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'Got herself pregnant' - WIBU?

33 replies

WashingMatilda · 26/12/2017 12:25

A man said this to me today at work about his stepdaughter.
I very quickly answered
'You can't get yourself pregnant, just want to say that', kind of light hearted and laughing slightly but quite clearly being serious as well IYSWIM.

When we left and I asked my male colleague if I was being unreasonable in pointing it out he said he didn't see the big deal and it's 'Just something people say'

I just feel like it's said to put all the blame on women, like they're prowling around waiting for innocent men to impregnate them, with no input at all from a man.

But now I feel like IABU??

OP posts:
UpABitLate · 26/12/2017 12:56

I don't think "she's pregnant" is that neutral

the "nice" way to say it is "she's having a baby"

It occurs to me that "pregnant" is itself a bit of a loaded / "impolite" word

UpABitLate · 26/12/2017 12:54

What is said to men who have unintentionally made a woman pregnant?

He's gone and knocked X up / He's gone and knocked (nasty words for women who have sex) up

The woman is still in the picture as well as the man, whereas the other way round the man is completely inivisibleised

Fishfingersandwichnocheese · 26/12/2017 12:43

The only situation I’ve really said this in was a family member - male - who managed to conceive twins with someone he barely knew.

I did judge. I judged even more when he refused to have anything to do with them.

Fishfingersandwichnocheese · 26/12/2017 12:42

To a man I would say he got her pregnant ?

I don’t know how I feel about this. If you don’t want a baby it is YOUR responsibility to avoid it. No matter what your partner says and does. For both men and women.

Saying that I’ve never said a woman “got themselves” pregnant. More like let him get her pregnant or Lee herself get pregnant.

Popchyk · 26/12/2017 12:40

Daft, isn't it?

The phrases "She's pregnant" or "She's going to have a baby" are neutral.

"She got herself pregnant" is loaded with judgement of either deliberately trying to ensnare some hapless bloke and/or being too stupid to take contraception reliably. It also seems to be code for the father not going to be involved, which of course is her fault, not his.

irretating · 26/12/2017 12:39

What is said to men who have unintentionally made a woman pregnant? Mind is drawing a blank.

MorningstarMoon · 26/12/2017 12:38

I've heard this saying from the older generation. It's not meant literal like she got herself pregnant it's meant in a way that states she's gone and got pregnant that's all.

UpABitLate · 26/12/2017 12:31

Saying women / girls "get themselves pregnant" is ridiculous, obviously.

It's only used when the person saying it disapproves of the pregnancy for whatever reason. Otherwise it's "so and so is having a baby" or "x and y are having a baby". Which is also weird as it shows that using the word pregnant in this context is supposed to be offensive/not nice somehow.... I guess saying someone is pregnant makes it about them, but saying someone is having a baby makes it about a baby?

Anyway you weren't being unreasonable.