The Thread of RAGE

Thanks for the welcome Freshlylaidterf (love your moniker, made me laugh)

Yep, defensive alrighty.

Thankfully, we have mumsnet as a screaming chamber.

Note sure how to vote now though...christ, what a mess

imnolaidee
Hello and welcome.
Thats terrible. What an idiot. Obviously on the defensive though.

Hello,

I've been a lurker on mumsnet for ages, but I am in need of rage support. So I've come to a place where I feel I can speak.

I sent a resignation to my local Labour party rep yesterday. I outlined my reasons why - the self-ID shit. I gave examples, Lily M, Angela Rayner, being called TERFs for daring to challenge things.

He basically told me I had no evidence to defend the action and paranoid (he didn't use that word, but that's what was meant).

I'm in the middle of feeling 'whatever' vs. wanting to kick his fucking head in.

Please hold my soft girlie hand before I cry.

Well done shadows

So now women are transphobic for not lifting up the fucking toilet seat?!!!!!!!!!

I have this debate/argument/screaming match on a regular basis at home

Seat down

End of...

I'd have ripped that poster down and shived it somewhere

Ive done it! All the supportive replies yesterday and another thread this morning pushed me into action and I have just emailed my MP. Its amazing how such a small step can make such a difference to how I feel but it has; I feel like Im maybe not so powerless after all!

I love mumsnet, that feeling of belonging and support, women coming together and rallying to a cause. Thank you to everyone for posting and commenting on these invaluable threads 💐

I am slowly coming to realise that my Canadian friend is as gender critical as one is allowed to be in Canada. She re-tweeted something about terfs and I very cautiously said "you might find your friends class me as one because I think there's circumstances where biology matters." She replied that this was probably because I was a grown up who was capable of framing a nuanced argument.

It's only as I've come to realise how far down the rabbit hole Canada has gone that this was probably tantamount to her screaming from the rooftops "I see it too. It's crazy. There's no such thing as lady peen!"

told a potential client that trans women wanting to visit must have had gender reassignment surgery.

This is loaded as well. They didn't say as she is implying, "sucks to be you, sorry about your dick, come back when you've had it removed". They said that they accepted post op TIMs into this nude spa, but not penis bearing ones. For the comfort and dignity of the women who the spa was intended for.

Yes it's basically, "I forgot to put men first briefly, then I thought they would enjoy a nice spa and regained my senses. Like me, all women need to work on their feelings. Men don't"

Female socialization and how it's partially responsible for the situation we currently find ourselves in in 3 short paragraphs.

"I’m not alone in identifying the male member as the basic problem. Last June, the Toronto women’s spa Body Blitz told a potential client that trans women wanting to visit must have had gender reassignment surgery. I immediately found this unfair – while also understanding that the sight of a penis in a space reserved for women could be unexpected, even unappealing.

Bothered by the gap between my ideals and my discomfort, I considered the warmth and simple humanity of many trans women I’ve met. I thought not just about their traumas, but also how much they might enjoy the spa’s lovely water circuit, let alone a chance to feel recognized.

I realized I had to get over it: A penis is no big deal. Beyond that, demanding that anyone have surgery to be considered a real woman runs counter to every feminist ideal of informed, empowered choice. "

I have no intention of attempting to brainwash myself into thinking that a penis is "no big deal". It is a big deal, in fact whether or not you have one has a massive impact on how your life will play out, and women who're alarmed by the sight on one in what they thought was a women only space should not be expected to "get over" that reaction. There are plenty of other places where someone with a penis can enjoy the comfort of being in water.

ShadowsInTheDarkness

Brought this rage inducing Canadian article to the thread of rage. Happy International Non Men's Day! Enjoy :) https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-this-international-womens-day-feminists-should-finally-accept/?utmsource=Shared+Article+Sent+to+User&utmmmedium=E-mail:+Newsletters+/+E-Blasts+/+etc.&utmcampaign=Shared+Web+Article+Links

ShadowsInTheDarkness

I share your fear. Women who use mental health services know how dangerous mixed wards are. Hundreds of women commit suicide as a result of domestic violence every year, and I don't see any outcry about the death toll.

ShadowsInTheDarkness

I’m trying to take some consolation from the fact that the public overwhelmingly seem on our side (the ones that are exposed to this nonsense anyway)

The fight is trying to get it out there to enough people before they can push anything through.

Shadows

Stick around and talk. It helps with the feelings of dread. I promise. You will find support and sisterhood here.

Shadows

Your post is as powerful an argument for protecting women's spaces as anything I have ever read. Keep posting.

We are all drawing together here Shadows. I feel cut off a bit a bit as I am long way from London, Manchester etc. Women are starting to make their voices heard about this. I feel the fear to, like a cold brick in the chest, it will change to anger for you I expect in time but you have reason for the fear to be there. x

Shadows ** For you and your daughter.

I've not had your experiences but I absolutely understand the fear.

I have the fear and the radge and I really struggled with it for a long time until I found the FWR boards on MN and realised I wasn't the only one that felt like this.

It made me realise too that the way to feel better is to take action - write to your MP, arrange a meeting, speak out to others if you feel you can.

Even just small things like donating to Fair Play For Women helped me feel like I had some control and the fear subsided ( a bit!).

shadows

I have been lurking on the trans threads for months. I agree with you all but I dont seem to be able to do rage or even anger. I mostly feel fear. Im a rape surviver, I have used women's refuges twice in the past, have experienced DV and have a daughter with SEN who is going to be incredibly vulnerable as she hits her teens due to learning difficulties. I have depended on safe spaces and sex segregation to overcome those experiences. I am filled with fear at the thought that they are being taken away. I am filled with fear for what the future holds, for what I know men to be capable of, for how the world will be when my little girl is older. I feel powerless. I feel afraid. And I say this from a rural corner of the UK where politics is all about farming and no one has even heard of or taken note of the trans movement and self ID.

I dont know what Im hoping to achieve with this post but it feels nice to be able to admit those feelings of fear.

Excellent raging Barracker. I am veering between despair, disappointment and disbelief most days now. The morons who keep saying that it is trans-hate really really piss me off. Spineless organisations like the Guide HQ piss me off - they should be railing against this stuff. The fact the most people with jobs are unable to speak freely about their worries pisses me off. I was saying to my partner later that I am quite please I am older as I can get more forthright once work is not so important - I have a while to go yet but my inner feminist is well and truly 'woke' thanks to Mumsnet and the brilliant posters here who patiently ex[plain and explain again.

Who wrote the poster? I think it was a woman, fed up with how men were using the loos. Men and transwomen aren't going to refer to themselves as the penis's!

That poster says, remember to lift the seat so the penis's don't have to do it. Your job is to ensure you don't inconvenience the penis. You are subservient to the penis. You must remember you are subservient to the penis. We shouldn't spend three seconds reflecting on how women are abused daily worldwide on the basis of their sex. We shouldn't think about transmen who still sit for a piss.

Worship the almighty penis.

They couldn't be any more blantant if they tried.

I love how the guy interviewing venice allen's for misgendering calls Eddie Izzard a transwoman and then calls him Mr Izzard!

On tape.