Things men have called me and why.

Sorry again forgot to say first creep client kept calling me lazy and that I thought I was better than I was for refusing. And the second creep client called me icy for refusing to dance with him. I’m sure if it wasn’t in an office environment with the dynamics it had they wouldn’t have been so restraint.

Forgot to say this was a respectable marketing firm I was working for.

Jeez another one I forgot, another client old enough to be my grandad came to the office, the M.D. (they were best pals) showed him around, I was busy at my desk, I can’t remember how the conversation started but the client started saying he’d love to have a dance with me in the office, like now! Just a little waltz, come on, play along. My colleagues and I’s faces were like to the point where the M.D. must have realised how inappropriate the client was being made some joke/excuse and diverted him away from our office. And no I’m not some great beauty, and I can’t believe I’m having to do this but I was dressed reservedly for work - not that that should fucking matter. I did work in a male dominated industry though - maybe the sight of anything remotely female and some poor men become slaves to their hormones..

@ShoesHaveSouls spot on, the men who don’t do this don’t have a clue how bad it is for women. Of that list I gave upthread only a few times was it in the presence of my DH - funny that. Although there was a memorable and deeply unpleasant client of my colleague that used to come to my old workplace who’s behaviour shocked my all male colleagues. He’d insist I’d make him a coffee despite the colleague he was seeing telling him no she’s busy, we make our own/clients coffees here. My colleague used to even make his drink ready for him in an effort to thwart him and it would be sat on the desk and creep client still would insist he wanted ME to make his drink. He’d openly sit and leer at me, make sexist jokes, etc to the point where if he was due in the office my colleague would tip me off and I’d go move to a closed office until he’d gone (apparently when this happened the client used to creep them out with tales of his sexcapades, how hot his gf is, where they’d last has sex and where). All of my male colleagues couldn’t believe that some men acted like this, like ok they’d seen men in the street harassing women but in the workplace by somebody who’s a ‘professional’. I think me being there and seeing some of the crap I received really opened their eyes. And yes words were said by me and the rest of the team to the M.D. who basically said put up and shut up - we can’t afford to complain and lose clients.

Asmen, why are you speaking for other posters? I didn't want zzzzz to leave the thread, I never said she wasn't welcome and neither has any one else. Do you realise your comments are as nasty, bullish and sexist as some of the men described. Clearly you've suffered at the hands of men, we all have, but we don't all turn into raving lunatics chucking people of threads. Get a fucking grip!

It is really annoying when people do the NAMALT thing.

It is as if none of us have ever met a decent man but thankfully they are here to let us know that not all men are like that.

Sadly a fuckwad of them are.

It is really annoying when people do the NAMALT thing.

NAMALT - but the majority of men do seem to either accept it (laugh along with it) or just have no idea how prevalent it is.

I think the average bloke, who wouldn't dream of harassing women they don't know, or calling any woman a slut or a whore, has no idea the amount of harassment and abuse their wives, mothers, sisters, daughters get, and just have to accept as part of life. Probably because it doesn't happen when they're with us.

Ooops missed this bit out
"Men like nothing better than women" who are not interested in them, that is why men rape them, for a victory.
It's a win to rapists, a triumph, smashing down the self confidence and self esteem of women and girls.

And all the verbal abuse women and girls suffer is all part of the very same thing and never forget that.

@zzzzz

So maybe you think men who watch porn and avidly watch women being sexually abused and demeaned are not the very same men who sexually abuse and demean women out on the streets.

Pornography. no thanks.

Men demand to see women demeaned and degraded because it makes men feel all good about themselves, smug & self satisfied.
That's why they call women whores & sluts, it's related to the very same thing, male vanity, an apartheid & their fantasy women are less than men, it's sexually a turn on for men to demolish the image of women & girls.

This is what it is all about, it's a bout a hatred, it's about getting a victory., it's about thinking you, because you are born male are superior and you have some god given right to abuse those you see as your inferior.
Men like nothing better than women.

