This should bring a few more to peak trans

Well we are totally confused in this house.

Dh is the far better parent, flower arranger, present organiser and wrapper, enjoys watching female sports.

Me I prefer watching male sports (especially rugby), know the offside rule in football, good at fixing things, gardening, decision making.

I suppose it depends on how hard the sums you're finding hard actually are hairyball If it's 2+4=? vexing you them that might be a lady brain you have there.

Did it make you screw up your pretty little forehead when you saw those numbers?

Remember as Barbie says - 'Math is hard, I like shopping'

I wear dresses a lot, but not heels or make-up. What am I???

I am slobbing around in jeans and a fleece. I spent the best part of a decade playing women's Sunday league football. My day job involves hard sums. I must be a man.

Mind you, I checked the other day and I do still have a vagina. Clearly it must be a man vagina. A vir-vag if you will.

Eamonn, make me a sandwich, will you? There's a love!

I'm off to tell my doc that I'm a man...couldn't have me missing out on all those vital prostate checks now, could we?

I’m off to tell my boss I’m a man. Couldn’t have me only paid the same as my female colleagues now, could we?

Eamonn watch your plums don't smack you on the lady dick on the way down! Ouch.

nauticat
I'm so going to use that one on my boys. I can already sense their disapproving looks!
Them →
Me →

That's me having a beer with a mate watching the City game. My voice has broke and my plums have dropped again.

I’m just so disappointed in this new campaign to uphold gender stereotypes in the name of progress.

That's such a good description of what's going on. It's exactly that.

I don't own makeup or heels but like skirts in the summer. Spent seven years of my life lactating and three years pregnant. So am probably female on balance thanks to the skirts.

However, I just got back from B&Q with my son. DS enjoyed admiring the orchids and choosing a lovely shade of paint for his sister's bedroom, whilst I selected a power tool and materials for my current DIY project. Meanwhile, DH looked after several of the neighbour's kids, wrote a shopping list and cooked dinner. Damn. It seems that our family is living under false pretences.

@SimonBridges
Thank fuck for that. Just to be sure...go and slip on a little lippy and fishnet stockings.
If you slip back into being a man that blood will need emergency treatment asap.
Best just to wear a skirt and high heels all the time just to be sure.

I'm off to tell my doc that I'm a man...couldn't have me missing out on all those vital prostate checks now, could we?

GUFFAW! Nauticant

My dad is playing Fifa 18 with her dad. When should I expect her penis to grow? Will it start in the bath or just be there in the morning?

She'll be made up if it emerges in the bath.

Actually I think I still might be a Lesbian! I'm currently in the kitchen watching a pot of stew and one of Bolognese.

Two pots on the go at the same time means you're pansexual.

It’s ok. I picked up my handbag and became female again.

I am confused. 3 days a week I wear a skirt and makeup to work (but not heels), one day I wear trousers and makeup to work (still no heels), all the rest of the time it's trousers, no makeup and no heels. Am I gender fluid or a man?

And DD (7) is wearing trousers, no makeup and no heels. Does that mean she's a boy? Or does that only apply to adults? And what age does it start applying? If it continues will she suddenly change sex at 11, 16, 18?

Gosh, I haven't been female for around the past 30 years.
I don't wear heels, skirts, dresses, shoes, makeup, own a handbag, and most of the time I wear aftershave. Drink pints most of the time, like watching action films and I game.
Will have to tell the 4 dc's I gave birth to that they need to call me dad?

Oh but I have long hair and like a certain young person begging for cash I wear hoodies.

What the fuck am I?

I always wondered what I was

As I wear trousers all the time
Rarely wear make up ( well I did wear lots in the 1980s but goths of both sexes did)
I am better than lorry driver DH at reverse parking, map reading and general awareness of space and direction)
I can do most basic things on a car ( change brakes etc)
I don't own a skirt or a dress or any heels

So I must be a bloke

Call me Dave .... I think I suit Dave

Never mind the sexual abuse and harassment when I was a child, the abortion I was made to have when I was 16, being told I couldn't do things because I was a girl, the pregnancies that I ended up losing, the two babies I nearly lost my life growing and the subsequent gynae and urinary issues I have had due to the births.

And now as a fifty year old the fucking HRT I am taking to keep me from killing myself

Actually if all this shit they spout - calling the hormones they take HRT makes my blood boil. It's fucking hormone REPLACEMENT therapy ..... replacement means to put something back that has been lost...

I can't even have the fucking menopause without them trying to take it for themselves......

Fucking hell

With much love to all

Dave

Do you have a pair of heels, Simon?

Put them on, that helps.

Don'tbuy - Iknow, I know! You must be trans!

Gaspode - I'm ok, really. I'm just so bloody angry about that bloody ignorant wanker. I'm fine now. DH says I must have a swinging brick instead of a heart, I so rarely cry! He's lovely really, I'm making him sound terrible but he's not!

Help!!
I’m clearly male today yet there is blood gushing out of me. I’ve had to use all sorts of expensive, taxed, stuff to try and stop it, but it won’t end. I’ll be dead by morning for sure. Send help!!

Phew, that's me relieved then.
Good thing I like make up, or I would have had to self identify as a man.

I'm a 39 week pregnant man - a medical marvel!

I am also Man-acus. Tall too, so I really look like a man. I also played rugby. And was a police officer. Never wear heels, hardly dresses, never make up.
I mean all this must make me an actual man.

However there's the tricky problem that I do wear a dress every now and then - what am I?!
God no wonder they're so fucked up, this messing about with gender crap is really confusing....

How do you define being a women?

When you were born did you have a vagina and female internal reproductive organs? Are you now an adult? Then you are a woman.

If when you were born you had a penis and you are now an adult then you are a man.

If when you were born it wasn’t possible to tell then you will know about that all ready and are a tiny tiny percentage of the population.