Ethical porn for teens

With my teenage son we have talked about how viewing porn is linked with erectile dysfunction and addiction. That's quite a good deterrent

The research shows that the use of porn is very damaging for a teenage brain and not something to be encouraged.

Whilst I really do not agree with porn as a teaching tool, if you are set on this over a book, the website Ohmyyes might help - although it’s really for women to help them get in touch with their own sexuality.

@CaraDuneRedux dang....thank you. I saw this just after I posted.

Sex between people can be the most lovely, intimate, thrilling, joyful, satisfying and remarkable thing to physically share and explore safely together. Why would we go down the route of encouraging our children to primarily see sex as a lonely, selfish pursuit? Of course masturbation can be a healthy way to learn how your body works, but shouldn't sex education have as its main goal the ethical pleasures of sex with another person you fancy?

One of the downfalls of the pandemic is teenagers miss out on dating and all the normal lessons they'd learn that involves physical sexual experiences with another human.

ZOMBIE THREAD FROM 3 YEARS AGO..

I am so thankful that someone has raised this. I have a 14 year old boy who ivd caught using porn. I spoke to him about porn sites and how they portray women and give a false identity to what actually what sex is about. . Porn can Bd educational but it has to be tbs right sort

Gail Dines (anti-porn feminist) does some educational programmes for teenagers.
She's British but based in the US. She was talking a while ago if getting an info / education pack for parents but I don't know where that's up to.

Try this

Agree with last poster - try to explain that lots of porn out there is basically rape & therefore really not ok when you think about it!

I'm sure there's a thread re: ethical porn on the sex topic OP.

You're right, they are going to look at it anyway. So horrendous that you're even having to think about this. But I get where you're coming from. Good luck!!!

Omgyes is a site about how women achieve orgasm. Might be helpful?!

There's an American website called Scarleteen which will cover some or all of what you are asking. I can't endorse it from experience so you will have to check it out and see what you think. I just know my American friend - who is very open talking to her sons about mutual sexual pleasure and consent - is often posting links from it. Just put Scarleteen in your search engine and you'll find it.

If you are willing to talk to your son about porn it's not a forgone conclusion that he will watch it. Help him understand about the abuse and degradation that takes place in producing the films his peers might watch.

Here - this book Sex and Lovers www.sexandlovers.uk

I had a look before handing it over and decided it was suitable for my 16 year old (but told him he had to keep it away from the 13 year old).

I need to read the thread properly now and see if anyone else has mentioned it!

Abbey Winters if it's still going (mainly girl on girl).

All female crew, a lot of the 'actors' are members of the public who approach them, usually shot at a familiar location and actors wear their own clothes to make them feel comfortable, actors are given the general starting plot outline and then they just go with the flow and do what they feel natural and comfortable with - no taking orders from a director, no photoshopping out cellulite or spots, etc.

It's as ethical as porn can get.

No I don’t mean naked under 18’s (never hear of that & don’t like the sound of it). It’s a sex ed book - written about relationships and illustrated by photos of teens in relationships. It is heavy on teaching that sex is about relationships. I like it because it had big sections written in red about consent and says all the things that need to be said without preaching. I have a feeling that it is aimed at boys but can’t remember.

Cannot find it’s name or any of the guardianista type articles there are about it. My son has a copy so will see if I can dig it out.

To be clear - it is not porn. But it is a pretty frank and sensible book that show teens that sex can be loving (& is probably better when it is) & that there are responsibilities with sexual relationships as well.

^ if you sign up you watch videos of women discussing and showing how they like to masturbate. Lots of detailed descriptions of ways to stimulate the clitoris. Then you have a computer simulator to, um, touch and try to bring to orgasm in the way they like.

It's not porn but it's how women like to be touched, an educational guide. It's extremely honest! More for women to explore and then talk to men about but might be educational.... not sure any child wants their parent to point them in that direction though!

To be fair, leaving a book similar to the joy of sex on a book shelf might be the best option!

www.omgyes.com

Agree with mamaryllis. There's a reason that sick shit is out there. Because males like to watch it. I hardly think they're going to stick to the 'nice' stuff if they know there's other more titillating stuff out there esp if their friends are watching it. Sorry op.

Errrr to be honest, if you realise that your teen isn’t going to stop looking at prom because ‘mummy doesn’t like it’, you have to be able to grasp that they aren’t likely to check out ‘mummy’s approved porn sites’. Purely on principle.
And I’m pretty sure that adults linking children to porn sites, however ‘ethical’ they believe the porn to be, puts you on pretty dodgy ground. Particularly when their mate’s parent takes exception to you providing porn to minors (because your dd shared it ‘look what my mum gave me’ and he used it as a defence when he got caught ‘but Kev’s mam gave it to him and said it was ok’ and reports you. Particularly the ‘real teen sex’ stuff.
No I won’t be signposting 16yo ds to porn of any description. No I did not signpost 18yo dd to porn of any description. And no I won’t be doing it for 14yo dd either.
Chatting about consent is a completely different kettle of fish to becoming a porn distributor to the local secondary school. Ffs.

There's no such thing as ethical porn. All porn is based on the exploitation of women and their bodies - all of it. Erotica is ok - but still I would point him to Gail Dines on youtube etc to educate him about debasement of women. If he goes down the porn route, his relationships will be a disaster- get him off the net and talk to him about coercion v consent. And love and intimacy

Teenagers don't need porn, but I agree that they're going to be exposed to it whether you (or they) like it or not.

I don't think the answer is to give them more porn or point them in the direction of the kind of porn you're ok with though.

I talk to my teen DCs about porn, and about how it differs from reality, and about consent, violence against women, trafficking, etc.

They will obviously see porn elsewhere, but I believe the most important thing is to teach them how to 'read' it. You don't need to watch it together to do that as there are plenty of common themes you can talk about on a general level.