Your comment "not all men"
is about as welcome as a black person, who prompts a group of black people on a thread discussing racism and being told
"hey remember not all white people, folks, dont you dare generalise and besmirch the good name of white people"

Get off this thread, you ain't welcome and men don't need defending or their collective oppression and it's irrelevant if it is not all men or not all white people, or not all Nazi's, it's enough there are so many who are oppressive to justify criticising them all.

You add zero to the conversation.. zero.

AsMen, I find your posts offensive but so sad. You genuinely don't know any men who are not sexually aroused by watching women being sexually abused? WTAF

Not wanting men to take part (and again, OP hasn't stated that) is further enabling the idea that women not only rant (because I know that's how we'll be perceived) but they also can't help but argue amongst themselves. I, for one, would like to share my experiences and hear what men have to say. If that's ok with you lot?!

@zzzzz

This thread is about females who have suffered abuse at the hands of men, not those who haven't.
So why are you on here screaming "not all men"?

Cos in your case "not all women" eh? suffer the same abuse.
But you are the exception to the rule.

"What would men do if they were totally free to do whatever they wanted to do?"

Stop attacking women eh?
Stop demanding a supply of porn where women are sexually degraded for men's own personal amusement?

When men find out that most women in porn and prostitution are first sexually abused when they are children and groomed by men for other men to abuse later in their lives, that knowledge is not a thing that turns men off
but it excites men even more..

You don't mention men avidly watch women being sexually abused and demand to see that because it's sexually arousing for them to watch women suffer, do you?

Aw! men have needs they tell us, special needs, and one of those needs just happens to be a desire to observe women being sexually abused, degraded and exploited.
Now you are going to scream.. "oh wait der, not all men"

I don't know any men who are not sexually aroused watching women being sexually abused and all the men I know demand that abuse continues and even the ones I don't know, demand it to.

In defence of men there isn't any!

Well, I also disagree with the way that one poster has phrased it.

For someone who doesn’t like generalisations, you surely did generalise that one poster to the whole of the thread...

Ok, in the event that a man does come into the thread and doesn’t NAMALT, ask for praise, tell is we’re over reacting and it’s just a complement, for goodness sake! then they’re more than welcome as far as i’m concerned.

I’ll wait over here

To the posters who don't want men on this thread, Firstly, this is OP's thread and she hasn't said this. Secondly, I want men to post on here and Yes, I want to know how they feel about all this shit and what are they going to do/say about it, if anything? Imagine Daily Fail reporting there's a bunch of women on MN ranting about men (because that's how it will be seen) and they won't even allow men to take part? Further enabling the bad apples.

o basically you only want to talk to people with the same opinions as yourself or “the enemy” so you can give them a good verbal kicking?

If the man who called me a fucking cunt in the street last week because I got in his way happens to pop by to this thread, I think a good verbal kicking would be a pretty proportionate retaliation, don’t you?

Decent men don’t need your defence of them because they don’t do this. Not-decent men, who are the ones doing this don’t deserve your defence because their behaviour is shitty. So who is it that you’re sticking up for?

There was a thread on here recently about casual relationships started by a woman who wanted to say it was slutty and lots of other fellow women joined in the slut shaming.

Cunt is a favourite word on here to describe another woman

But is that because they are behaving badly, like a cunt, or because MN users think women are a nice piece of cunt? Massive difference.

So basically you only want to talk to people with the same opinions as yourself or “the enemy” so you can give them a good verbal kicking

You think this thread is being read by all the men who do this sort of thing? You think MN is where they hang out?

Why are you so against women talking about their experiences?

And I’m afraid that questions like that are very close to ideas about there being places where women should expect to be harassed (with the extension of that being that they should not complain about it if they object to the harassment)

Ha ha. No, my question was nothing like that.

No that's not it at all zzzz
Just talking about how not all men are like that or men popping on to tell us they aren't like that adds precisely 0.
In some cases it's almost like a bunch of women discussing this is threatening and we need closing down. Why can't women talk about this?