'Got herself pregnant' - WIBU?

Though on reflection, I suppose she could get herself un-pregnant, ie have a termination, but that's also an opinion on someone's pregnancy very much best kept to one's self.

I think I'd suggest that his opinion wasn't conveyed, greentulips.

It's not like she can un-get herself pregnant, is it? His disapproval is irrelevant.

He obviously disapproves of the way in which the baby was conceived/future of the relationship

How else would you suggest this is conveyed?

Me too Barrack. I still think about tiktok when I think about my BFing days. Thanks love.

On the subject of pregnancy... It is very political. Because we wrap it in sentimentality (and there's a lot of lovely emotions in there as well) we forget a few things. How dangerous it is. I mean people that are anti-abortion seem to forget that women die in childbirth and many more are permanently physically disabled by it. All the "we're pregnant" people also forget that. It takes two people. If you try to argue that men are equally responsible for contraception and disease prevention on here there's a collective People seem convinced that women go around trying to get pregnant 'accidentally' but forget the amount of coercive control pregnancies there are.

Why did you ask the colleague (was it the same one that said that about the SD?) if you were unreasonable?

As a complete aside, I cannot tell you how tickled pink I am to see tiktok pop up on feminism threads. Absolute hero of mine from a decade hence on the feeding boards.
I keep gleefully squeaking when I see her over ere.

As you were :-)

x-post, marklah! Glad I'm not the only one who thinks that.

Her status was therefore like Eve's before the Fall.

An interesting one that leads me onto one of my pet hates - the phrase "falling pregnant". I'm not sure where the origin of the phrase comes from, but I always wondered if it was referencing the Fall. To me it has kind of horrid overtones of a fall from grace, being a "fallen woman", a woman becoming something lesser because she's pregnant. And again, like it's something that happened to her, not something that she's an active participant in!

And yes, "got herself pregnant" is horrid. I've also reflexively said "What, all by herself?" and it's gone down like a cup of cold sick

Agree that " Got herself pregnant" has judgemental connotations, as does "knocked up". I loathe "fell pregnant" too - perhaps the word 'fall' sounds negative to me - like implying a pure, innocent woman has fallen from that virginal status and is now pregnant.
Maybe it's my upbringing, but that is how all those terms sounded. Unmarried women " got themselves pregnant" or had "fallen pregnant". Married women were "going to have a baby."
Men who "put it about" might have "knocked up" a woman. Women who " put it about" were "loose" or "no better than they should be".

When I was pregnant with DD, I just said I was pregnant, until she was delivered. As an older parent, I was aware of the risks, and if someone said "oh, you're having a baby?" my standard answer was, "Hopefully."

I know a lot of people will attribute the terms/language used to 'small talk', but to me, all these snippets of 'small talk' build up into a larger picture; one where women are somehow inferior. If nobody ever challenges it, these things become the norm.

UpABitLate, as someone who has had several miscarriages I far prefer "pregnant" (factually correct) to "having a baby" (not necessarily, other outcomes of pregnancy are possible).

And as it is now Dogma it must be true because of Papal infallibility.

Quentin, yes. You might get the far end of the Anglican spectrum believing it, too, but it was (is?) part of basic Roman Catholic stuff.

Yes it is a Catholic belief. It was incorporated into Dogma fairly recently but had been debated for centuries. This is fascinating in a how many angels can dance on a pin head way.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immaculate_Conception?wprov=sfla1

Like tiktok I am an atheist too - it is just a fact one picks up.

i think i would have replied with "what? by herself?"

I am not religious so I don't know. Always thought the immaculate conception referred to Jesus. So is the immaculate conception a Catholic belief?

The theory is Mary had human 2 parents who created her in the normal way but at the point of conception god stepped in to free her from any taint of original sin. ( I have no idea how that worked)

Her status was therefore like Eve's before the Fall.

Jesus was incarnated not conceived.

Pedant alert: the Immaculate conception is not the virgin birth. The immaculate conception is the conception of Mary herself, the only human to be conceived without the stain of original sin. Catholics lapsed or otherwise will confirm this with me :)

I mean, I'm an atheist and I couldn't care less, but I like to get the mythology right!

YANBU it's a ridiculous phrase. Always makes me think of the immaculate conception (and come to think of it that phrase is quite misogynistic too. Conception with none of that unladylike sex shenanigans is immaculate!)

What was the context?

Tbh I can imagine if I had a daughter about to start university or a fantastic new job who unexpectedly and inconveniently became pregnant saying in exasperation something like well would you believe it she's just gone and got herself pregnant.

YY breeding is incredibly dehumanising.

The word "breeder" is usually applied to women as well which adds an extra something.

People breed animals. The ones who use this term pretend it's "factual".

"She got herself pregnant" is loaded with judgement of either deliberately trying to ensnare some hapless bloke and/or being too stupid to take contraception reliably. It also seems to be code for the father not going to be involved, which of course is her fault, not his

Yup, term is loaded with judgement.

Another along the same lines that I really really hate is when people are discussing people who are not well off and suddenly having a baby becomes 'breeding'.

I wonder if it's to do with women's natural biological functions being considered rather disgusting.

Or to do with it being more directly linked to the act of sex which also historically is insulting for women - we're not supposed to do sex / like sex / want sex etc

There are likely going to be regional variations in use of language as well

I have heard got herself pregnant and he's knocked her up quite a lot.

Why do you think the word pregnant is loaded or impolite, Up?

Because the woman may still choose to terminate the pregnancy, is that it?

I suppose "She's having a baby" conveys the intention to continue with the pregnancy. Although those words aren't quite right either. "She's having a baby" could mean she is delivering a baby imminently.