Thought "feminist" meant women standing with women, was I so wrong?

Thanks PencilsInSpace

OP I hope making a stand works out for you get the support you need.

But we all know how it pans out in the end.

Does it involve Sheila Jeffreys?

PencilsInSpace

That is a brilliant post. And mirrors my experience. Although with different incidents. There are so many to choose from...

And I completely agree.

We are at the point in the series where everywhere the hero turns it's another enemy.

But we all know how it pans out in the end.

ExFunFeminist - Could you educate me what is was that bought this to your attention, and others, a few years ago?

It was actually following a rather vicious bunfight on here where I'd been trying to defend the notion of ladybrain () by saying if men's and women's brains are not different then how come trans exists? So I got sent off to read Cordelia Fine's Delusions of Gender and slowly realised I'd got the whole thing arse about face.

I started reading around - found out about the cotton ceiling, transactivists trying to shut down MichFest (women only music festival that eventually closed in 2015 because of the pressure), I think the Vancouver Rape Relief case was still ongoing (a TW dragged them through court for years for not letting them be a volunteer counsellor). Then there was Paris Green, a trans murderer who had to be moved out of a women's prison for 'having sex with' female inmates (Paris was in prison because he tied a man to a chair, tortured him for hours and then killed him, so it's questionable how consensual the sex with inmates was). Then there was the TIM who asserted his right to sprawl about with his dick out in a women's sauna and use the women's swimming pool changing room, with the result that a whole group of school girls had to get changed in the broom cupboard ...

And as time has gone on this trickle of stories has now become a flood. I have peaktransed more times than I can remember and every time I think I've seen it all, something else happens and I peaktrans all over again. Madigan and the labour party shenanigans are the latest thing that has left me truly gobsmacked.

This is without even touching on what's happening with children.

I'm actually really hopeful now though. I read on another thread (Harriet Harman one I think) some posters saying we've lost and it's like we're stuck in a dystopian TV series.

We have not lost! We are stuck in a dystopian TV series but I reckon we're only about half way through episode 2 - the one where the general population starts to become aware of the dystopian situation and goes WTAF??!! The level of awareness about what's going on has started to snowball, just in the last 6-12 months I'd say.

Sorry that was quite long.

OP how are things going at work?

I feel for you OP and I hope you don't lose your job. Things are getting nasty right now.

I've started another thread about that to save hijacking yours, shiney. Hope the wine-hangover-god has been kind to you this morning again :)

A bit ot here, but re assasinated post "It's as if you think your local feminist group should act like a union and send a rep when you need one, even though you're not a member and have nothing to do with that group" - I wonder if there is a gap here for a GC feminist Union? To act on people being victimised by their employers based on their concerns. Would that even be possible, without focusing on other employment issues? I don't know

OP can you PM me the name of the institution you are referring to?

Something about what you have said has rung a bell for me.

I might know somebody gender critical there, who could support you.

OP, I think the discussion is going round in circles, but what do you think might be the best way forward for you? When it comes to the trans issue, some women have put their head above the parapet, so it could be worth contacting the organisers of A Woman's Place, who may be able to help - am fairly sure they have been in touch with lawyers.

Also I wonder if talking to the press might help - obviously this could go either way, but the Times reporters might be interested as they have been very good on this.

Finally, are you the member of a union? If your job is genuinely under threat, they ought to be able to support you.

It's as if you think your local feminist group should act like a union and send a rep when you need one, even though you're not a member and have nothing to do with that group. It's bizarre that you thought they might have complied with your request. Even more bizarre that you expected people from this group that are strangers to you, to contact you and ask after you and your wellbeing.

Actually, do you have a union or a professional organisation that you can get legal advice and support from?

I'd read the rumours about this being a scary board, but I didn't believe them until now.

I agree with AnotherQuoll, re: OP sounding like someone with an anime avatar

I wouldn't have come if you are in rl anything like you are in your posts. I avoid men and women who disagree with feminism and who are ranty.

There is a person local to me who is always trying to get people involved in stuff. No one wants to go despjte agreeing with the cause because she is annoying.

Is this a Turing test?

Did you really think that inviting a load of random strangers nothing to do with your institution to come along to your meeting would be allowed?

Seriously I applaud you for making a stand, but you're massively going about this the wrong way.

Lots of people here have said post the issue and we'll give you a game plan. We could actually help you. But it seems you'd rather get pissed than listen. You're really not helping yourself.

I know you are drunk and everything, but what you have written is quite incoherent.

Not sure what you were trying to challenge (did it have to do with bathrooms or something?) but surely you would approach the union in the first instance if you needed accompaniment to a meeting? I also work in HE and that would be my first port of call.

Is the feminist group based at or connected to the university? If it has nothing to do with the university, then I am not sure how they could be expected to help with an issue internal to the university. Additionally, not all feminists have the same attitude towards trans rights. You cannot expect them to blindly support something they may not 100% believe in. You absolutely cannot expect blind support if their jobs may be on the line. You might think that money and bank balance is by the by but I suspect that this is because you have a partner who earns money. When you have nobody to rely on but yourself, you think differently.

I am also unsure what the meeting was. Was it a disciplinary meeting? Were you just raising concerns with the VC and had arranged a meeting? It's very risky to do this on your own. It's better to find a group that shares your values and do it through that. While you may feel that you are striking a blow for 'women everywhere', your actions will now just be written off as one person ranting. There is safety in numbers.

I also struggle to understand the vitriol towards feminists and the sycophantic praise of the chaplain and right wingers. Firstly, being a feminist simply means believing in equality between the sexes. Do you not believe in that? Secondly, yes, the right-wingers will technically support your point in that they do not like trans people. They would also support you if you were anti gay adoption for instance. However, they are not your true allies because deep down right wingers dislike women and see them as inferior to men. The chaplain may seem like a sweet old man but that's his job. They talk to and deal with anyone who comes before them, including serial killers and rapists. They will always be sympathetic and listen. But I doubt the priest will be joining you on your future fight against trans rights. He was paid to listen, that is all.

Finally, your use of 'wimmin' is really fucking offensive. I hope you wouldn't use e.g. racial slurs because members from a particular race did not support you. If you wouldn't, then please don't use them against women either.

It might help if you didn't view feminists as "screaming banshees", OP. Do you really think the women you see that way can't tell? And that it won't impact how they relate to you?

I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt the first time but it looks like this is an ongoing issue, and one that's at least in part of your own creation. Feminists are fellow women, not a resource that you can drawn on when you feel like it and scorn the rest of the time.

whoops - three kinds!

OP, two kinds of people turn up to support in these cases.

1. The kind of pastoral support you got from the Anglican chaplain. His or her focus is on helping anyone who needs help - no matter what. Just sitting by your side or standing with you. Well done him/her (can't remember which)

1. People who know you and are kind and want to help you in a personal capacity regardless of the issue.

1. People to whom the issue facing you matters on a policy level. They will need to know just what is happening, time to decide is it the kind of thing they should support or is it something they actually don't support at all, then they need to figure out who can go to help, taking time of work to do so. All of these organisation - especially the local feminist one - are volunteer. They have busy lives. So they need to plan who they can send. They need to be sure they aren't going to end up on the daily mail front page supporting some batshit awful cause.

Surely you can see the difficulties facing your local "feminist group" in you sending in a call for help like they are Scotland Yard and you are a local police force? They don't know who you are, they don't know what they are getting into and they need to go to work and feed their children.

Also are you sure the call you gave - if electronic - was even read in time???

😘

Listen up wimmin, you’re all doing feminism wrong!

Signed: non-feminist.