FT investigation: Men only fundraiser and sexual harrassment

'Random' was never mentioned. Putting words in mouths there.
The term 'specific' was used - the precise opposite.
I'm not one for personal comments and assumptions about individuals, so I'll leave the thread. There was never an intention to insult or offend. I do feel some have sought to take offence.

instant that is so good!

The men who judge random women's attractiveness are putting on a public display of male dominance under the guise of a compliment.

And I just asked DH if he would ever tell a random woman that he found her attractive and he looked at me as if I was bonkers. His reply was 'why would a random woman be interested in what a random man thought of her' in another words who would be arrogant enough to think that their banal thoughts are of interest to a stranger? Are we supposed to be grateful that we're actually on their apparently superior radar?

I feel etc etc etc......

Oh, I watched that last night, instant. The bit at the end where he's going "so this is why you said 'Nish, you don't need to read the script, no really,..'" and the punchline it sets up is just brilliant.

Here's some more handy advice!

*naked men,

Bloody phone.

FFS. I had to spend all day explaining what victim blaming was and how the power gradient makes these events so insidious.

Apparently it’s ok to have female strippers at work as long as we have male strippers next time.

I said “women don’t want to look at naked me, we just want men to fuck off and leave us alone”. And that, brilliant includes you.

Brilliant, dude, nobody cares. Be paranoid if you like, hopefully it will lead to you talking less, which would be a win for everyone.

hahaha!

Thanks Waspnest.

To be fair I think that my DH would also find it uncomfortable if a man told him he found him attractive because the subtext is I wonder what it would be like to shag you. If you have a wife, a mother or a daughter I really don't believe you when you claim not to understand why this might make a woman uncomfortable. Really we don't need to know if you find us attractive, we're not Paris Lees.

I feel I should reply to the sea lioning tedious man but sorry.

Tragic that being a decent human being is so inconvenient for you, Brilliant the sea lion.

knowyourmeme.com/memes/sea-lioning

Vid link is for the world at large, not just fish for the sea lion :)

Try this ChemistryGeek:

wondermark.com/1k62/

www.facebook.com/thedailymash/videos/1433350800107417/

It is from a cartoon where the sea lion follows the people everywhere arguing pointlessly.

Good grief, this has now turned from a single man complimenting a single woman, into a man who is habitually commenting on the appearance of women in the workplace!

We are not talking about a man who is looking for some sexual fulfillment, however sordid, we are talking about how a single man who finds a single woman attractive feels reluctant to say so thanks to the types of men at this 'party'. I think that's a sad repercussion.

We are not talking about his 'right' to say it at will as soon as he sees an attractive woman, we are talking about someone specific who he finds attractive. It would be much easier to say 'I like her taste in literature and music' but it's now far harder to say 'I think she's really attractive'. It doesn't have to equate to some sexual predator, office creep, distasteful view of women.
Already on this thread it's as if 'if you dare utter those words you must be such and such'... that just cannot be right.

Maybe you could put a disclaimer on your replies? Something like:

I feel I should reply to the sea lioning tedious man but sorry

Sorry too! Will go and stick pins in a wax model of trump or something instead. Quite a lot of this week's news has really pissed me off for some reason

Sorry! I know it is bad but at the same time for the lurkers it is good to see refutations of the standard office creeps mansplaining justifications and arguments.

What, as opposed to the situation where just the women feel guarded and the men feel totally relaxed and fine?

Nope, where either is affected. I don't think a reasonable man would feel comfortable if a woman felt guarded. I certainly wouldn't, but can't speak for all. I'd feel the same if another man felt guarded too, as it would suggest there's something fundamentally wrong in the arrangement / event.