experience relevant in employment if it served patriarchal organisations and allowed them to act as 'gatekeepers' to any kind of employment.

I was dismissive of the terrible advice not SAHP.
I hate the patronising rubbish they are fed regarding returning to work.Caring is a valid and under appreciated occupation but advising those returning to the workplace to reference their budgeting skills when all adults (hopefully ) do this is ridiculous.

Quite's phrasing and attitude were obnoxiously dismissive, but she's correct that being a SAHP doesn't mean you acquire skills as a nurse. Nursing is a profession, you need specialist clinical knowledge and qualifications. HCA though, potentially. Plus roles like carer. And nursing in WW2 was a totally different occupation from now so that doesn't really tell us anything.

None of which is to say that a returning SAHP can't learn these skills, or that their experiences might not stand them in good stead to do so. The opposite, in fact. And there are some roles where the skills more obviously translate. But SAHPing in itself doesn't make you a nurse or someone who can run a departmental budget, if you weren't that previously. There's a step being missed out there.

Nope not derogatory at all of SAHP just your terrible suggestions that managing the household budget /caring for your DC etc is a good skill to reference on an application/at interview.
Please dont do this !
I have employed many SAHP returning to the workplace who have had good advice.
Volunteer in your chosen area of interest
Find out about the company/area you want to work in.
Look at free online courses -there are loads
For example if you want to work with the elderly-its fine to say you became interested when you cared for an elderly relative but then you volunteered for The Carers Trust and did a Dementia Awareness Day .
There should be better advice for SAHP who intend to return to work imho