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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

How to know if a male feminist is really a feminist

55 replies

Mamakiks · 05/12/2017 22:52

I've been seeing a new guy for a few months. After a miserable and unequal marriage I'm trying to keep my eyes wide open and not get bowled over by emotions and I think I'm doing ok so far. He talks the talk of a feminist and we don't spend enough time together in environments that I'd be able to see if he walks the walk too, as it's mainly at home that inequality occurs in relationships.
Are there any signs I can watch out for, to catch out even the most practised fake feminist?! Apologies if this sounds really cynical, he is very lovely, but I never again want to find myself in an unequal relationship.

OP posts:
ZigZagandDustin · 05/12/2017 23:13

Are you worried you'll find it hard to recognise when a man is treating you badly? This is a problem a lot of women have. But if you know what respect looks like I wouldn't get too caught up in the little details.

Mamakiks · 05/12/2017 23:09

That line was sort of a joke Zig but I get your point! I guess I'm asking for red flags, signs etc that it's all talk and no follow through?

OP posts:
ZigZagandDustin · 05/12/2017 23:02

I'm not sure your approach is healthy about this. Wanting to 'catch out even the most practiced feminist'. For most people feminism and understanding inequality is a journey. And lots of learning involved and eurika moments.

Why don't you just focus on getting to know him and if you like enough of what you see then great. If he sometimes gets the issues a bit wrong or has a perspective ou disagree with, then raise it with him and discuss it.

BertrandRussell · 05/12/2017 22:58

"Speak softly and carry a big stick"

Hellywelly10 · 05/12/2017 22:57

Think you just need to get to know him. It will take time.

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