Things men have called me and why.

This was a random stranger in a pub by the way. Not an acquaintance or someone I knew!

I've been called a miserable bitch because I didn't want to discuss the colour of my pubes with a much older man (I was 18, he was about 60, so relevant) and asked him whether he was expecting purple feathers??? He found my reply rude and decided I didn't have a sense of humour.

Oh tell me. I grew up thinking I was horrifically unattractive because I had a bigger bum than my flat mate and was casually referred to as 'broad across the beam' in front of me as if I was a prize heifer.

I was also frequently told that gingers smelt bad and no boys would be seen dead with ginger girls

Dd's friend's "crime"? She believes it's because she was dressed boyishly/manly! Attacker was calling her a freak.

@Bubbaleo I have had the same in tally, Greece and Malta. Also from aged 14

DD (adult) has recently had an american friend staying over. She said this kind of behaviour from men is even worse in the states and she has even been followed into the ladies toilet and beaten up by a man!! Baltimore area, I believe.

We've started something now, Resting Different areas/countries? I remember being on holiday in Italy, aged 14, with my parents. Every single day I had my bum pinched by (I assume) Italian men. This didn't happen in uk until I was in my 20's and then only a couple of times, standing in a crowd at a rugby match and once in a packed disco. In Italy, it was a regular thing and at such a young age!

Resting, I haven’t heard any women using the word slut etc. Thank god.

The cat-calling and verbal abuse I’ve had has been in western Canada and the south of England (both places I’ve lived). For what it’s worth the English guys at least started out trying to be polite/flirty (though I’d rather they just let me pass by without remark). It’s gotten better, but when I was young canadian men tended to start with abuse. I think they’ve gotten somewhat better and I’ve gotten older.

I must add that even at the age of 48, I still get belittling, aggressive and s xuakised heckling when I do my job, and not once has it been instigated by a woman. Lots of men have felt it their duty to challenge my authority in my role (client facing, hospitality/events) - I'm the queen of comebacks but god it's boring. And tiring because I still have to smile sweetly and not tell the dickheads to fuck off!!!

Teen girls report to me that these are the things their fathers, brothers, and boyfriends, call them whenever they are disagreeable. That is in addition to adult men catcalling them if they walk down the street. Strange men go from hi beautiful to effing bitch in three seconds flat if the children ignore them.

Where do we find these men? No we don’t go looking for them they’re everywhere looking for us. They don’t need to hide as public spaces are pretty safe for them in regards to unwanted attention.

I’m 36, thankfully I don’t get nearly as much abuse as when I was a teenager/20’s - thanks to my trusty RestingBitchFace. Places I’ve had unwanted and unprovoked comments said/shouted at me includes but not limited to: public transport, walking through a park/town/to and from school/on any random pavement, public swimming pool (in the pool and in the group showers), many many pubs/night clubs, shopping centres, at work, walking home after a public bonfire display, outside a hospital waiting to be picked up by my FIL after a physio appointment, after I (legally and considerately) parked up to pick up my DC from school, supermarket car parks with toddler DC, fun day out on the beach promenade with my DC.

Oh and that list doesn’t include the racist shit I’ve had directed at me which when thinking about it I’d say was 90%+ from adult men - even when I was a small child.

Bearing your question in mind, if I wanted to limit being harassed by strange men, given my list above would leave me housebound (insert misogynistic joke about kitchens and a ‘woman’s place’).

Well I beg to differ, like I have said, none of the men I have ever known have ever used such words in my presence, perhaps they may make similar jokes amongst themselves (I don't say suck things in front of men either to be fair). I couldn't even imagine my male friends saying such things. Perhaps it's a case of one bad apple spoiling the whole barrel? At any rate there is no doubt in my mind that many women pick it up from other women.

