Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

I am worried

41 replies

cafeaulaitpourvous · 22/01/2018 12:36

About lily

Are they living at home - where is their mum and dad? I am concerned about their wellbeing.
I know they are 20 and at 20 I was married with a mortgage and a baby but Lily does seem very immature- and that worries me.

Is there anyone here who knows their parents etc? I think lily needs their help.

Ok I don't believe they are in the right at all and lily isn't behaving well but probably it's the Mum in me who is concerned... yes I know I have been conditioned to feel this way!!!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
ShoesHaveSouls · 22/01/2018 20:40

YY Battleax. My thoughts exactly.

Battleax · 22/01/2018 20:34

That's a good point Shoes. If anybody comes across as vulnerable and influenced (although equally obnoxious) it's that Adrie character.

ShoesHaveSouls · 22/01/2018 20:23

OP - I'm the same as you, I always worry for these people who seem vulnerable - even when they're doing the most unspeakably stuff on Twitter! We are socialised to care for young, vulnerable-seeming people.

I'm not so worried about Lily actually - I have a feeling they're not quite as vulnerable as they make out... some of the others in the gang though, I'm not so sure about Sad

Lily Madigan is literally leading a 'TERF' witch hunt in the Labour Party - it's like Salem over there at the moment - and has already got one party member suspended (that we know of) and caused another to resign. It's really unpleasant stuff.

Geronimoleapinglizards · 22/01/2018 20:11

I am finding all this stuff terrifying - my mental health is ropey at the best of times.

I'm more concerned about you than about Lily. Please take care of yourself. This is very challenging stuff. Some days I find it very distressing and my family feel the same about these issues. There are other women voicing the same distress on here if that helps. We have to support one another and be strong together.

If it gets overwhelming, take some time out and look after yourself. There's a whole wonderful world out there with lots of good people working to make things better.

hipsterfun · 22/01/2018 20:05

I just researched his past to try to understand why he is psychologically the way he is, and now his narcissism makes perfect sense to me (I have a psych degree).

Any pointers to resources that explain how to raise boys to be the total opposite of this dreadful little numpty?

LangCleg · 22/01/2018 16:06

Look, OP. I know you're genuinely concerned.

But it's a matter of relative harms.

Lily may well be vulnerable, even mentally unwell. Lily may well be the pawn of MRA types within the Labour Party.

But Lily isn't sufficiently unwell to not understand the difference between right and wrong.

Lily needs to be held to account. And, if Lily ever sees the error of Lily's ways, perhaps then we could all say that Lily is young and has perhaps been misled and yes, there is a chance for rehabilitation and forgiveness.

But Lily isn't doing that. Lily is doubling down. To the detriment of thousands upon thousands of women.

I'm past giving quarter. And that's final.

Howyoualldoworkme · 22/01/2018 15:54

I started work at 16 and was a parent at 20.
Look, this little monster would chuck all of us in the Gulag without so much as a backward glance so don't be taken in.

Battleax · 22/01/2018 15:53

Ha, that'll teach me to at least read the full post before replying Grin

Glad to hear it's been reported.

Battleax · 22/01/2018 15:51

His henchman Adie took this info and started a Hit List which was posted publicly yesterday. LM posted about "beating" terfs and Adrie provided a list of terfs to be beaten.

Good grief, where?

I assume the police are aware?

Superlandlady · 22/01/2018 15:41

OK let's get a few things straight here!

