The word 'Ladies'

So it's fine not to like it, but please just put up and shut up if anyone refers to you using a term you don't like?

Exactly.

It'd be different if it was an insult or rude name, but just because you don't like the word doesn't give you the right to correct someone else using it.

It's about accepting that not everyone uses the same phraseology across upbringings and geographies & having a little tolerance.

a hundred times better that 'girls' though

Given the vast array of different responses on here I’m no closer to knowing whether it’s wrong to use the word lady or not

It depends on the context for me.

"Hi ladies, I have a problem" as an opener to a forum post doesn't bother me as I can equally imagine someone starting a thread on a forum as "Gents, I have a problem"

I prefer it to "girls"

But then "girls night out" or "boys night out" are equally ok.

I don't like Ladies tennis when they use men's tennis. In that case it should be women's tennis.

I guess I'm making it complicated but as I say, it depends on the context.

It's absolutely your right to not like & use it, but the minute you start trying to dictate to other people you start to come across a "certain way" and eyerolling will ensue....

So it's fine not to like it, but please just put up and shut up if anyone refers to you using a term you don't like?

“did you mean to sound quite that patronising or did you mispeak?”

Which century was this in? It's a Jane Austen quote isn't it?

I think if "Ladies" or "Girls" or "Boys" etc annoys you that's fine.

But don't make a thing of it because, for 90% of people, it isn't an issue.

It's absolutely your right to not like & use it, but the minute you start trying to dictate to other people you start to come across a "certain way" and eyerolling will ensue....

I get that some people find it patronising but one thing I like about the word is that it does not contain the word for 'man'
E.g. Wo-man / fe-male which linguistically puts us as sub-species.

Far be it for me to say which words any individual aesthetically prefers or abhors, but I can empathise with not wanting to be patronised/belittled.

Unfortunately the precise words commonly used in a patronising/belittling if that becomes the focus actually deflects from those doing it. Furthermore if one term falls out of use another will rush in to takes its place kind of like plugging a hole in a damn.

I don’t have the precise experience of being called lady, but as a man other men might be given to calling me “mate” and then going on to be very patronising. I get a lot of mileage out of drawing attention to tone and body language, make eye contact and with a slight frown ask: “did you mean to sound quite that patronising or did you mispeak?”

It’s harder to do online because of course you have only words to go on, but with a bit of practise it can sort of work there too.

To whom though? How to you propose we indicate the person to whom the 'thank you' is to be addressed, shall we point (rude) or we just hope the child guesses right?

Surely the person being thanked and the small child will know to whom the 'thanks' are being expressed?

It's a word we need in various situations. The thing to do is stop people using it patronisingly. It's one of our words, we shouldn't be put off by some sexist men.

I use 'lady' and 'gentleman' when referring to someone I don't know. 'Be careful of that gentleman's toes'.

I use ' Hi ladies' when I join a group.

I only ever hear it from sleazy men, so possibly I unconsciously associate it with them. It makes my spine crawl.

I like it.

I hate the word "ladies", by the way. It sounds so massively outdated in the twenty-first century. When I hear it, I associate it with those men who haven't quite caught up with the fact that women are no longer second-class citizens who need to be treated as something slightly strange and breakable.

How is it respectful? It just sounds sleazy and patronising.

I can see it being used in a derogatory way, but you can make almost anything derogatory if you really want to; it's all in the delivery.

I most use and hear "ladies" in my sporting hobby. Every single captain of every single women's team I've ever known will address the team as "ladies". We refer to ourselves as ladies. I guess it's historic. Noone I know has ever expressed offence.

A colleague at work once addressed me as "girly"....

Noone in the office will ever forget that day.

or I'll say "say thank you to the lady". Should I be saying Woman? Doesn't "say thank you to the woman" sound a bit off?

I don't know. Do you say, "Say thank you to the man" or "Say thank you to the gentleman"? Because there's your answer - if you are happy to use the former, why do you think that "Say thank you to the woman" sounds off?

I was always taught that it was impolite (read 'vulgar') and that women was the correct term

I dont find it offensive- I can't think of a polite alternative -"hey up wimmin"
Overall I don't like the policing of language and people feigning indignantion at a word. Slippery slope to go down.
its almost on the flip side of transactivism, as if any reference to being female is offensive.

I love it. I find it really respectful.

I personally use the words ‘lady’ and ‘ladies’ when I want to be more polite and respectful towards certain peopl - and yes, I happen to be a lady too. Otherwise, I just say ‘woman’ or ‘women,’ neither of which sound nearly as pleasant to my ears.

I also love it when I’m referred to as ‘madam’ in shops, but I also don’t mind ‘love,’ ‘darling,’ or ‘sweetheart.’

I think the situation involving certain words in this country has become crazy, and that so many people seem to be offended by everyday words, I find so hard to get my head around.

Argh psychic powers

@Caucho unfortunately I've seen so many times online and in real life women derided for stating they don't like being referred to as ladies/lady.

It's never enough to simply say I don't like it, you have to explain why. At which point you get dismissed as a feminist, being silly or told that you should have more important things to worry about.

It's very rare I've heard someone say "actually I see where you're coming from" usually the response is "well I don't mean it like that." There is often the added extra that the woman objecting should have used her physic powers to know it wasn't meant that way.

It is the Trudeau type who is the modern patroniser is where I think I'm going with this..policing words for example.

Sorry my post was not saying guys has replaced the sleazy style "ladies" you mention womaninatightspot. That sounds dire you are right.

Whoami. This exactly. Some (many?) are brought up to think lady is the correct or polite term. Not everybody who uses the word is a misogynistic bastard.

That’s what I meant. If you don’t like at least tell people in the first place. I definitely missed the memo that it was a rude term but since being on here have learned not to use it!