What would it mean to you "to live in the acquired gender" or as the opposite sex?

How does it work with a unisex name, I wonder?

How does Sam prove that Sam is no longer Sam🚹 but now Sam🚺?

Insofar as the law goes, "living in your acquired gender" just means "tell all officialdom you're a woman/man now". It means getting a statutory name change declaration done, getting the name on your bank account changed, getting your bill accounts changed, applying for jobs in your new gender, etc etc. Then prove to TPTB that you've been doing that for two years.

It doesn't really have anything to do with actual behaviour.

Interestingly for me I was raised by a feminist and she was a single Mum for most of my formative years so I suspect I haven't had the same degree of socialisation to be a 'woman' as a lot of people...

I work in a profession with pay scales which are agreed annually, published and are the same for men and women, so I wouldn't be able to demand extra pay as a man.

I think you should, as if you identify as a man you should also identify as school pals/retreat pals with all of those men who knew when they were 18 or even younger that they were going to be ministers (at which point I'm assuming you may not even have been allowed to be a minister, or at least having no or few role models) - hence stepping on the career ladder earlier, getting preferential treatment from their mates. Also you would have had a wee wifie in the manse who would have baked cakes for the parish and the moderator, again pushing you up the career ladder.

So you should demand to be treated as if you had always been male and hence were now earning a higher salary, and in a better position career wise.

Oh...my name. I have a girly first name. But not my surname as both DH & I double-barrelled to take each other's name.

So basically clothes, make up, tits, sewing and cats are all that determine me as a Davina not my real name rather than a Dave

And I don't move out of the way of men when walking through the City

Mine would be primarily appearance or quite shallow things really. Honestly if there was some kind of 'trans assessment' by the trans lobby with their ridiculous views of what makes someone a woman I'd probably overall come out as a man in a dress

Things I'd need to change:

• Clothes to 'man clothes' as I do tend to wear relatively feminine clothes
• Stop wearing make up and cut hair, though technically what I'm sporting at the moment is basically a 'man bun'
• Tell DH he is now married to a man. He'd be bemused but I suspect wouldn't care as not much would be different
• Stop caring as much about women's rights
• Stop volunteering for Cats Protection and volunteer at Dogs Trust
• Hobbies: stop crafting and start cycling(?)

Things I Wouldn't Need to Change:

• Career: I'm a freelance management consultant in the City
• Pay: I get paid pretty well and as I'm freelance I set my own rates. I earn 5 x DH's salary
• Share of housework: I'm lazy and DH does a fair share, I do all of the finances and DH doesn't really want to know the details
• DC primary carer: DH will be the SAHP when we have DC
• Car/Driving: I'm a fast driver and like cars that go fast. I hate being overtaken.
• Unemotional/logical outlook: I cry rarely and less than DH does. I'm very logical in my thinking
• Drive/confidence/outspokenness: I have these and apparently shouldn't as a woman
• Not caring what other people think: as above
• Material assets: I own our home and car

I want a functioning penis. Don’t care about the sex thing. I’d just like the convenience of being able to stand up to pee.

I don’t think I could ‘pass’ as a man. I’ve got wobbly bits in all the wrong places.

I'm not changing anything - I'm a man therefore have the sheer bollocks to just claim I'm "broadening the bandwidth of being Male"

I think it's such a red herring to think about passing anyway. I am a woman and I have occasionally been mistaken for a man. Does that mean I am less of a woman??!

The idea that most really pass is such an internet thing. Outside of a very small number of cases it really is just smoke and mirrors.

I used to think a lot of trans men passed quite well and whilst some do have the advantage of height if they were tall in the first place it's a really interesting exercise to see them placed next to natal groups of people rather than individual photos or selfies.

The first example I can remember is the person who was on the cover of Mens Health magazine. It was probably my first real exposure to TIF and I remember being shocked at what testosterone could actually do. However if you compare the cover shot with the group shot then you start to realise it's not quite as it seems.

www.pinknews.co.uk/images/2015/10/Aydian.png

vs

www.out.com/sites/out.com/files/2015/10/12/mh-umhg-final5-2015-600x450.jpg

Upstart that’s brilliant and once the non perverse men have to cope with women walking past them when they’ve got their penis (peni?) out, they might have a better understanding of women’s concerns. I’ll just say I’m a man, if questioned. 😇

"I posted this on another thread, but a transman on Twitter called Steven whittle said that his wife knew he was a man because he doesn’t know any of the names of his children’s friends"

Ha! DS regularly tests me with the aid of his school class photo. I regularly fail.

I suppose I'd have to cut my hair. Then again, I've known plenty of men with fabulous long hair, so why shouldn't I keep it long? Widen the bandwidth of being male and all that jazz.

@See yes this is a good point:

The only thing I could think of is I could stop worrying about the walk home from the bus stop late at night which is down a dark alleyway. I always run this last bit despite my advancing age. If I self-identified as a man I could saunter it like DH does. Of course, everyone else would then have to see me as a man too I suppose....

I have a gender-neutral name right down to the spelling and title.
I work from home.
I don't think my colleagues would notice any difference. In fact, I don't know if many of them know my sex, which is a very odd thought.

Do I get to miss going for my smear test next week, though?

I don't honestly think I could - I'm just entirely the wrong shape.

Lets say I had some major surgery, so I just looked like a slightly oddly shaped, very short man, then I'd need a few new clothes (I do buy women's t-shirts/jeans, for boob/hip room without excessive baggyness), otherwise, without leaning on stereotypes (I have longer hair, but it's just in a ponytail all day - like many men, I do do most of the 'wife-work'), nothing would need to change, and realistically, no-one's ever going to read me as a man anyway.

Personally I think that therapy would help a lot of people. Through my late 20s I learned to live with being short and dumpy, and fairly masculine personality-wise, that it was never going to change, and to just be a peace with it.

Realistically, most trans people are never going to pass as the opposite sex, and I wonder if rather than striving for it so hard, they might not be better served with coming to terms with their sexed bodies and interests. I know that it won't work for everyone, but I think that finding mental calm and acceptance has to be better than mutilating yourself chasing something you can never be.

Note that I'm not saying people should be 'converted' - they can still wear what they like, be interested in what they like, just be helped to accept that's fine, they don't need to do anything more drastic.

I could pee up a tree (after surgery). Always, always wanted to do that.

If they bring in gender self ID I'm going to use the mens toilets. All the perverts will be in the women's.

I could have dumped imposter syndrome confident that as a man, I am always qualified to do anything I have applied for, even though I only meet half the criteria.

Am retired now and for the first time in my life as a woman couldn't give a flying wotsit what people think of me and have no imposter syndrome.

So, fellow posters, eventually it doesn't matter - but it's too late then to take advantage of it anyway.

I would be using the other public toilets.