ITV Transformation Street

@48harv Thank you.

"how did you come up with that handle" what handle?

I've done a lot of reading on this topic, a lot. I came to it via the church debates around homosexuality. The C of E has been discussing homosexuality a lot in the last few years since same sex marriage. Over the last few years forums which discussed sexuality became more LGBT focused and so I came into contact, on line and in person, with trans people and trans-related issues.

I'm from a church tradition that is usually a bit less 'tolerant' (low church) and part of being involved in these kind of church debates is to try and help the church think through these different issues.

I've struggled with trans issues, I don't have one uniform view. It has affected me as we have what may be called 'gender fluid' people in my wider family and amongst friends's children. I am very concerned for young children who are being told if they like to dress a certain way that must mean they are trans etc, or gender-fluid.

I do not believe these are all girls who would normally be trans but rather that it is a trend. This is not a reflection on you at all 48harv, it is what is happening with young people today.

I see it from outside as it does not affect me directly. It concerns me because I don't want young people, especially girls, to feel there is something wrong with being a girl.

As I say, it is a big issue, it is a bit like one of those pictures where you look and at first it appears to be one thing and then it is another thing. The reasons young women are dressing androgynous nowadays are not not necessarily the reason that males are identifying as women. And certainly not the same as, as you pointed out, those in the short-skirted fishnet crewe, there are lots of different things going on!

Must go to bed now. Night Night.

If I was to have a relationship with a man of course he would have to know what I was but most of my friends bar one take me as female and I am no threat to them or them to me

But I think people will not wait until their parents died now, but I've heard of that before 48harv, people waiting until their parents died.

Not sure if you are watching CBB, but Wayne Sleep was talking about coming out as gay and said he could not do it until his parents had died. Was quite an emotional conversation really.

I actually feel very angry that modern day trans activists are actually doing so much harm to support for transsexuals. You may encounter some of these thoughts on Mumsnet, these are very hot topics and sometimes the debates are very much about issues, not about individual people. Most of us here, if not all of us here, are actually concerned for the issues, and the people separately. If that makes sense. Angry that women's fragile rights are being challenged but actually supportive of individuals who are not trying to hurt others.

YY to this.

To all who have read my story there is more to me than what I wrote, I am an active campaigner for all things female, from FGM, early marriage, 130 million girls not attending school, the rape culture in India, the enslavement if women captives if daesh and book haram, the rights of women in Middle eastern countries especially Saudi Arabia, and the brutal attacks on cevilians in war zones, I also have Muslim friends who are really nice people who I respect immensely. I love to learn all I can about a diverse range of topics

I'm glad you've had jobs you like and are going to church. I think being honest with people is really good. Of course you need to look out for your safety but also others should be able to feel safe too.

I say I would handle it badly, I know I would, but I also know I love my kids and would try my best for them! One of my children is a teenager and it's very, very common for trans gender topics and the topic of sexuality to be discussed at school, these seem to be the two hot topics. Although I don't think they are actually being taught about them. All the info is being found on the internet.

Dear italiagreyhound how did you come up with that handle it does not portray you , I find you empathetic and really nice and refreshingly open minded thank you for that

Dear Italian greyhound the different angles were they were transvestites and thrill seekers that wanted to parade in ultra short skirts and fishnet tights and be as outlandish as possible, and swore like burly men 😁

@48harv I am so sorry about what happened with those three girls. There are horrible people in many places.

I looked under telly addicts and it seems no one was watching this programme.

I've watched both last week's episode and this weeks' one. I don't actually watch the surgery bits.

I felt very sad watching the mum with Lucas. I've got a daughter, I was trying to imagine how I would handle this. Very badly is my guess.

But I think people will not wait until their parents died now, but I've heard of that before 48harv, people waiting until their parents died.

I actually feel very angry that modern day trans activists are actually doing so much harm to support for transsexuals. You may encounter some of these thoughts on Mumsnet, these are very hot topics and sometimes the debates are very much about issues, not about individual people. Most of us here, if not all of us here, are actually concerned for the issues, and the people separately. If that makes sense. Angry that women's fragile rights are being challenged but actually supportive of individuals who are not trying to hurt others.

Thank you for sharing here, it is good to hear a variety of voices.

On the upside of this and to lighten the mood it was the best thing I could have done, I have made peace with my God and have for the last 5 months been attending church again for the first time since my teens, I looked after 2children through their young lives as a nanny, yes the mother knew what I had done, and I have always held jobs that require one to one contact, but I do not tell them I am transexual , they take me as female .... which I am.🌹

But people having surgery to live their lives is a really different issue, to me!

