Let toys be toys - Foodbank wants to allocate Christmas gifts based on sex and age

I would also have winced at the gendering of toys, OP. I think the suggestion to do your own gender neutral gifts is a good one. Or label them according to gender but put non-stereotypical stuff in the box e.g. a science kit for a girl or Electrigirl for a boy (my DS loved it).

There are places, times and ways to challenge gender stereotyping. This is NOT the time.
Go and help them out instead of criticising a group of people doing their best to help.

They're trying to do a good thing and shouldn't be criticised.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions - or so I've been told..

It's constructive criticism, and OP is still doing plenty whilst raising the issue as a concern.

“For a small boy to be given a toy focused on caring or role play is usually a recipe for disappointment. A girl might not want cars but you are training her to be grateful for whatever she gets out of life rather than striving for more appropriate things. ”

Lord the arrogance of a man who calls himself “wise” and then spouts this shit. Not a surprise really

OP I get what you are saying

They will check all the boxes and move things around as they see fit anyway

It makes perfect sense.
Please don't make an issue when there doesn't need to be. They're trying to do a good thing and shouldn't be criticised.

Your charity work is great op

I would choose something 'neutral' and label as such.

I agree with you on principle, OP and have tried to change the segregated prizes and lucky dips at my local school fairs to gender neutral (just toys rather than girls' and boys') but probably a charity at (busy) Christmas time isn't the best place to start.

First of all OP I don't think you are unreasonable to suggest a better split than girl/boy. Parents will presumably be picking stuff up and they do know their kids - having a handful of themes might help (crafts for 5 yr old, horse mad 13 yr old, spy kit for 9 yr old, superheroes for 6 yr old etc?) Yes, I guess it would be harder to administer - but it's still worth thinking about how it could be done and whether it would make the recipients happier. Prob a bit late for this Christmas though it sounds like you did try to suggest it earlier.

Secondly thanks for pointing out that foodbanks are doing Christmas gifts - it's likely more children will be affected by UC rollout this Christmas so it's good to know some way of contributing.

The praying thing would massively piss me off.

The toys thing - I think most parents would like to be given the chance to pick out some things that their kids would like, but I also understand that this also has its problems.

Volunteering for any charity run by volunteers is usually pretty frustrating. I steer clear of anything church run because the volunteers all know each other from church.

Ah: are the boxes offered by the church food bank?

I would concentrate on making a difference where you can rather than spending effort where you can’t.

Don't donate dolls or cars donate jigsaws and books I can't believe you emailed them about this being privilaged enough that you can think about GN toys is fine but having the arrogance tocontact a charity to point out that they are doing it wrong is low,

Present buying for your own children or children you know is personal, present buying for disadvantaged 7 year olds is totally different. I Think the foodbank has enough to contend with than worrying about gender neutral toys.

Just don’t put gender stereotyped toys in your box.

They will look in all the boxes anyway and move everything around.

If buying for a stranger you want to maximise the chance of the child enjoying the gift.

Most boys and girls like the stereotypical toys. So more chance of it being something enjoyable. Just like I wouldn't by a doll for a 8 year old because some may like it others may have outgrown it. Would want to maximise chance of getting it right.

When buying for a child i know i would buy suited to their own likes and interests and not a toy marketed at a gender.

@shotsfired. Well done for volunteering and taking initiative though rather than waiting for others to do something through taxation. That is community minded of you.

I am afraid you are pushing your political agenda onto small children, who by virtue of using a food bank, are not exactly living in the lap of luxury. For a small boy to be given a toy focused on caring or role play is usually a recipe for disappointment. A girl might not want cars but you are training her to be grateful for whatever she gets out of life rather than striving for more appropriate things.

Also consider that, regardless of your thoughts, the gender preferences for toys are quite strong. There is a Daily Mail report on a paper by City University on this. (I know you will cry Daily Fascist or some such but the messenger is irrelevant to the message content and I don't have a link to the original paper to hand)

So in summary most boys want boys toys and most girls want girl toys and yet you are willing to upset and disappoint the vast majority to ensure that children who would be happy with either type or the even rarer cases that might want the "opposite" (for want of a better word) might get something suitable. That seems selfish to me.

Christ - if we are playing non gender-up-man-ship than my youngest dd would love anything football-related, the middle did is into karate and the eldest dd is into anime.

Dd3 would love a ‘boys’ hat, won’t wear dresses etc.

But we aren’t talking about our own kids, we are talking about pleasing the general population and id rather not risk disappointing a little kid who might nit get anything else fir Christmas.

So a charity is making sure kids who would go without get some Christmas gifts and you want to complain about it? If your that worried I suggest you donate you put what you deem to be a suitable gift in the boxes you donate.

It is a girls hat etc. I don’t think a boy would like it.

I probably wouldn't then, but my son would.... and both my sons would go for sparkly notebooks.

OP - I would do a box and mark it 'either' - lead by example. This is what I did when my kid's school did similar, and when they asked for 'boys' and 'girl's toys for a raffle hamper (apparently boys like balls, but girls don't - according to the required items)

Should poor kids just be grateful for what they’ve got....

Some children mgt have parents who would take the piss or mock their kids for playing with the “wrong” toys.

Tackling gender stereotyping has to come target parents as, when children are young, they are the ones with the most influence!

My point is: take this up with society, not a group who are trying to please most people.

I think in this instance, it's unhelpful to interrupt the activity with tub-thumping, unless you believe they're doing it simply to perpetuate an insidious problem. We must assume that the majority of users are happy with the arrangement.

My point is: take this up with society, not a group who are trying to please most people.

I think in this instance, it's unhelpful to interrupt the activity with tub-thumping, unless you believe they're doing it simply to perpetuate an insidious problem. We must assume that the majority of users are happy with the arrangement.