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Original poster

Miniscule acts of vindictiveness - a sign of female inventiveness, or powerlessness?

62 replies

LaContessaDiPlump · 30/12/2017 07:25

Inspired by the amazing miniscule acts of vindictiveness thread Grin

clicky link

I couldn't help but notice that most of the posters were female, and there were very few 'A male I know did such-and-such' posts. So are minor acts of vindictiveness peculiarly female, or are they the kind of thing people do when they feel powerless to do much else? If the latter, are they more likely to be committed by women than men? Or is it all just harmless fun that I'm over-thinking? Seems a bit odd if it's the kind of harmless fun only women indulge in, to my mind; also, I think that the sort of behaviour detailed in the linked thread could go very very sour if continued when real bad feeling exists - just look at the Twits!

This is a sort of light-hearted thread (can we have those in Feminism?), but interested to hear thoughts.

OP posts:
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Trichyyy · 03/01/2018 23:32

💩

MrsTerryPratchett · 03/01/2018 22:02

And multiple emojis are just what Oscar Wilde would have used.

RespoDad · 03/01/2018 21:57

You're all dullards. HTH 👅😘😜

killforcarrots · 03/01/2018 21:44

There is a whole reddit forum dedicated to this sort of thing called "Petty Revenge";

www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/

Xenophile · 01/01/2018 21:34

It's a toughie, isn't it MrsTP

Thank goodness we have a manly man to come along as tell us we're all dullards. Saves any of us having to think.

ItsInTheDogsMouth · 01/01/2018 10:26

As someone who has, on occasion enacted a petty act of vindictiveness, it has been because i have felt largely powerless. (Not wishing to voice my 'complaint' due to the week long sulk it would cause). Interestingly since i have had some counselling, and my self worth has improved, i rarely indulge in 'petty acts' and am better at dealing with issues.

FlaviaAlbia · 01/01/2018 10:05

MrsTP Grin

SparkleFizz · 01/01/2018 00:59

Like the woman who unplugs her husband’s phone every night and then plugs it back in before he gets up

I do this Blush
Because I worry about the charger overheating and setting the house on fire as we sleep Blush
I don’t always remember to mention it to DH either, although it’s never occurred to me to lie about it if DH’s phone not being fully charged has come up in conversation.

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/01/2018 00:20

Sorry are feminists taking things too seriously that affect men (because we're humourless harridans) or not seriously enough (because we're man-hating feminazis)? I get confused.

RespoDad · 31/12/2017 22:45

I rest my case, my lady.

Xenophile · 31/12/2017 22:10

ODFOD Respo, there's a dear.

RespoDad · 31/12/2017 21:21

And the Fun Police make their arrests.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 31/12/2017 18:00

There were a couple verging on brain dead they were so stupid involving boiling the kettle and then pouring the hot water out.

SophoclesTheFox · 31/12/2017 17:23

Got to admit, I posted on it lol-ing because of the first few posts, particulalry thing about switching the wifi off when the husband settles in for a good long session on the loo with the ipad, which tickled me because I quite fancied trying it to see how long my husband would stay in there if there was no entertainment to be had...

But then it went from "harmless pranks" to "really quite disturbing" and I quite wanted my lol-ing removed because it wasn't actually funny any more.

thatstoast · 31/12/2017 14:55

Reminds me of Gone Girl when Amy spits in the drink of someone who says something mean about her. Obviously it's the thin end of the wedge in her case.

Maryz · 31/12/2017 14:44

I do like the deletion message. I know people will think that anyone who reported has had a soh failure, but "feeling uncomfortable" describes it well.

Original poster
LaContessaDiPlump · 31/12/2017 14:13

Damn. Didn't realise it had gone! Oh well!

The night time suppository was the bit that pushed it over the edge for me. Small things like revenge on shitty flatmates (prawns/pork chops left to rot and the like) were amusing to read though, I thought, as they focused punishment on the obviously deserving. Hard to tell most of the time, though....

OP posts:
Xenophile · 31/12/2017 14:03

My first partner did ridiculously petty stuff all day. He would take the babies things out of the steriliser, empty bottles of milk I'd made up, put nappies in stupid places and then yell at me for putting them there, move my bookmark so I took a while to find my place in my precious minutes of being able to read.

It was part of his abuse of me. It wasn't funny or something to post about proudly, it was just horrible.

BIWI · 31/12/2017 13:51

Well it's been deleted now.

Wh0KnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 31/12/2017 10:59

Agree about the unplugging the phone charger example. Done once, with a “gotcha!” after the other person has spent 5 mins puzzling over how it could have happened is one thing, doing it regularly and never owning up is a lot more disturbing.

MrsTerryPratchett · 31/12/2017 01:28

It reminded me of something a communication expert told me. That older women were often selfless and expected to give up all their power for their families and others generally. As this became untenable for some of them, they became passive aggressive. Older women are often accused of being passive aggressive and I wonder if this route is partially why.

It helps me understand my aunt, who is frequently awful. But she was a girl in a very large family in a very poor area and had to fight for what she had but couldn't be seen to fight.

If anyone is in a relationship where they do small, nasty things to their partner on a regular basis, to 'get back' at them, yeah, leave.

splendide · 30/12/2017 21:23

I found that thread quite disturbing. It was actually some of the more innocuous things that seemed odd to me. Like the woman who unplugs her husband’s phone every night and then plugs it back in before he gets up. I can’t imagine staying married to someone who I disliked enough to bother to do this.

It made me really sad for her.

CeeBeeBee · 30/12/2017 21:12

I started reading the thread thinking they were just amusing tales of revenge on nasty exes or colleagues, but some of them were becoming increasingly more disturbing and what I would call gaslighting. I cannot understand how some posters can go through the effort to do something so horrible on those they’re still married to.

Aridane · 30/12/2017 19:23

I thought a lot,of,that thread was quite dispiriting and grim

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 30/12/2017 19:14

Maybe that should read, women may feel less able to be assertive...