What really pissed me off about TRAs claiming that certain language , symbols etc (like the pussy hat) are 'exclusionary' is that its an intellectually flawed statement. It is not an 'exclusionary' act to mention or discuss something in the presence of a person who does not possess that thing. If a group of women have a conversation about breastfeeding, that does not by definition 'exclude' a transman who may prefer to say that he is 'chestfeeding'. It's just using accurate language to describe what is happening.
This applies to all sorts of situations in which human experiences are inevitably different. If able bodied people discuss going for a walk in the presence of a wheelchair user, it is not 'exclusionary'. If wealthy people discuss a recent holiday in the presence of a less well off friend, that is not 'exclusionary'. On occasion, individuals may feel left out, annoyed or whatever, but that is part of the broad spectrum of human experience, and that does not mean that others are trying to diminish or deny you.