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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

9-year-old 'drag queen' - am I wrong or is this incredibly disturbing?

62 replies

Foxpyjamas · 11/01/2018 11:19

Hi, long-time lurker, first-time poster.

Someone posted this link on my FB this morning with a comment that made it clear he thought this was cool.

I just thought it was extremely disturbing and a clear example of a child being inappropriately sexualised. The way the article is written this point of view is presented as moralistic prudish pearl-clutching, like whatever an Alt-Right or Christian says must be completely unreasonable.

Don't get me wrong, I think the Alt-Right are wrong about almost everything but in this case I don't care who says it, those pictures are awful. Not because the boy is wearing a sparkly costume (complaining about that would indeed be ridiculous but as far as I can see that wasn't even what anyone was saying) but because of the poses, the makeup, the fact that this is a CHILD.

I feel like most progressive types would agree these days that children should be able to wear what they like free from gender stereotypes, but a child drag queen? Isn't that a completely different kettle of fish? I have always had some qualms about drag anyway (it strikes me as mocking women) but for adults it's one thing - I don't know much about it but aren't drag shows genuinely pretty sexual, like definitely in the realms of adult entertainment? But the article and my friend are muddying the issue trying to make it about the fact that there's no problem with a kid wearing a sparkly suit.

Am I crazy here?

OP posts:
SlowlyShrinking · 11/01/2018 14:53

Yes, quite, squishsquirmy

UpABitLate · 11/01/2018 14:49

google tells me that the response from LGBT press is that this is awesome.

They also seem to interpret people saying that this is all very dodgy as attacking the child. Why does that always happen? NO people are angry with the ADULTS around him. I don't get why that is redirected by saying people are attacking the child Confused

squishysquirmy · 11/01/2018 14:47

Not just possible, SlowlyShrinking but consistent.

SlowlyShrinking · 11/01/2018 14:45

It’s possible to object to little girls being sexualised in beauty pageants, and also object to little boys being sexualised in drag shows.

pisacake · 11/01/2018 14:37

It's very obviously completely inappropriate, people going to drag events expect adult content, a child shouldn't be there.

It's like a 9-year-old girl appearing in a strip show.

UpABitLate · 11/01/2018 14:23

Presumably

can't think what else it is a ref to

FannyWisdom · 11/01/2018 13:48

It doesn't even need thinking about.

There is never any reason for a 9yr old anyone to be associated with BDSM.
Never.

Is the stage name a reference to lactation?

IrkThePurist · 11/01/2018 13:34

Yanbu, that child has been sexualised. Theres nothing liberating about sexual stereotypes or the male gaze, for either sex. Its the opposite of liberation.

The company must know about that child being on social media as 'Lactacia' and it was inappropriate for them to use him as a model for childrens clothes.

I dont base my politics or feelings on what the Alt Right think. I'm an old school Socialist.

nauticant · 11/01/2018 13:25

I get the impression that the thought process of some progressives is that "what does the Alt-Right think about this?" is a preliminary to asking themselves "what do I think about this?"

Foxpyjamas · 11/01/2018 13:20

No I'm sure the Alt Right doesn't have a problem with beauty pageants for little girls. My point was more that feminists usually DO have a problem with them. I think they are dreadful.

But then you have people setting themselves up as the opposition to Alt Right, so claiming the 'progressive' side of the argument if you like, saying that this is great because the boy isn't conforming to gender norms. My position is that, boy or girl, this is equally disturbing.

My FB friend would 100% describe himself as a feminist and is quite gender non-conforming himself. I'm absolutely sure he would condemn beauty pageants for little girls. But he doesn't seem able to see the equivalence. He just sees a boy who is not dressed 'typically' for his sex and thinks that's cool, which it would be if the whole thing was age appropriate. I just think this disconnect is strange and the whole Alt Right thing is a complete red herring. Even a stopped watch is right twice a day.

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 11/01/2018 12:55

I feel the same about child beauty pageants too. But the reality is social services won't intervene if you present your 9 year old daughter this way.