But the thing that I really don't understand-I've never had this. I've been cat called/hit on a plenty but I've never experienced anything even remotely like this. The closest thing I have experienced was a fellow calling out in frustration "what? So you are not even going to talk to me?!" After I ignored cat calling. I just wondered whether this was a problem that was isolated to certain areas/countries, time of day etc. Perhaps I have just been very lucky? Cat callers, random approaches etc. while incredibly rude in themselves, the content of their comments has never been impolite-"hi beautiful", "I like your coat", "Why are you hiding your beautiful face under that hat?" And the like. It just seems like I live in a very different world to pps. While I could understand insularity of some social circles I just find it strange that we can walk the same streets and yet get treated so differently. There is nothing outwardly different in my appearance than any other woman. I am fairly average in the way I dress, walk, racially ambiguous etc. It's not like I am walking around with a machine gun or I look just like Kate Middleton/other well known public figure that one probably wouldn't say such things to if so poorly mannered. There is nothing about me that commands any more or less respect than the average young woman. It's quite unnacoubtable.

Bitch
Slut
Whore
Ginger minge
Gingers stink
Pricktease

Probably the worst wax when I was about six or seven out with my nan and the lollipop man chucked me on the cheek and said "oooh if only I were 20 years younger..."

I've had my arse slapped, my boobs grabbed and pinched and been called an ugly old troll.

Random strangers, in fact!

Resting, I still think they pick it up from men (brothers and their mates, etc) The severity of some of the comments described by other posters, I, like you, have not encountered, thank goodness. But a lot of them seem to be from random men, out and about.

@bubbaleo I didn't pick it up from men (obviously), I picked it up from school mates who were exclusively female and have sibce heard other women use such phrases occasionally although I cannot account for where they picked them up (but given that we all have similar social circles I doubt that they regularly come into contact with men who use this kind of language). At any rate it is quite different for a woman to make such jokes.

It is very much outside of my experience for men to say such things to women, I was merely expressing surprise that so many other posters had managed to come across such men. I am genuinely curious as to where they are all hiding (purely for the sake of being able to continue avoiding them, I have no interest in mixing with such men).

Resting, they pick that up from men.

Don't you get tired of it, zzzzz? For myself, I'm pissed off that I can't enjoy being slim. I should feel better about myself (healthier, more comfortable, clothes fit better, etc) but I just can't enjoy it! I feel vulnerable, which is sad, isn't it? This isn't my problem, this is the way men look and speak differently to me just because I'm slimmer. I actually feel safer when I'm a lot overweight, which is so bloody wrong.

Where do you find these men

The only time I have heard people use these words in real life has been teenaged girls/women using them in a jokey way. He's my favourite whore, I'm a bit of slut where it comes to donuts, this is my best slut dress etc.

zzzzz Is it possible that ALL men think like this but don't speak it. My dh (posted about him up thread) thought comments (mild comments anyway) were a compliment. He changed after a good long talk and he's a kind, caring dh and father. But......even now, years later he says things which make me think hmmm? ie: he sometimes describes women (say, a neighbour for example) by her looks rather than hair colour, etc. Such as "you know, that attractive lady across the road" Instead of "that tall lady with dark hair, from across the road". I wonder (and I do ask him) why describe the neighbour by the strength of her looks? If the neighbour was a man, he wouldn't describe him by looks, he would say "that tall, dark haired bloke across the road". When asked, dh doesn't even know why. Therefore, it must be ingrained from somewhere at an early age. But from where?

So many instances, this is but a small selection:

Stupid bitch - so very many times, usually traffic related, as a driver, as a pedestrian, always when following the rules of the road.

Poisonous bitch - ex, he was very big on using the word poison. Generally when I was expressing polite frustration about him drinking all the food money, not helping with the kids, etc

“I wanna fuck you” - various drunks, when I’ve been walking around town in broad daylight.

Stupid bloody cow - again, the ex

Fucking bitch - manager of a block of flats when I was happily jumping over the painted lines in his car park. No idea why that set him off.

Lots of (when younger) loud comments of “cor, look at the tits on her” offered to crowds of embarrassed passers by. I’m thin and curvy and a beacon to ignorant arseholes.

This there can’t, no, when the ultimate goal is to silence women into “just taking it”. Not gonna happen.

Can't there be one fucking thread where people can share their experiences without antagonistic posters cropping up to defend the identity of the perpetrators?!

All Muslims are not men!