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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Motherland

71 replies

3Gifts41 · 13/11/2017 10:11

It's so sexist, unbelievable.

The bitch, the stressed out working mum who is so incapable that she can't organise her child care, (no stressed out working dad in sight), ridiculing the stay a home dad by representing him as an emasculated clown.

I cringed cringed cringed when I watched this with dh. Won't be watching the rest.

OP posts:
chronicallylate38 · 13/11/2017 20:59

agree re liking her kids - similarly the teacher bit didn't resonate, i'm always worrying about not being informed enough about what's going on with my children as I'm hardly ever at school, railing against the teacher's hardly helpful.

where are the bits where her child tells her she doesn't want random people picking her up, she wants mummy to do it? Maybe that's coming after ep 1/2

Swirlingasong · 13/11/2017 20:54

I agree, Bubble, it would have been nice to see a bit more evidence that any of them actually liked their kids.

I liked the bit where Liz told Julia she was always on the make. This resonated with me - the 'friends' who are happy to ask for childcare but wouldn't consider devoting their free time to you. I hated the way Julia treated her mother. I don't know anyone who would do that. On the other hand, I have seen plenty of tired grandparents who I've felt were being taken advantage of so maybe the grandmother is the fantasy figure of the one who actually just says no (but obviously still loves her grandchildren).

I also really want to know where all the kids go in that cafe. Is there a massive sound-proofed soft play the other side of the counter? Are they forced to work as slave Labour baking cakes in the kitchen?

Bubblebubblepop · 13/11/2017 20:31

WHere I think Sharon Horgan et al missed a trick is that she really doesn't seem to care about her children at all

Tinycitrus · 13/11/2017 20:23

It’s just a sitcom.

It’s not meant to be a state of the nation address.

I thought it was funny and we’ve all been there (in a slightly less crazy way)

egginacup · 13/11/2017 20:18

I loved it! Yes I can see where you're coming from re stereotypes, but isn't that what most comedy is? So much was toe-curlingly accurate- the kids party where everyone unexpectedly stays, the awful swimming party, the desperately trying to sort last minute childcare, the cliques... all the pta stuff reminded me of the time I stupidly volunteered for the preschool committee. I didn't like the stereotype of the single mum who doesn't work, but she was probably my favourite character. And the issue of mum-friends that someone mentioned gets addressed brilliantly later on when Liz invites Julia out for a drink and she says 'I don't do school stuff in the evening', making Liz realise that to Julia she's just a 'mum friend'.

Mostly it was nice to watch a comedy with strong female characters that actually related to my life. Albeit with much nicer kitchens.

derxa · 13/11/2017 18:55

I loved it. The SAHD is very like a job sharing dad I used to know. His DS had DV and invited us to a coffee morning. He left the DS to wander about the house without a nappy on Shock. I've watched it all on i-player and the end episode is great. The alpha mum is more 'complex than you might think. (I love Lucy Punch)

qumquat · 13/11/2017 17:27

Yes I would describe it as depressingly accurate.

RosaDeZoett · 13/11/2017 17:27

Facilitated! Not enabled.... 😉

RosaDeZoett · 13/11/2017 17:25

It's interesting that what some people see as clichéd, unrealistic, exaggerated and sexist .... Is real life for others. I definitely found situations that resonated, I'm a very long way from London BTW. Maybe depressing is a more accurate description. I had just started to read that other thread about women accommodating /enabling all aspects of men's lives.... Must toddle off for a proper read of it

MillicentFawcett · 13/11/2017 13:56

You must do TheAntiBoop - I've never met many of the dads at my DS's school. Not even at parent's evening!

TheAntiBoop · 13/11/2017 13:53

It's interesting because at my ds' n London MC prep school the dad are very hands on - I see them drop off/parents evening/concerts - definitely all at their kids parties and often taking their kids to parties at weekends. Even those where mum is sahp

Maybe I live in a particularly progressive microcosm!

