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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Can you all just lay off trans people

742 replies

cjferg · 10/02/2018 17:11

There is a difference between sex and gender. Some people's align, other people's don't. Some people are biologically female, and their gender doesn't match that and vies versa. Some people don't have a gender. Why do you care so much?

One of my best friends in school was biologically a female. When he 'came out' to me as trans and explained how he had never felt comfortable in his body all I thought (and anyone who knew him) was that I wasn't surprised and that it made a lot of sense and we all got on with our lives. This was about age 17 and he said he had known this since he was a kid (not saying that any kid who says they want to should be able to willy nilly block their hormones, etc, btw)
It wasn't just about 'presenting as a male'. He was actually a male in a female body.
Yes, when he started presenting as male he felt a lot better. I remember he didn't want to go to our prom because of all the dressing up, etc. until we suggested he wear a tux, and it was amazing to see him so comfortable.
But still he hated having tits and having to wear a binder (can be done safely if you get a proper binder and don't just use bandages or w/e so don't even start)
It wasn't enough to just stuff the front of the trousers.
I repeat, he was a man trapped in a woman's body. Not just a cross dressing woman, not just in an experimental phase.

I have another friend who is biologically a female but they don't have a gender. They are known as 'they' not 'he'or 'she' and knowing them you would in no way think that they are either male or female, again not just about looking a certain way.

I also see a lot of people on here ranting about trans people and they literally only care about transwomen. Genuinely, what has happend to you that you feel so threatened at the thought of someone with a penis being the same gender as you?

Stop ranting about how men are going to use it as an excuse to perv on your kid in a changing room. I'd bet quite a lot that more women will perv on your kid in a changing room than men pretending to be trans will.

Gender is evolving all the time there are no definitive rules to being a man or a woman.

For every thing that you think being a woman is, there will be a woman who disagrees with you.
You say that being a woman means having a uterus - does that make people who've had theirs removed for medical reasons not women?

If being a woman means the ability to have babies then does that mean infertile women aren't women?

If you think being a man is the ability to grow facial hair does that mean that men who can't aren't men?

I read about a woman who had poly cystic ovaries and had a luxurious, thick beard and moustache as a result. Does that mean she is a man or less of a woman? Or should she have continued to try and shave and wax it off and be ashamed of it rather than accept herself the way she was and rock the beard?

Seriously, we've come a long way from being a woman meaning you're your husband's property and having to squirt out babies and clean your whole life. Why are you so determined to go backwards?

Stop using the teeny possibility of a man pretending to be trans to invade women's spaces as a vehicle for your hatred and open your mind enough to at least try and understand the issue, because it might be your kid. It might be your dad. It might be your bff 4eva. If that were the case would you ostracise them from your life and declare them a fraud, or have a little empathy and try and support them through something potentially life changing.

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Juzza12 · 10/02/2018 22:12

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larrygrylls · 10/02/2018 22:12

Olenna,

I do not know the answer as to what extent gender is innate or socialised. But nor do the people on this thread who repeat the mantra 'gender is a social construct'.

It is worth investigating, as you rightly said. I will be interested in the 'answer', if they find it in my lifetime. I am not sure there is a lot of funding to research it (apparently the large cohort genetic study is still awaiting further funding) as, whatever the outcome, someone is going to get offended. If there is a genetic cause found, 'trans' becomes 'treatable' with all the moral baggage that brings. If not, the trans community will be found to be the emperor's new clothes, again hugely offensive to a section of society.

Pink and blue is clearly a silly example (my boys were made to wear many a pink item when it was cheaper and my oldest is now rather partial to it). As is a particular sport. I totally agree that this is just socialisation. Risk taking, modes of play and social interactions, on the other hand, are more interesting and worthy of study.

The case for transgirls liking pink is not that pink is a fundamentally female colour but that they feel, in some way, female and choose to signal that by adapting behaviours that are typically female.

Barracker,

That is plain silly. It did not even occur to me that terf was any different to terftastic, it was a simple abbreviation.

thebewilderness · 10/02/2018 22:11

Just another goady post telling women to STFU, with dozens of women defending their right to have an opinion on their own lives. Breaks my heart.

No1IronGirderRS · 10/02/2018 22:11

Excellent post DN4!

@MoseShrute Have you seen any info about Dr Kenneth Zucker, who was fired in Canada? I think his ideas were close to what you were describing. I'll try and add a link here:

www.thecut.com/2016/02/fight-over-trans-kids-got-a-researcher-fired.html

Terftastic · 10/02/2018 22:08

Haha - sorry real Facts not truths. Having a funny 5 minutes. Grin

Terftastic · 10/02/2018 22:06

Terf - in the case of my username stands for "Telling Everyone Real Truth" - so it's not a problem Wink

Terftastic · 10/02/2018 22:03

AH - Barrack you are probably right. I namechange often - but whichever name I'm under, LarryGrylls is on the Feminism section, telling women they're wrong. And it often has something to do with gorillas.

BarrackerBarmer · 10/02/2018 22:00

Just me, or is larrygrylls appearing to enjoy abbreviating terftastic to 'terf' just a little too much?

OlennasWimple · 10/02/2018 21:59

It strikes me that the scientists doing the study are not all innately stupider than those who keep posting on this board 'gender is a social construct'. They clearly feel it is worth looking at.

We're not saying that scientists doing that research are stupid Hmm

Scientists like to probe issues that lack definitive research and / or that are "of the moment". they like testing theories by taking them apart and seeing how they go back together. They like looking at issues from a different angle to see what they might find - often it's not the answer that they thought they were looking for but something else that's interesting or useful in a different context.

So of course scientists right now are researching gender (and lady brains and so on). I suspect that there is a lot more money available to fund this than in the past too. But it doesn't mean that they will find "proof" that gender is innate.

