Things men have called me and why.

If you had been born a couple of centuries earlier you wouldn't be so dismissive of feminism and what it strives for.

Honey I’m not dismissive of feminism in the slightest. I bloody love it.

But I think you see things in black and white and that actually obfuscates the fact that misogyny is actually a lot more complex than anti-semitism.

Oh yes it is pertinent
“things men have called me and why”

because men on a power trip
get sexually excited, observing women & girls suffer

This is central to every rape & every other crime
they have ever committed against women and girls.
It's all related.
From religion, to politics to men keeping women out of the boardrooms and expecting to see women with their breasts hanging out in newspapers to leer at, cos it's all a sport to men.

Men have special needs they tell us and are a special needs case.

No, Nazism is not pertinent to a thread titled “things men have called me and why”, asmen.

"Nazis actively joined an organisation dedicated to the eradication of the Jews. A completely different thing."

No, that is not true.
The people who elected the Nazi's into power were ordinary people who had a choice to either to vote for the Nazi's or the Communists.

Many German women voted for the Nazi's not because they were anti Jewish but because they were a Christian political movement where as the communists were atheists and the annihilation of the image of the Jews occurred once the Nazi's were elected.

That was not the first time that annihilating the image of a certain group occurred.
The first time happened when men did it to the female of the species and starting slaughtering them in their millions and the ones they didn't murder men cornered and caged in.

The truth is this is men's history and it's the only history they have and porn is the same annihilating of women's image as before and that is the male tradition MEN are happy to perpetuate.

Your refusal to acknowledge these pertinent facts is what is sickening and OTT.

asmen, the repeated references to nazis is doing your position no favours. I agree with ritamoreno. it's clear that you feel strongly about this, but it's coming over really OTT and handing ammunition to people who like to think feminists are ranting man haters.

@IfyouseeRitaMoreno
If you had been born a couple of centuries earlier you wouldn't be so dismissive of feminism and what it strives for.

So men now sit in their bedrooms fapping whilst watching women being sexually demeaned and degraded for men's own personal amusement, but hey! men have special need don't they?
and one of those needs just happens to be the NEED to see women being abused cos it's a turn 2 men not a turn off and men wouldn't ever want that male privilege to ever be curtailed or stopped completely.

Based on historical fact men are predators who cornered and caged women and girls in and you know just because laws alter does not mean men do and they certainly haven't.

"Nazis actively joined an organisation dedicated to the eradication of the Jews. A completely different thing."

The Nazi's did not say to the Jews
"You will not live here"
The Nazi's actually said to the Jews
"You will not live."

So what are you disputing about my impression of men and men's history of abuse of the female sex that is still continuing today unabated?

I don't know. I guess as men they grow up being told they are expected to do the asking. And we as young women are expected to wait to be asked. It's daunting, I imagine, putting yourself on the line all the time and risking being turned down. Basically being told 'no thanks' means you aren't good enough and at a very visceral level is emasculating?

Perhaps guys with low self esteem work themselves up into a state over it and are angry at a system where they have to risk humiliation and rejection every time they ask for a dance or a kiss or a date. Maybe at some deep level many men struggle with that, even if they seem very confident and laddish on the outside.

Astrid, it’s astonishing how some men completely turn on you, going from “you’re lovely etc” to “bitch, slut etc” when you say no.

Just why?

You have to hope so Bubbaleo or there is no hope is there? He was young, hopefully he's mellowed and become less of a knob.

Astrid, it's the vitriol isn'it, it's shocking. He actually went to the trouble of trying to disguise where the card came from and then writing a nasty message. Bitter, nasty and twisted. Why? I mean, we all have rebuttals at some time in our lives, but we don't become nasty, vitriolic. Wonder if he regrets it now?

Anyway my one was (well one instance of several similar really) was being called a slag and a slut by a man who I’d rejected.

It always bemused me, confused me and pissed me off that we are called sluts by men for not sleeping with them and that admiration quickly turns to hatred and contempt if it’s not returned.

It’s like they’re trying to knock you off the pedestal that they themselves put you on.

It would be exactly the same if I was a Jewish and sharing the details of how I suffered at the hands of the Nazis.

Oh FFS don’t be so completely over the top. You sully the good name of feminism with such dramatic bollocks.

Nazis actively joined an organisation dedicated to the eradication of the Jews. A completely different thing.

If men are not doing anything to dismantle the patriarchy then they are supporting it and are as guilty as all the rest.

Also complete hyperbole. Lots of women keep the P propped up with their complicity. Mostly because they, like men, have been so brought up with societal norms many of which seem harmless on the surface, that they don’t even think patriarchy exists.

And in many ways we don’t have a classic patriarchy anyway, but something that is a legacy of one, a half-changed painful hangover of one.

