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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Work meetings with men

28 replies

TheDonald · 22/11/2017 19:38

Urgh.

I admit I'm spoilt. I work for a dv charity. All internal meetings and most external meetings are female only.

Occasional meetings with funders and supporters include men who are there to help and are usually prepared to listen.

Today I went to a meeting with commissioners and council / police types. It was quite a big meeting but I was there to tell the room about a project that we'd been running so you would think they might bother to listen and not talk over me.

I'd forgotten what it was like when two people start to talk at once but one (male) just forces ahead. I'd normally stop and apologise as would all my colleagues, and then we'd both get chance to speak. In this meeting the men just carried on every time. They totally dominated even though all the females in the room were more informed and more senior. I barely got a point across, and I'm not the shy retiring type.

How do you manage it if you deal with this every day?

OP posts:
Nyx1 · 22/11/2017 20:15

or chuck the pen down on the table and sigh loudly.

Badgerthebodger · 22/11/2017 20:15

Don’t stop talking. We’ve got one of these and if he tries to overtalk me in meetings I simply carry on. If I was talking first he can fuck off until I’ve finished - don’t apologise either. Standing up helps, especially if they are all sitting down. Don’t be afraid to put him in his place - No, I haven’t finished speaking yet please don’t talk over me. I’ve found with our charmer that being direct is the only way. You must make sure you retain the moral high ground though as it’s much more effective!

Nyx1 · 22/11/2017 20:14

Tbh I think you need to keep talking. When they're playing that level of aggression, you have to compete.

the other thing I have done, deliberately, is stop, and do something physical like move my chair very noisily - it has the effect of making everyone realise what's happening but you have to be okay brazening it out and casting round a wide smile. It gets the point across.

bloody hell, it's depressing thinking how much time is wasted on dealing with aggressive gits at work!