Have I done the right thing? Outed myself as a Terf

We will always feel that we have disappointed people when we speak for ourselves. Society expects women to advocate for others, not themselves. It is the 34d rule of misogyny: Women speaking for themselves are exclusionary and selfish.
Selfish is a sharp stinging trigger word from almost every woman's child hood.

I also really think most people either aren't aware of it or haven't fully been informed/thought through the issues.

I think it's good to have a proper debate about this whatever your feelings. I wouldn't use TERF to describe myself. TERF is a hate term strongly associated with inciting and excusing violence against (usually) women. It is used as a slur against people who speak up for biological women's rights and safety. Speaking up about that shouldn't invite violence.

I expressed antagonism to the gender consultation on Facebook recently but I don't have many friends and have tight privacy settings. I got more apathy than anything else. I don't really do twitter as it seems an egocentric medium all that broadcasting to the world stuff. I'm fairly thick skinned but don't go looking for aggro from people known to be nasty on social media

Hi smiths, did you point out the threatening response to the polite person? Or forward it if it wasn't public. It's the perfect illustration of what we're up against, isn't it?

Sorry that you were subjected to threats of violence. Do you know the person?

Don't worry, Bluntness, if I expressed opinions for applause I'd be posting "fuck all TERFs" instead

😂

Then I come back on here and get "radicalised" all over again

There's your problem. Try to make some balanced decisions and stop feeding off the shite anonymous strangers are winding you up with on here.

Do you really need their approval. Do it then come right on and tell them about it for the applause?

Seriously grow up. They wouldn't know you if they walked past you on the street and most of them wouldn't defend you either in real life.

I tentatively come out on my own wall....but I often post on other fb pages (such as WEP recent post ) and get into debates, I like most radfem gc pages and always love a Magdalen Berns video.....so I’m sure my fb friends know my stance.

My DM tells me to stop ‘lecturing’ her when I try to explain the issue - she gives no shits, so I feel for you OP.

I outed myself some time ago and readily share articles and retweets, so far not lost any FB friends. I also challenge people who come out with anti science crap and had a go at Lush. My bad

Thé issue was recently raised on a private FB group I'm in - a very supportive community of 'older' women. I was delighted to see how many of us were gender critical and aware of the issues. Two or three of us admitted to being MN regulars! Only one woman very gently attempted to put the TRA point of view. It was most encouraging.

My gay friend has recently outed himself as a Trans Exclusionary Radical Faggot

I like him already

I haven't put anything on FB. To be honest, no one on my Facebook has shared/discussed anything to do with self ID or any trans or terf related discussions, I feel like no one knows about it at all - I think MSM has a lot to answer for there.

I sent the Scottish gender reform link to a few friends on FB messenger the other day, asking them to share their views before the deadline etc and out of 8 or so women only one replied
I felt like I'd made a massive social faux pas by bringing politics into the conversation and no one has mentioned it at all. It crossed my mind that they may not have a full grasp of all the facts/implications and think that I'm just a bigot who hates trans people

My gay friend has recently outed himself as a Trans Exclusionary Radical Faggot

I wouldn't start up a Facebook conversation being openly gender-critical (although the slightly frenetic posts from one friend always saying something like 'My son Sam is the best son in the world!' make me cringe a bit).

What I mean is that we get a lot of guff about #NoDebate and friends 'liking' images of delightfully feminine small children / muscly bearded teenagers, saying 'Can you believe that they would make me use the Men's/Women's Restroom?', as if the debate (sorry the #NoDebate) entirely centres around these poster kids.

Ignoring these posts feels hypocritical.

Am I being an utter fool for caring about all this? Are we all?

No. It's important for those that feel confident to speak out to speak out.

I'm Facebook friends with quite a few people from the Labour Party and also a member of some political groups on there.

This really kicked off among them around the AWS issue, up until then it hadn't really been discussed. Most of the more high-profile (i.e. hold elected CLP positions) were very anti the crowdfunder and started posting links to petitions calling for the expulsion of the women connected with it. I started out posting very measured comments saying that they were misrepresenting the crowdfunder - in particular that it was about anything more than self-identifying women.

Anyway at first I'd get the odd 'like' but virtually no-one else commented. I'd sometimes get PMs from women saying thanks for saying something. As the debate broadened into the GRA in general I noticed more and more women - many of whom I hadn't seen comment on anything - willing to say 'actually I am not fine with all of this. I don't hate trans people but I just want there to be a discussion'.

In addition there is also a noticeable reduction in interaction from people who were happy to like 'transwomen are women' etc just a few weeks ago. In essence when someone posts a status about the 'horrible TERFs' they are getting far few people liking these or supporting them in the comments.

I'd say that even those who wouldn't describe themselves as even feminists are deeply uncomfortable with the way this is being used to attack women who speak out. Particularly when they know the women concerned.

So let's all speak out when we can.

There's room for everyone's identity, there's no need for anyone to be erased. The fact that the group being erased are prevented from speaking out should be a concern for everyone. That's not how human rights work.

I've been wondering similar. I am becoming more and more public as gender critical. I think the more of us that come out, the more we create a climate where the issues are raised and it is acceptable to discuss the impact on women.

So, I am glad you are out and thank-you for doing this. I like Yippee's point about raising questions. That's a big part of what we're doing. Raising the tone of the debate and posing the questions.

I'm reluctant to post anything GC on Facebook because my Facebook friends include several families, quite dear to us, with 'trans sons' (or in other words, trans-identifying daughters). At least one of those has been to hell and back, and I don't piss on people when they're down.

But.

I'm starting to feel like a total hypocrite by not speaking out.

The only thing wrong with your response to the TIM was the 'nearly'.

Go on, post it.