If you regularly think "not ANOTHER trans thread"

EmilyHowardsWife
I hope you have a supportive friend. It must be really tough to deal with your husband’s condition

Datun, you are amazeballs!

The link was a very interesting read. Also read the Netmums thread, so many broken and damaged women and children. Serious questions - where is their support, their validation of their real grief. Why is it so one sided in favour of Trans Women.
Shouldn't really be reading Trans stuff my AGP husband has recently come out after years of episodic crossdressing that he isn't a man but gender non binary. Neither man or woman.
He is slowly moving to feminise his body (no body hair anymore and growing out his thin grey hair).
Lots of arguments as I feel he is (slowly) on board the train to TransVille, and he is raging that I could think such a thing.

Oops. Sorry. That post has a repeat in it that wasn’t meant to be there. Sorry. Hopefully it is comprehensible!

So many women's organisations are pro trans and may treat the woman as a bigot if she's not totally supportive of his actions.

I hate to say it, but other women are huge part of the problem.

I wonder if it’s because their ‘womanliness’ is being recognised, and coveted. It’s an affirmation of who they are.

“Ooh, I love women. I love how they are so effortless when they do things. How they can multitask. The wonderful empathy. They’re so gorgeous. They have men at their knees with the click of the fingers. They’ll always know what you’re thinking. They instantly open the wine or put the kettle on if you have a problem. They get it. One minute they’re nurturing the babies, the next the heels are on, the hair is styled and they are working it, baby. I don’t even get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day”

Because of course this is how we are portrayed in the media.

“Cos I’m a woman, W.O.M.A.N, I’ll say it again”.

I’m sure there are some women like that. But they are woefully few and far between.

I’d bloody love to be like that. Feted, celebrated. Put on a pedestal for my gorgeousness and my lemon drizzle cake.

I strongly suspect that the women who support the trans-ideology view themselves in this rosySo many women's organisations are pro trans and may treat the woman as a bigot if she's not totally supportive of his actions.

I hate to say it, but other women are a huge part of the problem.

I wonder if it’s because their ‘womanliness’ is being recognised, and coveted. It’s an affirmation of who they are.

“Ooh, I love women. I love how they are so effortless when they do things. How they can multitask. The wonderful empathy. They’re so gorgeous. They have men at their knees with a click of the fingers. They’ll always know what you’re thinking. They instantly open the wine or put the kettle on if you have a problem. They get it. One minute they’re nurturing the babies, the next the heels are on, the hair is styled and they are working it, baby. I don’t even get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day”

Because of course this is how we are portrayed in the media.

“Cos I’m a woman, W.O.M.A.N, I’ll say it again”.

I’m sure there are some women like that. But they are woefully few and far between.

I’d bloody love to be like that. Feted, celebrated. Put on a pedestal for my gorgeousness and my lemon drizzle cake.

I strongly suspect that the women who support the ideology view themselves in this rosy glow and, with supreme magnanimity together with a little inward pleasure, allow men to assume this particular mantle as their aspirational, yet fictitious version of who they are.

I know this is OT but
Katelyn Burns thinks if Usain Bolt transitioned, he would automatically be 10% slower because women are 10% slower than men.
They sure can't actually believe that.....cam they??!!
mobile.twitter.com/johnno131/status/935116213457317890

It is addictive Jenala.

Fuelled by pornography. The binge purge aspect.

The joke in the community is what is the difference between a transvestite and an autogynephile, and the answer is two years.

The pattern that you are recognising in your mother is very similar. I’m sure it is fairly triggering for you. (Although I don’t like that word, it has its uses). I’m sorry if it has upset you.

It’s so fucked up. The transwoman who was on here last year said that presenting as a woman made him feel more ‘vibrant’. Just like the guy on netmums who was able to be more sociable and outgoing.

They are such fucked-up stereotypes.

I can, of course, appreciate how adopting a persona can give you license. Every actor on the planet will tell you so.

But that doesn’t make you a fucking, bloody, bollocking WOMAN.

jenala this is a post that might be better on a different board. Most of us know this issues but that article might be useful in chat to open other people's eyes.

I think it's really hard for women coping with their male partner deciding they feel like a woman to get support. So many women's organisations are pro trans and may treat the woman as a bigot if she's not totally supportive of his actions.

Sick of what?

Yes, I am totally sick of it.

He was clearly consumed by being trans. He was desperately unhappy. As were his family and children.

That rings bells in the case of the only adult transitioner that I've known before and after. Pre-transition, he was lively, chatty, a bit alternative, thinking up fun experiences for his kids, playing games and music with them -- a bit of a Disney dad, maybe, but good to be around.

Then - bam. Make-up, skirts, unsuitable shoes, new name, new pronouns and no other bloody topic of conversation. Two very baffled adolescents who were desperately trying to be supportive. One pallid wife who looked like she'd been run over by a bus.

I don't see them any longer, so I don't know if things calmed down after the initial stage. I hope so for all their sakes.

Bucketsandspoons

The patterns are constantly repeated. Starting in secret, getting more bold, coming out, ripping through the family‘s finances to accommodate the transition in terms of clothing and make up, the lies, the fury, the self obsession and the demands that every single thing be sacrificed to it.

