19 year old DD tells me ALL boys want to throttle.

Why are you wasting your time sniping at us MyBrilliantMistake?
You do the same dance on every thread you are on.
You are wasting your time.

The Guardian is fucked. They've somehow managed to convince feminists that they are the voice of a men's sexual rights movement while convincing mras that they're the voice of feminism. Lefties think they're red tories while tories think they're lefties. They're like anti-pr geniuses.

I think it's worth strategizing about how to deal with the knee-jerky defensive "but it's my choice and I like it!" arguments, because they come up a lot and tend to derail discussions.

The 'lie' is so damn convincing, it's making people truly believe their own sex lives are atypical, and all the seemingly nice guides on how to improve your lovemaking are actually just reinforcing the notion that your love life needs improvement (ergo, it's not up to scratch).

See the thread about anal bleaching. The op got very defensive and said that everyone else were prudes who only have sex with with lights out and their cardigans on.
It worries me that it is all becoming so normalised. That women having pubic hair is ‘dirty’. See any discussion about it on here. Women will tell you it isn’t from porn, that they like it, that it’s clean.

I agree that in the early 90s it was mainly about pleasuring the woman. Men would be proud of the number orgasams you had and would be disappointed if you didn’t have one.

I remember watching a documentary about 20 years ago about a women who travelled to America to get into porn films. She thought she knew what she was getting into.
There was a scene when she had an ‘interview’ with the director. He asked her name and then bent her over his desk. When he finished he walked out. She was so stunned that she didn’t know what to do. In the end the documentary crew decided to get her out as she had neither the mental or physical capacity to do so. She went there willingly but it very soon ended.

Women’s Hour covered this a few years ago.

(Yawns)

If it always goes the same way, you're wasting your time already. Why are you wasting effort on a known outcome?

It does fit their tone rather nicely, no?

Ooh, I like Guardiansplaining

Because some other women will be thinking the same and not wanting to say it, whereas I'm an uppity radfem so I will.

If you want to help resolve this issue you need to drop the oh poor me my identity as a man is being attacked stuff. I've seen this play out many times before and it always goes the same way.

To clarify male depression; young boys are less exposed to / encouraged to express feelings and emotions. Research has linked this to in some cases either depression or violence, as sometimes the depression/ inability to express and seek help with emotional problem solving can be expressed as extreme anger. And this can then be directed at women, and other men. Though other men are more likely to be able to physically fight back.

That word, mansplaining, does not mean what you think it means.
Here is the article that gave rise to the term so you may better understand how you are embarrassing yourself here.
articles.latimes.com/2008/apr/13/opinion/op-solnit13

Not interested in talking to you until you drop the oh poor me for I am but a man and can't help mansplaining attitude, mate.

Why would you feel it necessary to tell me?
I'm not sure I'd go out of my way to tell all the people I don't respond to that I'm not going to respond to them.

Guardiansplaining is perfect.

Guardiansplaining

Excellent brilliant! I agree with the over masculinity of boys, Dh was keen on encouraging 'strength and bravery' from a very early age - he based it in his own playground experiences 35 years ago; that you had to be strong to survive . I did point out things were very different now. A friend felt it's was 'natural' and part of evolution for dads to be like this with their sons - I wasn't sure. I then got deeper into mn and many pennies dropped.

For me, how we treat young boys affects many things; the trans stuff, male depression etc but especially how those adult men deal with strong emotions (eg violence) and how they treat women.

It all starts VERY early in my experience, and isn't just the parents, it's the whole male gender stereotype.

At some point, I have to stop apologising for being a man.

Not interested in talking to you until you drop the oh poor me for I am but a man and can't help mansplaining attitude, mate.

I'm not au fait with the movement / spirit you're trying to capture on a name. Can you explain (to an idiot) in a few sentences?

I read that article in the Guardian and had mixed feelings on it.
I'd be accused of mansplaining (a word I've only just leaned) if I said too much, but honestly, I know I'll regret saying this, but convincing other women will only get you so far. The only way big things will change is once men start being convinced because we are the issue.

It doesn't matter how right you are, how wrong we are, you've got to get more men on board, and sometimes 'mansplaining' is just man's way of downloading this thoughts for others to try and decipher, because he can't always decipher why he thinks as he does.

I don't know why I find the female form attractive - but I do.
I don't know why I might sometimes like a lady in a pair of stocking - but I do.
I don't know why having a fantastic intelligent conversation with a likeminded, or opposite minded woman is appealing to me, but it is.

I'm a massive believer that nurture outweighs nature, but still, I was born a man, and sometimes, I just can't change 'me'.
At some point, I have to stop apologising for being a man.

Or "women, go fuck yourselves", which is already the tone on some articles.

The Male Guardian.

Because that’s about the size of it.

Guarding Men's Sexual Entitlement Rights is what they're doing, but it doesn't exactly roll off the tongue...

I have massively oversimplified the process above, but ultimately you've gone down a rabbit hole (just like porn addicts do) and unless you can back up and go down a healthier rabbit hole, you're in.

It CAN be done. But you'll have to work at it.

You're not the only person in the world to have taboo thoughts btw, so don't think you're a freak or anything. You just happened to over indulge in them, and made them synonymous with your pleasure.

See it as a new adventure - to get kinky with something else next ;-) Something just as intense, but less harmful. There's some pretty intimate things two people can do - they world's your oyster!

Hipsterfun Certainly!!!
I have been trying to come up with a more accurate name similar to Brocailist or Bromentum - 'Everyone's male Guardian' but can;t get anything snappy.

Can anyone else help?

Julie could but she is one voice and it is very difficult to get this view into the mainstream - particularly as we have lost the Guardian because of trans opposition to Julie.

If the Guardian was a family pet, we’d have it put out of its misery.

It's sad, because I generally can't get sexually excited unless I imagine being hurt or abused now. When my boyfriend has sex with me, I imagine I'm drugged and can't do anything or that he's related to me. It's fucked up, but I don't know how to stop it now. ((He knows about all this, but he's not into it)). Can you rewire that type of association?

Yes I think you can rewire that thinking.
Imagine the situation where once upon a time you derived a small amount of pleasure from a small taboo thought...
It felt good, and so you explored the taboo thought a little more...
Slowly the taboo gets deeper and your pleasure seems to keep increasing... to the point where it feels like the only way to get such intense pleasure is to indulge in such intense taboo thoughts.

With me so far?

Now imagine you could rewind, and discover a different 'little thought' that pleased you... perhaps something as simple as very sensual kissing, or massage etc...
You could, in time, spiral deeper and deeper into those thoughts and acts in a way that gave you more and more sexual pleasure right?

As things stand right now, you're getting your best kicks (or only kicks) from the very taboo thoughts, and possibly crave the taboo thoughts that give you fantastic feelings. But really, it's the fantastic feelings you crave right?
Putting aside the chemical dependency on drugs, it's similar to a drug addict who might be hooked on heroin. What he's actually addicted to is the feeling that heroin is giving him, but just assumes heroin in the only route to it. You're in that same situation. You've locked into the assumption that taboo / incest thoughts are the only route to intense sexual pleasure.

Rewind and try to discover just something that might give you only a little pleasure - then start 'spiralling' into that instead... eventually, you might be deriving incredible pleasure from the most sensual and intimate massages (or whatever floats your boat!). Only it'll be a hell of a lot healthier for your mind and soul than incest etc.

I think for most people there's one or two things that really gets them off... but that intensity evolved (just like yours did). You just have to back up and start evolving something a little healthier!

Great analysis TheBrilliantMistake! It is a public health/child abuse scandal of our age.