Trans Widows escape committee

@EmilyHowardsWife are you and the DC going "Home" at all for Christmas? If so can you stay and just refuse to go back?

What are the barriers to you leaving him?

Emily, please LTB.

Emily, I feel for you. My ex boyfriend was into 'forced feminisation' fantasies and liked me to humiliate and belittle him while he wore female underwear. That was the part of it that turned him on - the humiliation. He encouraged me to download kindle books which played out these scenarios. Cheerleaders dressing up the jocks in the changing rooms and laughing at them etc.

I only stood it a few weeks. It's a fetish and it made me feel uncomfortable.

You don't have to do this. I know there's more to a relationship than sex but it is a fundamental part and it has to work for both partners, not just one.

I'm with someone else now. Sex is great and he values me for me.

Oh Emily

This is the time of year my partner has a craving to cross dress. Autumn to late spring is when he needs to dress. Why this time of year. I don't know.
However this year he has said that the need is very strong and he needs me to tell him that he looks ridiculous and to belittle him as much as possible to help him not dress.
Somehow I think this is a twist on his kinky fantasy and he is getting turned in by being humiliated.
I feel I'm being manipulated, as he has said I need to either fully accept his femme self and become as much as a "slut whore lesbian" as he is or be a "mean bitch" and beat him up over it.
Someone tell me what is it like to have a normal healthy sex.ife. A life where a partner enjoys you for you and no pantomime act needed.

My DC have a few friends with gender dysphoria at are transitioning F to Male (I do wonder if they fit the autistic uncomfortable with their identity/bodies tbh, who knows). I use every opportunity to point out that "Trans" is an umbrella term including autogynephilia and the absurdity of gender self ID - the insult of men competing in women's events is hitting home.

So basically I encourage them to view those who have gender dysphoria as needing support and acceptance but those who band about "Trans" need to be questioned as to what do you mean by trans...

Hope that makes sense!

Well I'm buggered if I'm going to be viewed as faceless and voiceless.

He'd like that, have me as a husk of a woman, while he stoats about horny on being brave and stunning.

No, that's really not how it's going to be going forward.

thanks for the infor about Amnesty, I am cancelling my DD and have just emailed telling them why

I agree, getting rid of the spousal veto, whilst making transition an automatic ground for divorce (without a wait period) would be a reasonable reform to the current GRC process.

It gives both partners the right to make decisions for themselves and no one is obliged to stay.

Also, waiting for all the TRAs to pile in and tell Grayson Perry that he doesn't understand his own sexuality....Or does that just happen to the wives?

I don't think that I as the spouse should have a veto on STBXHs transition.

I do however think it should be allowed as grounds for divorce. It specifically isn't in Scotland.

I DO HOWEVER, think that the partners/wife's experiences should be considered when looking at the transitioning individuals best medical needs.

My husband isn't gender dysmorphic, he will tell you that, and make a good story.

My experience of his being a porn addled, sexually motivated, abusive cross dresser; who wears women's clothes as part of his humiliation fetish (being a woman is humiliating - nice!) who has demonstrated clearly that he has no problems with having a penis, he made our kids, we were shagging for years quite successfully.

The idiot I'm divorcing is not getting the mental health treatment he needs, because he lies. He's getting so much brave and stunning chat, why would he be honest?

By cutting out our voices, it is cutting off a source of help, restricting the options for him.

Raised eyebrow emoji hasn't posted at the end.

The spousal veto was a veto to transitioning. Because it meant that if your spouse didn't want to end up in a same sex relationship then you couldn't get the GRC. I think spouses should have some rights in the process still because changing gender is a massive unilateral change to the terms of a relationship.

What one party sees as a 'spousal veto' the other party sees as an opportunity to have a say in their own marriage too.

But clearly that's unfair 

There's also an interview with Grayson Perry talking about his fetish.

It says:

“I admire the wife staying with her transitioning husband. Five years ago mine announced he had “gender issues” and our marriage fell apart. Sadly I felt the change was too huge for me to accommodate our son has struggled hugely. We are tired of the “victory narratives” of self-expression and bravery about those transitioning .I have great empathy for my ex but those absent in the story also suffer, and often in silence”
Name and address withheld.

If anyone sees The Guardian today there is a great letter in the Weekend mag,Your View. Succinctly reminds the world about those who suffer when someone transitions, page 8. Sorry link not online.

There was a very worrying question in the Scottish consultation about gender that suggested they were considering making divorcing your spouse because they transition illegal, or at least very hard to do.