It’s a horribly violent obsession. Irrational, unreasonable and unstoppable.

I know that many transsexuals are not like this.

But I’m having trouble even comprehending that something like autogynephilia could have such a devastating impact.

Although I know it does. I’m still getting waves of realisation that are difficult process.

When you read it first hand, no holds barred, it’s more than shocking.

Datun how very sad. I vividly remember several posts from a MNetter who has had to handle her husband transitioning, who shared very much that experience.

I don’t really know where to put this but this thread seems like a good place.

Out of interest, I wondered whether not netmums were having these conversations. I tried searching for Lily Madigan but it turned up nothing.

I did however start to read a thread about a woman whose husband had come out as trans and he now wanted their young child to stop calling him dad and call him by a female name.

As I read, more women came on to talk about their experience of being married to someone who had come out.

I’ve got to say, I’ve read quite a few of these things, but it was still fairly harrowing.

All the issues we talk about here, in the abstract are utterly ruining peoples lives.

Then a man came on to say he has come out. It comes as no surprise how angry and demented some transactivists sound. He was clearly consumed by being trans.

He was desperately unhappy. As were his family and children.

What comes across, more than anything, is that this is a mental condition. It’s a obliterates everything else in these peoples’ lives. To the point of insanity.

The women are left rudderless and truly desperate, with zero support. Only vilification for not ‘understanding’. The men are obsessive and driven about becoming ‘women‘. Their craving for validation overrides everything. I can’t believe laws are being considered on the back of this illness.

Believe me, there was nothing of my understanding of the word woman about them.

I don’t want to provide a link, because I feel as though these women’s experiences should be confined to that particular website. Out of a respect for their privacy.

But it’s easily searchable.

Sex is a protected characteristic under the Equality Act. It doesn't need to be redefined as 'biological sex'. 'Sex' already means 'biological sex' just as 'woman' already means 'adult human female'.

Yes, this is what I believe. This is not what's happening though is it - see the girlguiding thread - girl and woman is being used for gender, not sex, and those sex-based protections are being granted based on self-ided gender, not sex.

I know about the equalities act, but it all goes to pot if this continuous obfuscation continues, if it's not re-enforced that woman refers to a person's sex, and that identifying as a woman is not the same as being one.

FizzyWaterAndElderflower

Sex is a protected characteristic under the Equality Act. It doesn't need to be redefined as 'biological sex'. 'Sex' already means 'biological sex' just as 'woman' already means 'adult human female'.

Do you really think a gender fluid police officer is the right member of staff to deal with a rape victim or child abuse victim, while presenting as a women?
Because I dont. And I dont think that makes me a bigot.

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/05/23/fluid-gender-policeman/

Helen is brilliant. I love her. I may have told her this.

There isn't one. If there was, it would be obvious. At some point you will stop fighting that and accept it.

Well, no - the word 'woman' is used in laws - it needs to be defined if the meaning will change, then the meaning of those laws changes - and if there's no new, defined meaning, then those laws have become powerless and pointless

Accept that does not mean people should be discriminated against.

Well, no, of course not - I don't think asking for a word to be defined is discrimination is it?

Just that they should not be given rights that dont belong to their group, such as the right to enter the womens area in a synagogue.

You just said 'their group' so that group must be definable no? The group 'women' needs to be definable in order for that sentence to make sense. If 'woman' is 'any one who says they are a woman' - then anyone has the right to enter the women's area in a synagogue. You can only have groups when you have definition.

I'm asking for definitions. I don't see why that is unreasonable.

Thank you. That blog is a great resource for people new to the issues.

Brilliant blog. Well done Helen Saxby.

Well these trans women are women women (twaww)
will never be have said at their birth 'another girl, sneeringly',
will never be faced with toys designed to keep them up to date with the latest household appliances and the latest in fashion and makeup. Will never believe they are ugly or weak.
Will never believe that to face womanhood is to face dangers of sexual abuse, sexism, pornography driven sex that debases rather than enhances their sexual pleasure.

Will never have to be inoculated for cervical cancer because of sexual activity.

Will never have to have smear tests.

Will never have to worry about the impact of abortion and failure of contraception.
Will never have to ingest pills daily to prevent pregnancy. Will never face pregnancy.

Will never face breastfeeding, vaginal stitches, abdominal stitches, the dilemma to bottle feed.

Will never have to do wife work.

Will never have to face whether to have a hysterectomy because of menstrual problems or cancer.

Will never have to face breast cancer.

Will never have to face menopause.

Will never be given the tag line little old lady and face the end of life possibly with dementia related illness.

They say they are more abused and murdered than any group, anywhere. And that is the mostly the discrimination they talk of. Apart from being accepted, on every level, as female.

There are certainly trans women in high-profile jobs.

Mostly, they say they are being discriminated against on the basis of exclusion from women spaces and feminism, though.

It’s all about forcing people to say they are women and they represent women.

The joke is that anyone can be a feminist! Anyone can campaign for women’s rights. But they don’t want that. They just want to be openly included in the one thing that excludes men by definition.

It’s no coincidence that terf stands for trans exclusionary radical feminist.

You don’t have tees - trans exclusionary employers, or teha- trans exclusionary housing associations.