You can't be a feminist if

I would consider my husband a feminist - he certainly acknowledges the patriarchy, sex-based oppression and male supremacy.

Good. That makes him an ally, not a feminist. We need more of them.

I cant be a feminist because I sometimes wax my pubes off but I MUST be a feminist because I wear massive ugly granny pants. Both from my 20 year old goddaughter

Genuine question - you can't be a feminist if you are a man? Is that part of the definition?

As I understand feminism, yes. Just like a white person can't be a black activist. Others disagree with me, but plenty agree.

I actually adhere to lots of the negative stereotypes attributed to feminists so nobody has told me I can't be one. Nobody looks surprised when I say it! They seem happy to accept I'm a bolshy unshaven man-hater.

Anyway, back to shopping for dungarees...

Really don't think many if any feminist women hate trans people. But seeing as having any gender critical discussion is considered transphobic by definition then I guess that's the justification for the "hate" comments.

Ah yes "my feminism will be intersectional or it will be bullshit"

What I do see is people analysing a particular activity, and readers taking it personally. To use the meat one, I have seen
"The dairy industry is by its nature patriarchal, females are raped and abused for their product"
Followed by
"OMG, I can be feminist without being vegan"

Umm, nobody said you couldn't
(Note - in case it needs saying, I eat meat)

Can't win SlowlyShrinking.
Assassin Generally! I have a good friend who's trans and lost another friend because of it. I get that it's a complicated issue and it's a shame there's such a lot of hatred on both sides.

I changed my name when I got married (and use Mrs). I am a trailing spouse without a job. I dye my hair, shave my legs and wear make up and high heels.

I am quite happy being a Bad Feminist

Support trans people to do what?

Pidlan, I often see people saying the exact opposite ‘if you don’t centre transwomen in your feminism, your feminism is trash’ is a common one

Apparently I can't be a feminist because I support trans people.

I remember saying I was a feminist once when I was out to dinner with work friends (all male) they all laughed till they were crying. I managed to get out them why the idea I was feminist was so incredibly funny

It boiled down to I wore skirts sometimes, had long hair, I liked men and had a baby.

I was quite taken aback to be honest - but it was a useful indication as to what people think the term means.

You can't be a feminist if you eat meat.

Bacon or defeating the patriarchy, tough call.

Pallisers, different people have different opinions (like many things!) on whether men can be feminist or not. I'd say not, but my DH describes himself as feminist so

Yes, but it wasn't in the op. My question was lighthearted.

Ops second post quite a few before yours says lighthearted at the top Assassin

"No, I'm keeping my name because it belongs to me and I am proud of the people it comes from, but if it were to deny the patriarchal expectation then that too is my right. Luckily DP would do anything for me so they can swivel."

Good for you, OP. The decision is yours, nobody else's.

The other bloke? The one you turned down a while back and who said the stupid comment? He said that precisely because you turned him down. It was his way of getting revenge on you for spurning him. Don't give it headspace.

It doesn't say lighthearted in the OP

How were we meant to know?

It says in the OP...

You can't be a feminist if you don't acknowledge the patriarchy, sex based oppression and male supremacy. Or you have a penis. The end.

Genuine question - you can't be a feminist if you are a man? Is that part of the definition? If so it is news to me. Feminist Coalition in my kids' school has several male members. I would consider my husband a feminist - he certainly acknowledges the patriarchy, sex-based oppression and male supremacy.

I was told by a boyfriend once that I couldn't be a feminist if I read Viz.

Looking back, I wonder why it was just Viz and not all the other products of a patriarchal culture containing some sexist depictions of women. Would I have been allowed to read D.H.Lawrence, for example?
But for some reason it was just Viz.

Because I wear heels, like doing my hair, nails and make up, dressed my kids in pink and let them play with Disney princess, at times I haven't worked and have been perfectly happy spending OH's salary during those times. Oh and my kids have OH's name and I use 'miss'.

This board has taught me those people are talking bollocks.

No apology needed - we could work out some good responses to use.