UpABitLate · 11/01/2018 12:55

Link to etsy store here first pic is of a man with his hand down his glittery boxers.

This politics around this is so male, somehow. The left wing / right wing arguments, around all of it, sex, sexuality, gender, porn, prostitution, things like this with children. It's all either "liberal anything goes" or "strict gender roles for me thanks and children should be like this and this and gay is bad" type thing.

I am quite comfy rejecting both of those positions and saying, these pictures and this association with the company is OFF.

UpABitLate · 11/01/2018 12:52

I feel the same about this as pageants.

Kids dressing up is fine. However when 6yo and even 9yo do their makeup themselves they make a hash of it. The point is they are copying, usually badly, because they haven't had the practice. The poses are not great because they dont' get sex because they're kids.

With the pageants and this, it's not dress up, it's dead serious, with the adults working as hard as they can to make the kids not copy it, but be it.

No 9yo should BE a sexy drag queen. Because they're 9. They should be a fairly crap imitation of a sexy drag queen that misses the mark.

Those photos have adult male gaze (sexualised) all over them.

LangCleg · 11/01/2018 12:51

YANBU. It's a safeguarding and child protection issue. The parents should be subject to social services intervention.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 11/01/2018 12:50

I know what you mean about the poses - the resting of the hands on the 'breasts', for example. The camera angle doesn't help. In one photo I thought it was adult hands.

AssignedPuuurfectAtBirth · 11/01/2018 12:49

No I really hate these pageants too. Dressing girls up like sexualised barbie dolls is abuse imo. But tbf, I don't like that look on grown women either

BarbarianMum · 11/01/2018 12:43

^^This. I really doubt the alt-right has a problem with beauty pageants for 6 year old girls.

OlennasWimple · 11/01/2018 12:35

No child should be used to advertise a BDSM site

No BDSM site should want to use a child in their advertising

This stinks

Foxpyjamas · 11/01/2018 12:25

I have absolutely no problem with the glittery outfit. A lot of children like sparkly things, nothing wrong with it at all. I don't think anybody really has an issue with the sequins here. I also don't have an issue with kids messing about with makeup in a playing / dressing up kind of way, but that kind of makeup I think goes over the line.

Really it's the poses that get me. Even if he wasn't advertising a BDSM site (which is awful in and of itself), those poses are clearly mimicking adult 'sexy' poses in a way that really creeps me out on a child. I think if those poses were from a little girl modelling children's clothes (so removing all other 'contentious' issues) it would be very obviously inappropriate to the liberal right-on crowd, who do generally recognise the problem of sexualising children in advertising. But because it's a boy not conforming to gender norms (which on its own is a cool thing, I absolutely agree) apparently it's OK? Not in my opinion.

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AssignedPuuurfectAtBirth · 11/01/2018 12:05

It's fucking awful. I couldn't finish that vid and I have to scroll past it on twitter.

Poor kid. It's obscene. I would hit this kid's parents on the head repeatedly with a blunt instrument

MissBax · 11/01/2018 11:50

Ahh I missed that too!

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 11/01/2018 11:47

Woah, hang on. He's advertising a BDSM site? I missed that

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 11/01/2018 11:45

The world finds it acceptable to make up little girls, flaunt them, have them in pagents, make adult clothing for them, go on about their beauty. So, all things being equal, they should feel the same about this.

I don't agree with the whole pagent thing etc but I do see this as different, I suppose, but I'm not sure why

So, not really sure of my view and if it's something he genuinely wants to do and not because he's been encouraged to be 'beautiful' (I think that's the difference) I don't see a problem.

Whatever, he does look incredible!

WhatInTheWorldIsGoingOn · 11/01/2018 11:38

How is this ok? He’s advertising an erotic BDSM site! He’s 9.

WhatInTheWorldIsGoingOn · 11/01/2018 11:36

I think if they dressed a little girl like that’s and posed her as an advert for a BDSM site people would have something to say about. Unfortunately, instead, they are falling over themselves to be progressive and oh so cool.