Honestly OP I appreciate that your posts are always hard-hitting, to the point and see a bigger starker macro picture, but sometimes you go a tad over the top and make wonderful fodder for MRAs seeking to prove we’re all nutso.

Do reign it in a bit!

@zzzzz

As all females are victims of the patriarchy, I won't ever worry about a few men's hurt feelings.
It would be exactly the same if I was a Jewish and sharing the details of how I suffered at the hands of the Nazi's.

I just wouldn't fret about Nazi's indignation.
even if someone like you came along and told me..
"Hey not all Nazi's are bad, so don't tar them all with the same brush"

If men are not doing anything to dismantle the patriarchy then they are supporting it and are as guilty as all the rest.

When I was about 23.

Met a guy who worked in the same industry but a different company. I went on a couple of nights out with him as part of a bigger group of mutual friends.

I snogged him once but declined to take it further. He pursued me for a while after that but I just wasn't interested. I wasn't nasty about it, just politely declined and made my excuses etc.

Months later it was Christmas and I received a corporate Christmas card but with the firm's name blacked out. I knew it was from his firm because I checked the cards received by other people in my company who I knew would have received them too. It was addressed to me and sent to my office. There was an anonymous hand written message in it that said I was an ugly fat slag who should be grateful for what I could get. I opened it in front of my colleagues. It was awful.

I did nothing about it, I was young and I felt humiliated and violated. If that had happened to me now, older and wiser, I'd be straight onto his HR department and possibly the police as well. I really regret that I didn't do that at the time.

Ratinthehat, that’s dreadful, fucks sake. A friend of mine had similar - her mum said “don’t worry, your sister was ugly at your age too.”

Thanks tiktok, I shall forward that to him. He is a good person, just lacks the imagination to think what it’s like to go through life not being physically imposing. He said one time he’d never once had anyone go off on him & he’s constantly amazed at the shit I have to put up with (including non-sexual power bs from female supervisors, supervisors who do not pull that on the men).

Prick teaser - because I was a friendly sociable 19 year old but didn't want to sleep with this married, middle aged man.

Frigid - because I was a virgin (this was secondary school age)
Fat - by my husband because I now weigh quite abit more than when I got married at 22.

Oh Ratinhat, so sad to hear about the comment your dad made instead of comforting you.

I've never been called a slag or whore luckily but have been called ugly and fat by random men that it affected my perception of myself.

One of the worst was when working in a hotel a m came in who i had taken a booking from over the phone I was just out of school and pretty shy. He walks up to the desk and says I spoke to Ratinthehat on the phone to book a room. When I said yes that was me he replied while looking me up and down no she sounded good looking that's disappointing.

I walk down the road and get "ew your so ugly"

When I was about 13 a group of young men said to me I was fat and ugly while walking down the road. I told my dad in tears who said "yes you are but at least you are a nice person"

Lizzie, ask your half french friend to do a search on #balancetonporc.

It's the french equivalent hashtag of #metoo.

Sexual harassment is a huge issue in France.

Stupid guy.

@Bubbaleo
My comments are not nasty, but are blunt and straight to the point and they are certainly not sexist and I will reiterate them again for you.

The comment "not all men"

is about as welcome as a black person, who prompts a group of black people on a thread discussing racism and being told
"Hey remember not all white people, folks, don't you dare generalise and besmirch the good name of white people"

It's irrelevant if it is not all men or not all white people, or not all Nazi's, it's enough there are so many who are oppressive to justify criticising them all.

A close male friend and I were talking about sexual harassment and he said “well, I wonder a bit though, if French women have this happen? Because French women don’t feel the need to be polite, they would swear at a man who did that, or slap the man.” Male friend is 6”3,
muscular, half-French (though no contact w French side of family, so it’s all bullshit in his head).

I was agog, but know he’s a good person (just an idiot). So tried to get across the unnerving power differential when someone is bigger than you, or it comes out of left field and you are so stunned you don’t react, or you worry you could lose your job. I’m not sure I got through to him.

^My original post was in response to this statement;

“Men build up their own self esteem by smashing down women's, it's what being a man is all about.”

My comment was;

No “they” don’t and no it fucking isn’t. angry^

Men put on these public displays of male dominance every day, everywhere we go.
I am stunned that there are women who claim to have never experienced such things and men who claim it doesn't happen. Absolutely stunned.

I should, and I think men also should, take the advice that if the generalization or stereotype is based on fact, we should not redirect the conversation to the validity of the generalization; whereas if it is based on fiction or myth it seems appropriate to question it. Things like "women do it too" and "not all men" are rather like the though ending cliches that the psychologists tell us about.

The men are the ones who claim that all men watch porn. In fact they go so far as to claim that WDIT (women do it too). They need to have faith that everybody does it, just as much as they need to believe that women choose pornstitution because it is so empowering. All evidence to the contrary.
Men whose ignorance is of the willful variety allows them to come to a room full of women and declare that NAMALT.