And personally I don't see how they can find this: think of how pink used to be for boys and blue for girls (this only changed in the last 60 years or so). Or how all children wore dresses until they were about 7 years old (what significance would unpoppering a babygro have when both boys and girls wear dresses, other than babies fiddling like babies do?). Or how in the US soccer is a girls' sport, but in the UK it's for boys?

underneaththeash · 10/02/2018 21:41

I really hope this whole idea that you can chose your gender will have blown over by the time my children are old enough to have a sexual preference (and I do not have an opinion on what their sexual preference is).
You cannot choose your gender (or should not be able to) just as you cannot chose your race or age as it's biologically determined, nor should you be compelled to feel or behave a certain way because of it.

PunkrockerGirl59 · 10/02/2018 21:39

Yes Mike I've been worrying all week about your 'friend' and his imaginary tears.
Just fuck off. Your friend is a bloke. Always has been, always will be. Deal with it and ffs stop with this bollocks that transwomen are women. They're not. In the same way that if I draw on a moustache and wear trousers it doesn't make me a man and give me rights to use the men's toilets, changing rooms etc. I would be making myself vulnerable if I did this in ways you can't begin to imagine.
So again, fuck right off.

MoseShrute · 10/02/2018 21:28

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Terftastic · 10/02/2018 21:27

Nobody mocks all trans people on here, Larry. How dare you suggest that?

That's a typical argument used against women, again, who just want to protect legislation protecting them due to their biological sex.

Sevendown · 10/02/2018 21:26

Women have only X chromosomes.

That’s a biological fact.

It’s not discrimination.

larrygrylls · 10/02/2018 21:22

Terf,

FWIW, I am totally with the protection of female safe spaces and being very careful about allowing people to self identify.

Equally I don’t think trans people should ever be allowed to compete in women’s sport.

I also think a lot of the trans trend is mass hysteria.

However that does not mean overly simplistic arguments and mocking of all trans people will serve anyone well.

BarrackerBarmer · 10/02/2018 21:14

Oh I remember a primate gender study!

Wasn't that was the one where they saw that the female monkeys played more with the frying pan, instead of the ball, and so they quite rightly deduced that there was an innate female gender "I'm biologically destined to create warmed up cuisine" identity in female marmosets?

Yes that was very compelling.

Terftastic · 10/02/2018 21:13

Larry - No of course you won't be drawn on that. I've read years worth of your posts on here - telling women they're wrong, talking about Gorillas and evo-psych crap.

Maybe, Larry, think about why women do not want "sex" to be replaced by "gender" when it comes to legislation - because sex is scientifically quantifiable - whereas gender is not. Although, as a PP said, the WHO have a good take on it.

BarrackerBarmer · 10/02/2018 21:11

"They clearly feel it is worth looking at."

Yes, never underestimate the extreme lengths people will go to to try to evidence their theories, rather than DISPROVE them, which is what we ought to be doing.

Even if, across a population we were able to find slight variations of behaviour, AND somehow demonstrate that these were innate and not learned, these would a. not be binary (like sex) and b. would mean about as much as suggesting that short men are like women and tall women are like men, because look, we found a characteristic with a slight variance between the two groups!

Baffling that people are prepared to argue that corpus callosum thickness might be hugely meaningful, but having a dick isn't.

And if we were to separate humans into groups based on whatever fun criteria (affinity with dolls in childhood? brain circumference? parallel parking ability?) is currently flavour of the month I'm certain that the advocates for revering this new, true gender difference would be quite reluctant to take their findings towards any logical conclusion.

Mind, what would I know. I'm just someone posting on a board that gender is a construct, not like those super clever scientisty people.

(who say gender is a construct. Read Cordelia Fine and Gina Rippon)

Weezol · 10/02/2018 21:09

Looks like Mike pulled the Saturday night shift again at TRA HQ. Mike, has your imaginary trans friend stopped crying yet?

Juzza12 · 10/02/2018 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

larrygrylls · 10/02/2018 21:07

Terf,

I am not going to be drawn into an oversimplified yes/no debate into a complex area.

Many Scientists (both male and female) feel the idea of a biological basis for gendered behaviour in human beings is worth investigating.

You clearly believe they are all idiots. You are entitled to your opinion, as I am entitled to mine.

RatRolyPoly · 10/02/2018 21:04

thegoals I believe the idea is one of "signalling*. So a culture has an external construct which represents a particular gender, and that each individual has an innate gender. There are many reproductive and sociological reasons why people would befit from "signalling" their innate gender, or indeed why they would not. Apparently it can be like a feedback loop; when people feedback their self-expression into the social construct it helps shape and change it, and as it changes that changes what people do to "signal" their allegiances within society.

All theory of course.

Terftastic · 10/02/2018 21:02

Larry's going on about primates again - he must be right. After all, there is no quantifiable difference between primate behaviour and human society.

Larry - do you deny that women that women's reproductive biology determines how they have been and are treated in society. Try not to talk about primates - let's stick to humans when we're discussing women.

TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole · 10/02/2018 21:00

Obviously my statement about strength was meaning, as a class. I know some women are sronger than some men, and such. Just incase thats read wrong.

TheGoalIsToStayOutOfTheHole · 10/02/2018 20:59

But gender changes accoring to culture, and time. So I don't understand how it could possibly be innate? Sorry if I am missing something here. I cannot see gender as anything but taught behaviour. I see no reason why girls would be attracted to pink and pretty things or whatever nonsense.

The only things that would be innate is stuff like..men are better for work involving strength/speed. Because..biology. But even then, there have been times in different cultures where its actually the women who go out and hunt where the men stay home with the kids and stuff.

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