Something potentially very important regarding sex Ed in schools

I was pleased when my children came home from school having seen the 'sex is like a cup of tea' consent video.

Great post prickly. Totally agree.

As well as consensual and mutually pleasurable, I also feel there should be mention of sex being respectful. Not sure that is precisely the word, but it is the opposite of degrading, which is what a lot of pornography is towards women. In a good sexual relationship the man is never disrespectful.

Yes definitely! Our school is quite forward-thinking but still don’t go nearly far enough when it comes to things like sexting, posting ‘sexy’ videos of yourself online, how you talk about sex etc. DD had to listen to boys in her class talk about which girls they plan to have sex with in future!
DS has come home from school telling me ‘mum did you know you can change your gender’.
Also getting changed for PE - I really don’t think Y5 & 6 children should be getting changed together - many girls are developing, wearing bras, some have started their periods.

Heard a snippet on the radio this morning but haven't had a chance to look at the details yet. Just bumping because I agree this is very important and should be got right

Yes Teen Vogue- that's it! Thanks. That's why I need to take my time - so I can find the evidence to support my view.
I know exactly what I want to say as I'm a teacher with 20 years experience - I will have to teach it. I'm glad to have the opportunity to express my views.

I think the "hey, all the cool kids are having anal these days" article was in Teen Vogue.

I'm going to reference the BMJ article about anal sex here - the salient points are that anal sex is being normalised among a young population who hold the contradictory beliefs that if young women are prepared to try it, it must be okay, and simultaneously, that they don't expect young women to enjoy it (which, no big surprise, it turns out most of them don't).

(NB, I have nothing against adults who have experienced consensual and enjoyable sex and learned about their own bodies and what they like and dislike, having as much anal sex as they like if that's what floats their boat - but I do dislike the expectation placed on teenage girls that they must engage in anal sex whether or not they enjoy it, or even if they find it painful, because porn teaches young men that it's an essential part of a man's sexual experience.)

Whoever mentioned the boys shaving pubs show - here's the link, it's a really good c4 show with a Belgian lady IIRC teaching Sex Ed in a school in UK www.channel4.com/programmes/sex-in-class . I think the interesting thing is how ingrained some of the behaviours are already even at 15. IMO we need to be starting these discussions earlier. Also agree training should be given to the teacher taking the class - too often it falls to whoever picks the short straw. Often they aren't up to date on theories and signs of abuse for example - e.g The Boyfriend Model.

As well as many things already said by PP's..

That it is perfectly normal to not have sex.

That is perfectly normal to not have sex ever, if you choose. (Even if you are not asexual, but straight or gay or whatever)

That you are not ruled by your sexual desires, and even if you desperately want sex, your brain can resist, and overrule if you want to.

Nuffaluff

That's great. - Prickly's list upthread is fantastic. Unfortunately given how influential the trans organisations are to the DfE I can see them attempting to hijack this big time.
Hopefully the issues are so serious that their influence will be marginal - as it should be. Not that that will stop them.

guardian I have started filling it out and am going to take my time.
It's a great opportunity to say what you think should be on the SRE syllabus. For example, I'm going to suggest lessons about consent and pornography for teenagers.
It also asks for relevant evidence, so I'm going to reference that awful 'young vanity fair' article about anal sex.

This is the consultation guidance which lays out the specific areas they are asking about - essential reading before answering the survey. And interestingly, Mumsnet is quoted in a number of places!

consult.education.gov.uk/life-skills/pshe-rse-call-for-evidence/supporting_documents/Sex%20and%20Relationships%20Education%20%20A%20call%20for%20evidence.pdf

Here's the link to the government site for the consultation.
It's an online document but you can save answers and return later.
I think it's really important to word answers carefully. It's open until February so maybe there's no rush to respond.

consult.education.gov.uk/life-skills/pshe-rse-call-for-evidence/

It would be nice if for once the onus for consent was directed at the one with a penis. Just once.

No man I know ever had someone actually say, DO NOT FUCKING RAPE OK. RAPE IS BAD. NO!

I was told from a young age not to allow myself into the position where I would be raped, constantly reminded throughout childhood and adolescence and teenagerdom.

None of my male peers got told not to do it.

Did Justine Greening pronounce 'vagina' incorrectly in her interview?

Oooh think I found a link:

www.stonewall.org.uk/our-work/campaigns/relationships-and-sex-education-have-your-say

Me too, Nuffaluff. The one I knew (tiny, delightful, dainty as a china doll) was forever in combat shorts, grey socks and 'boy' shoes and jumper at primary, and similarly insistent that she was a boy. She must be 17 or 18 now and appears to be just fine with being a girl.

Just to note that the Telegraph article about including transgender issues in primary sex ed has a poll attached. It's currently running at 76% against (although I think we would expect it to be higher than a similar poll run by the Guardian).

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/12/19/children-taught-transgender-issues-sex-education-lessons/

I've read several articles on this now, they all say there's a consultation on this, but don't give a link? How do I contribute to this?

And I stil think primary age trans (not GNC) children are like vegan cats; being used to virtue signal. Lots of safeguarding issues to consider.

Ten years ago I used to teach a girl aged 5 who insisted she was a boy, played football and Doctor Who, said she hated 'girls' things', as she called them. She liked having her hair short, wearing trousers, etc.
I would talk to her about how I was similar to her as a child in that I liked running about, wearing trousers, etc, but that you could be a girl and still like these things, of course.
She was well known in the school for insisting that she was a boy. I wonder what would happen to her if she was at school now and saying these things?

prickly and wtaf
I teach primary, so I wonder if it'll come in to our sex ed at some point. I'm hoping not. I expect the most likely thing is that we'll get a trans child coming to our school and then we'll have some training on it.
I talk to the children all the time about gender stereotypes, whenever it comes up.
The way things are going I am worried about an Orwellian 'brave new world ' trans ideology being pushed in schools. When I first started, we still had section 28. I couldn't believe that we basically weren't allowed to talk about being gay.
That went soon after I started thankfully. The way all political parties are largely supportive of the pink brain, blue brain nonsense - I wouldn't be surprised at all if we were expected to teach it in the future and face the consequences if we don't.
I know I sound pessimistic!

I think SRE should also cover asexuality ie reminding young people that it's perfectly OK not to want sex (this is completely and utterly different to abstinence-based SRE) - especially when the discussion is about not shaming or bullying others who want to do things differently.

(I saw a very sneery tweet a few days back along the lines of teens who say they are asexual/aromantic just need to get out and socialise - I thought that was unhelpful as well as unkind.)

We follow guidelines from our local authority and are part of a working group of several schools. As I said I'm secondary and my school is single sex so our lessons look at some aspects more than others. We've also had inset with the police, sexual and mental health services and other groups to highlight new issues we may need to cover. An example was looking at new apps that the kids may be using that we may not be familiar with (the location finder on snapchat for instance). FGM has to be covered, as does CSE.

Laudanum what trans issues would you like to see taught in Sex Ed.

Where do you stand on knowing the biological sex of a partner before consenting to sexual activity with them? How would you like to see this taught?