I am a gay man and I find it very frustrating how TRA's have appropriated the gay rights movement as they want some very different things.
We are very lucky to live in a part of the world that pretty much has equal rights for LGBT people. I don't think about it much, but I certainly don't feel very discriminated against as I go about my everyday life. Trans people have also been granted a similar level of equality and that should be celebrated.
I am concerned about self-identification but mostly it is how trans issues are presented to children that bothers me most. I was pretty gender non-conforming as a child. I didn't like football or team sports and preferred art and drama. I'd also rather have friends that were girls. I never asked to dress like a girl, be called a female name or stated that I was one, but there was no narrative available that presented this as an option. Sure, I had struggles as I came out as a teenager but I got through them and live very happily as a gay man. I know many tomboys of the 70s and 80s here mention how glad they weren't born in the last ten years and pushed towards the trans narrative and I feel quite the same!
I could NEVER have decided before puberty if I was gay or not, and no child should have to. They should be supported however they express themselves but I think adults should be encouraging children to embrace the personality and body they were born with before any plans for a "gender change" are considered. If a boy wishes to wear a dress then that is fine, children should understand that boys can wear dresses if they like. That's all they need to know. Over explaining is getting dangerously close to over-sexualising younger children and (paradoxically) enforcing the gender norms that are supposedly being broken down.
And that's before the worry of pumping them full of drugs that will irreversibly change their bodies for life.
I perhaps come at the self-id issue from a slightly different perspective than most of the posters here. Personally, I don't really care who I go to the bathroom with, or change in front of. I don't feel particularly threatened by transmen. However, I empathize with women who would feel uncomfortable and totally champion the need for women-only spaces that are unequivocally safe however you, as women, want them to be.
I also know some trans friends and I see the struggles they go through. I think the GRA should be changed to be a little easier for (as they are mostly referred to here as) genuine transsexuals. Instead of two years living as the desired gender, perhaps one is enough? I think getting rid of all gatekeeping is ludicrous as I think it denies some transpeople the support they need to help work out if this is the right path for them. I think it also makes a mockery of the real struggles and issues those who do transition go through. In some ways making it too easy makes it more difficult to prove that way they experienced was real.
I wish the trans agenda was focused on the positivity of being a transwoman. What makes you different doesn't have to make you better or worse than someone born a woman. There will be different needs sometimes and similar needs at others. A time to come together and times when it's best apart.
FWIW I think one side of the argument is being far more reasonable and understanding than the other in this "discussion"