ZzzMarchhare · 13/11/2017 13:49

When school rang about the swimming kit and she asked if they had called dad first- really resonated with me. DHs work is way more flexible and his name is first on both nursery and school contact forms but still I get forlorn mobile messages saying 'well as you haven't answered I will have to call dad - sigh '

qumquat · 13/11/2017 13:40

I've only seen the pilot but I took a completely different message from it to many here. I thought it was accurately portraying the way the dads often leave all childcare arrangements and 'wifework' to the mums, even if both parents work full time. And by highlighting that issue it was making a feminist point.

SeekEveryEveryKnownHidingPlace · 13/11/2017 13:40

Catastrophe was much more subtle - for example when Sharon is at home with the baby and wants to stay friends with the other mother who's now gone back to work, that's done really nicely and convincingly, and doesn't need to hammer the point home by making the working mother bitchy/an alpha female/actually hostile - it just really clearly showed how difficult it can be to maintain friendships at that stage of life - and was still funny.

Basically I think that's it - Motherland isn't quite as funny as I'd hoped. I just want to see 'Philomena Cunk' freezing more cheese!

needadvice321 · 13/11/2017 13:36

I like it. Yes it is all exaggerated for laughs but not that far off reality for me as a mum that works and is the default parent as well.

chronicallylate38 · 13/11/2017 13:35

oh yes - the teacher thing was odd boop, i agree i didn't understand that. You have to think there is a long backstory with the mum, they seemed to indicate that.

Blerg · 13/11/2017 13:33

I quite liked it but can see it’s not exactly groundbreaking or fresh in the way Catastrophe was.

I like the line about party bag choking hazards though. So true.

chocolateisnecessary · 13/11/2017 13:28

I’m in the industry and everyone is raving about it. I thought it was weak.

LadyGagarden · 13/11/2017 13:26

I loved it! Exaggerated but pretty spot on characters for me.

Round here, childcare is almost always left to the mums to sort out. We had an extra inset day after half term just and there were a number of working mums who forgot and were texting round like mad things to sort out childcare a few days before. My mum also refused to help out and the main character pretty much voiced what I used to think but would never say! Like a pp, I haven’t met a stay at home dad so can’t comment but the rest seemed pretty indentifiable.

TheAntiBoop · 13/11/2017 13:23

She probably would get more childcare help if she wasn't so ungrateful for it though. You reap what you sow

FairlyConstantNameChanger · 13/11/2017 13:21

Yes, although her treatment of her mother is unacceptable, the only people I really know who have it together have family providing unconditional childcare.

chronicallylate38 · 13/11/2017 13:19

agree fairly, I'm lucky to have had very sympathetic managers at my current firm post DC2 but I left the old firm partly because of how rubbish they made me feel everytime I couldn't get to work due to child related sickness. 'But don't you have back-up childcare', 'won't your mum do it' etc. etc.

TheAntiBoop · 13/11/2017 13:19

I recognise what you are saying but I don't actually think that's what the character is portraying

I also find her treatment of her mother and the way she spoke to the teacher particularly unidentifiable.

chronicallylate38 · 13/11/2017 13:17

oh watch episode 2 - like all comedies, hard to get good character development up front - it gets better. The auction of promises bit was funny! The scenario of your DD vomm'g 30 mins before a birthday party was also quite good!

it was wince-inducingly accurate for me - a bit uncomfortably so, I don't live in london but in a city in a mc area.

the only thing missing is a proper barney with the DH twat - I agree he's an accurate character, but the protagonist would've had a shouting match with him by now, surely? That never there but touchy-feeling but not quite right chat was spot on from him I thought.

The SAHD fits the stereotype of the few at my school - totally downtrodden - mind you, I can think of only 1 in the class!

I've only seen ep 1 and 2, but I reckon the character development will improve with more time and she's a good writer.

FairlyConstantNameChanger · 13/11/2017 13:16

Those of you who can’t relate to the main character, do you always feel organised and together and have cast iron childcare which works even if your kids are sick etc? Do you feel that your career has taken no hit at all from having DC? Do you have a perfectly tidy, organised house? I feel that I am constantly juggling and never organised. DH helps with pick ups and drop offs but his career has also been negatively affected by this when he does.

Genuinely not trying to be goady. If anything I want to know your secrets!