  1. It's not true that nobody knows who LM's folks are. I know his entire family history, who his parents are and where they are now. His parents are both married to new spouses. I won't be giving this information away, I just researched his past to try to understand why he is psychologically the way he is, and now his narcissism makes perfect sense to me (I have a psych degree).
  1. LM has started a secret Facebook group called Labour Against Transphobia which sounds benign EXCEPT it isn't because its purpose is to keep female members under surveillance and keep a dossier of their (made up crimes) which, in some cases, have been logged as "clicking like on a radfem trans critical post". His henchman Adie took this info and started a Hit List which was posted publicly yesterday. LM posted about "beating" terfs and Adrie provided a list of terfs to be beaten. The police have been informed. Given that LM is being aggressive and threatening to ordinary women, why should we care a damn about his welfare?
  1. Like the above, by age 20 I had supported myself and paid rent on a flat for four blood years! LM is not a child. He is 50% aggressive male youth and 50% simpering Poor Me faux-victim.
I am worried
I am worried
UpstartCrow · 22/01/2018 14:03

I dont think you are wrong OP, Lily appears to be very immature and there seems to be someone in the background. I dont believe Lily writes everything that is published under their name.
At the same time, Lily has made choices for themselves.

We can protest Lily's behaviour while at the same time being concerned that kids are being recruited and directed.

cafeaulaitpourvous · 22/01/2018 14:02

@Didactylos you have made me cry

I am finding all this stuff terrifying - my mental health is ropey at the best of times. I can't talk to family about my fears as they are all on the side of the trans. Except my husband who at nearly 60 has 'seen and done some crazy shit' ( his words) and thinks the trans rights stuff is just madness

OP posts:
Didactylos · 22/01/2018 13:58

And, OP you are in no way wrong to express concern and feel charitable to someone, for any reason: its perfectly valid and shows a laudable kindness of your character

EamonnWright · 22/01/2018 13:58

eg the hotel freebie blogger in the last week

That was just Grin

The hotel had more social media followers than her.

Fekko · 22/01/2018 13:56

I was 20 - had a degree, left home, started a post-grad and had my own place (600 miles from mum and dad).

I didn't make rapey jokes, think the world owed me anything or try to bully anyone who wasn't me.

And I was actually quite the feminist back in the day... (for women)

DonkeySkin · 22/01/2018 13:55

TBH I don't think it's appropriate to start a thread in order to speculate on an individual's mental health and family situation.

Seems too personal, and God knows this issue is bigger than LM.

Didactylos · 22/01/2018 13:54

I have the same sympathy I have for any person undergoing a very public 'car crash' in the press or on social media - eg the hotel freebie blogger in the last week

I will not make personal comments or denigrate the individual but I am allowed to have an opinion on and make my judgement of the situation on their own documented actions, including the ability to take ownership of their choices and responsibility for their behaviour.

Perhaps soul searching and concern for any fallout from this situation needs to come from those who encouraged LM into a position of responsibility LM is manifestly unsuited for and continue to flatter and encourage LMs behaviour.

Battleax · 22/01/2018 13:53

Try to remember that twenty is actually an adult. Many twenty year olds around the globe manage very well independently.

Even those without ten thousand hand maidens and fetishists on hand to wipe their nose for them!

Battleax · 22/01/2018 13:50

I was fending for myself at 20.

Notably I didn't make rape jokes, chuck my weight around, suffer from stinking narcissism or photograph myself incessantly or witter on inanely all day.

But then I was fitting FT working hours around FT study.

Maybe Madigan should try it instead of sitting on twitter, hand extended.

cafeaulaitpourvous · 22/01/2018 13:49

Twice by the look of it

OP posts:
cafeaulaitpourvous · 22/01/2018 13:48

Ok. I am wrong

OP posts:
cafeaulaitpourvous · 22/01/2018 13:48

Ok. I am wrong

OP posts:
Elendon · 22/01/2018 13:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EamonnWright · 22/01/2018 13:30

Lily and get pals tried to out people and get them kicked out of the Labour party. Possibility to lose your job etc. Why should anyone have sympathy?

cafeaulaitpourvous · 22/01/2018 13:18

@Justanotherzombie er no ... just a concerned human being towards another human being.

If something does happen (god forbid) some soul searching will be in order.

Lily obviously has some mental health issues ( like a lot of us) and it seems they are a patsy .

I know lily has done wrong - and will probably pay for it quite dearly but I think the puppet masters are more to blame.

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread