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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

ITV Transformation Street

639 replies

RedToothBrush · 11/01/2018 17:29

On tv tonight.

But here's an article to give you a taste of what its going to be like:www.standard.co.uk/lifestyle/london-life/transformation-street-itv-transgender-documentary-a3737876.html

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Italiangreyhound · 21/01/2018 20:47

@48harv I am so very sorry you had that experience. I once worked with elderly people ad a lady in her 70s or 80s told me she was raped by her husbands friend. She could not tell him for fear he would oil the ma and she would lose him to prison.

She may well not have told many people.

Sometimes we need to let that stuff out.

You can report your own post and ask for it to be deleted if you wish. But there is no reason you should feel anything negative about sharing it.

Flowers
Deadlylampshade · 21/01/2018 20:46

greyhound I realised on the second read what you meant but it just tickled me. Grin

Italiangreyhound · 21/01/2018 20:40

@Deadlylampshade Not by choice! Aka I don't know any lesbians!

Datun · 21/01/2018 20:39

48harv

This is not my socialisation talking, neither is it me contradicting my profound disagreement with the trans 'ideology', but I feel incredibly empathetic towards your situation.

Whatever has made you 'feel like a woman', I can see it is quite, quite genuine.

And I can't tell you how much it fucks me off that people like you, who were accepted by women, into their spaces, as a courtesy, are getting caught in the crossfire.

The conflict, for me, is whilst women are trying to fight off the huge erosion of their rights, and their very name, people like you are getting caught in the crossfire.

It bloody worked. It did. People like you were far more allies than enemies.

And this horrendous wave of Johnny Come Latelies have fucked it up.

Harv don't be distressed about sharing that awful experience. Sometimes it's cathartic. We are anonymous women on an anonymous forum.

It won't go anywhere.

However, if you like, you can email mumsnet and ask them to delete it, if it is worrying you.

For what it's worth, you're kind of talking to 'the initiated'. There's not a woman alive who hasn't suffered some kind of negative sexual experience, be it harassment or worse.

Anyway, stick around. You're not the only transwoman who posts on here and is an ally.

You might want to google Miranda Yardley. A transwoman who fights tooth and nail for women.

I've met her. She's funny, grounded and has a true affinity with women.

It can be done. We know it can.

QuentinSummers · 21/01/2018 20:13

I'm not surprised after writing all that. Look after yourself.

Deadlylampshade · 21/01/2018 20:12

You look after yourself harv and come back any time to chat.
Sending lots of Flowers and a hot cup of tea. Brew

48harv · 21/01/2018 20:10

Enough about me this forum is how we go forward with banning this ludicrous law they are dreaming up , I will draught a letter over the next couple of days and let you see it before I send it but now I must take a bath and rest, I feel emotional at the moment and not the best company , will show you the ketter promise

QuentinSummers · 21/01/2018 20:07

Aw I really feel for you. This is all very sad.

48harv · 21/01/2018 20:06

I guess the psychiatrists would label me as (A) sexual I haven’t ever had sex with a man or a woman (couple of the girls did try, but I couldn’t rise to the occasion the girls and women were really nice people and I enjoyed their company greatly just couldn’t do the sex bit, forgive me I have also never masturbated either , I hated touching the thing

QuentinSummers · 21/01/2018 20:06

Flowers harv

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 21/01/2018 20:05

Sorry harv

Thanks
Deadlylampshade · 21/01/2018 20:02

That’s truly awful harv I’m so sorry you had experience that.

Male violence is so awful and it’s heartbreaking that you have internalised that and had to keep a horrible crime secret. It wasn’t your fault, I can see why you might not want to tell anyone but it’s him who should be ashamed not you.

48harv · 21/01/2018 19:55

I shouldn’t have said that.

48harv · 21/01/2018 19:53

Men now but I never had a woman , yes I had girlfriends but never sexually active, and as a man I couldn’t entertain that type of contact,. If I can tell you something that I have kept secret for 51 years I was working in a kitchen doing split shifts 9-2 4-9 and a work colleague invited me to his flat to play cards for a couple of hour, it was a ruse to get me to his flat he tried to rape me but failed to penetrate my rectum, I was terrified and when we were alone again he beat me to a pulp to remind me not to say anything about it, I never did till now,
Why should I say it now I have no idea. And to women I have never met, even the psychiatrists don’t know.

QuentinSummers · 21/01/2018 19:46

Ugh gross harv what a pig. Doesn't sound like much of a friend.

Deadlylampshade · 21/01/2018 19:44

Well that answered that question lol

48harv · 21/01/2018 19:43

I had a friend stay with me about a month after my first op and he asked me if I wanted sex with him, I declined as I was still very sore , his reply was he would be happy to do it up my bum 10 minutes later he was out the door.

Deadlylampshade · 21/01/2018 19:41

I’m going to ask an extremely rude question and please feel free to tell me to mind my own business but are you attracted to men or women harv?

48harv · 21/01/2018 19:39

Speaking for myself I used to go out from a late teenager in feminine attire yes I thought I passed as a woman, but it was never enough , when I left hospital after my first op I was on cloud nine I felt free and yes I was floating on air then I am being honest here, I felt feminine and complete . Hope you see the change of name was only the first part of many hurdles .

QuentinSummers · 21/01/2018 19:37

Just googled her, rest in peace Mylee, looks like a family annihilator and we are meant to be sympathetic that her father (who is believed to have stabbed her) is in hospital "fighting for his life".
Poor baby girl Sad

Deadlylampshade · 21/01/2018 19:34

Travis also started a crowd finder because he believes he should get free taxis everywhere because of all the attention he gets walking around the streets.

Deadlylampshade · 21/01/2018 19:31

greyhound I read that as you not hanging out with lesbians out of choice 😂

48harv · 21/01/2018 19:31

Poor Mylee Bellingham murdered at the age of 8 this is insanity gone mad, 😢💐💔a little life snuffed out

Italiangreyhound · 21/01/2018 19:28

Me thinks Travis might have fancied some free publicity! Performance art, anyone?

Italiangreyhound · 21/01/2018 19:27

@Deadlylampshade I agree, I absolutely do not think anyone should have surgery they do not want or need. I know for some people it is actually impossible due to potential complications.

I sense that there are significant levels to 'gender' in relation to how it relates to sex. A bit like wearing name up or having long hair doesn't make you femake etc and females don't need to have it so it's not necessarily a 'female' thing.

However, because trans women want to be perceived to be female they want the things that identify with it.

Some who feel more comfortable in their skin might then change it. 'Gender' hasn't changed but it's significance for the person has.

I'm not talking about the modern concept of trans gender but more what transsexuals may feel.

I'm trying to understand it from that perspective. I may be utterly wrong of course!

"However if a trans person keeps their penis they can’t be surprised if lesbians don’t want to sleep with them, "

I also wonder how we got from 'keep your legs crossed' or 'Think of England' or Jackie magazine 'If he loves you, he will wait' to anyone being expected to sleep with anyone else because one of the two people wants it!

I don't understand how women now need a reason not to sleep with anyone. But as well as not being trans I am also not a lesbian so I don't probably understand how much 'lesbian culture' (if it still exists) has been affected by 'trans culture'.

My one experience of hanging out with lesbians was a long time ago (not by choice!).

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