Yup. Agree with this.

I have strong views on female only spaces. Not as strong as they could be (for example postop transwomen I have no issue sharing female space with, BUT I also do acknowledge that other women may have problems) but strong enough.

But I have absolutely no problem at all with anyone modifying their body in a way that alleviates their dysphoria. I wish 'gender' was abolished fullstop to be quite honest as then everyone could wear what they liked and be as masculine or as feminine as they want to be without even a raised eyebrow.

we must stop cross posting like this!

Great minds

I swear more on Mumsnet than I ever do in real life!

@48harv " but in truth I found some of the women were looking for “different “ angles than I was and only attended for a required span of time" What angles?

@Vicxy we must stop cross posting like this!

When I was transitioning I was abused by both genders both physically and verbally I attended a college for free facial electrolysis and hair treatments as I almost lost my hair as it was pulled out by the roots by 3 girls, I am saying this as I want to explain that there are people that do hate my type

48harv "I think I am going to like this forum it’s refreshing to read honest comments"

I think Mumsnet is a very varied place! Post in AIBU and you will find the comments are caustic and terrible. I would advise extreme caution. I'm not a regular poster in the feminism section so no idea what it is like all the time.

I think on this subject of trans issues it will very much depend what people are asking or saying. We've had threads about male prisoners (like a rapist) being put in female prisons and there you will find some comments that some trans people would find very unsupportive! I've fallen out in real life with friends over that kind of issue. But people having surgery to live their lives is a really different issue, to me!

I think I am going to like this forum it’s refreshing to read honest comments
Heh. If mumsnet is anything it is definitely honest I had quite the shock when I first joined, esecially with the amount of swearing. But it definitely grows on you.

I hope you do stick around. Its useful to have differing opinions on stuff. Echo chambers do noone any good really.

Yes toitalian greyhounds question, it is interesting, when I was in my early days of transition I was required to attend similar forums where like minded people would meet for tea and topical discussion but in truth I found some of the women were looking for “different “ angles than I was and only attended for a required span of time

Again @Vicxy is completely correct. I've never heard that language of 'abomination'. Sadly, the only place I have heard this kind of language is in relation to homosexuality from some very 'fundamentalist' Christian types. As a Christian myself I would never consider using that language about anyone!

I do feel these days we can also, to some extent, choose to be around people who affirm us. Things have changed so much that in some ways people are choosing to present as they want. I really feel the whole self-identity has thrown a bomb into the support that would have been naturally there between trans women and women.

I think I am going to like this forum it’s refreshing to read honest comments

@48harv are you watching the programme?

Thank you for your comments , I am over the past 28 years content and happy and wouldn’t change a thing , I did have bottom surgery but left the rest to nature, my female form I am happy with but at 70 the wrinkles are an unpleasant reality😍

I definitely do not see transsexuals as an abomination and would never ever use that language to describe another person. I doubt any other woman on this board would either.

Cross-posted with @Vicxy who puts it so very well.

Yes, lots of woman are very supportive of trans people. Sadly the whole 'self-identity' thing has really turned a lot of women off being supportive.

When I went out I was just as vulnerable to assault as a “real” girl or woman especially at night, yet that risk was one I willingly took, and remember more Transexuals die than any other minority because we are detested by both genders as being an abomination.

@48harv thank you for sharing your story. Have you watched the programme or is it too difficult to watch?

I don't think it is wrong for anyone to marry as long as they are honest, the example I gave of the soldier who transitioned last week was not honest and married only to tell his wife 5 months later that he wanted to be a woman.

48harv I hope you feel happy now. I have a lot of sympathy for all trans people and know trans people who are happy with their transition. The programme seems to be following people with a variety of stories and telling them in a compassionate way.

48harv

I am glad you finally found happiness.

I think you may find regardless of what you might have been told about MN, and in particular the MN feminist section, that not many women here think you are wrong for having surgeries or whatever to feel more at peace with yourself. That women on here think all people should be able to dress how they like and such without discrimination and that everyone should be able to live their loives free of violence. Its only when transactivists and their ilk feel the need to trample all over the rights of female people..that there is a bit of a problem.

As I understand it (well, from what my trans family member tells me anyway, as I personally only know 3 trans people) most transsexual people actually disagree with the actions of transactivists and 'transgender' (suck my lady penis or be branded bigoted types, not other transsexual people) people and dislike how much the way they behave brings negative attention to transsexual people.