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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Receptionist in 'unprofessional' clothes. Am conflicted

83 replies

bagelbaby · 04/12/2017 11:04

Love to hear your opinions as I'm conflicted.
Just dropped my car off for a service(decent car dealership- think free coffee, papers etc).
Was greeted by a young woman wearing heels so high she could hardly walk, a short extremely tight shirt and a shirt so tight it gaped showing her underwear.
It was all in black, so some thought about professional wear at work.
But it didn't feel right to me. I don't want to body shame. She has the right to wear what she wants.
But it just felt 'off'
I first hoped that the male dominated environment hadn't told her to wear it and then again I hoped she didn't feel that it was exactly what she should wear at work and had no choice.
I call myself a feminist and am finding myself conflicted.
I found myself looking at the heels and then spotting the bra. I thought 'Jeez if I'm doing this, then I guess this young woman is getting similar and worse all day from men?'
Love to hear your views

OP posts:
deydododatdodontdeydo · 04/12/2017 13:19

Did you post about that @Cracker09jacker?
I remember a similar post in AIBU I think. Very similar - a male manager had asked a female manager to have a word with a young woman dressing like this.
The general consensus was that it was nobody's business unless the dress code didn't allow it, she could wear what she wanted.

Elendon · 04/12/2017 12:49

I personally wouldn't give them my money. I cannot stand such an outfit and would definitely baulk at a man who wore trousers so tight I could see everything and had a shirt unbuttoned to his waist.

Apart from the fact that I as a customer would be wondering if she needed help in walking and wondering all the time if she fell wearing such shoes. I can't be doing with that added stress.

Which reminds me. I need to book my car in for a service. Lovely receptionists. Male and female.

Cracker09jacker · 04/12/2017 12:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GuardianLions · 04/12/2017 12:22

or taken on mainly because of the way she dressed
Which is in a sense like having a living 'girlie calender', making the environment hostile to women customers.

doctorcuntybollocks · 04/12/2017 11:55

I would wonder whether she'd been encouraged (or pressured) to dress that way by her employers, or taken on mainly because of the way she dressed. There's a long history of using scantily-dressed young women to sell cars.

GuardianLions · 04/12/2017 11:38

I think it is okay to feel conflicted. Obvs if that is her uniform then there is a problem, but if she chooses it then (which she may well have done) then this is a grey area.

It can feel uncomfortable or intimidating, as a woman, to be in male-dominated place and see sexualised females - eg - calendars and porn up on the walls. I have feelings like 'this place is not for me - I am not their intended customer - I am transgressing a boundary by entering into this space' as a woman, in such a situation. Which is shit, because I should feel like I have a right to be there like any other customer. Luckily this is really dying out now.

If a female member of staff is over-sexualised in her appearance, in a way that seems like it is for the benefit of men, as a customer you might feel similarly alienated as a woman - like your custom isn't either wanted or valued.

I think there is also a pervy element that could make you feel uncomfortable - that this woman is living out a sexual fantasy as she goes to work, deliberately trying to turn on the male employees, which is a bit ew.... You want to think they are servicing your car, focused on their work , not doing it needing a wank iyswim.

AssassinatedBeauty · 04/12/2017 11:14

The only situation where I would be concerned would be if that was a uniform that all the female receptionists had to wear as part of their job terms and conditions. That would be unacceptable because of the element of compulsion. Of course it's fairly impossible to tell if that's the case.

Otherwise, I don't really care what the receptionist of a garage wears, if she and her employers are happy about it.

RestingGrinchFace · 04/12/2017 11:09

The way that she dresses at work is only really the concern of herself and her employer (unless it really effects you as a consumer which in this case it doesn't really). If she is happy with what she is wearing (so hasn't been forced into it) andger employer is happy with what she is wearing (if the management is male dominated they probably don't realise how bad it looks) then I don't see the problem. If you really don't like it don't look.

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