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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Mansplain of the day

35 replies

Albadross · 29/10/2017 12:00

During a discussion based on an article about a father wanking off his disabled child, man says "why couldn't he just get a female?"

I point out that this simply swaps one wrong for another. He equates me saying most women are coerced or sold into the sex industry and he says that means I'm defending thieves because they have dodgy pasts too (yes, of course, they often do, but wtf?!).

He says that as long as it's for sale and consensual, buying women is ok. His final comment was a gem:

"Prostitution throughout history was seen as a recognised trade… I think you need to do a bit more research. Yes I understand some have been abused and forced into it, but… It was still a choice for some. Enough now, or we will be here all day babe… I’m done"

Oh well if you're done then that's ok.... Angry

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Albadross · 30/10/2017 11:51

Yes that's correct, and it is terrifying!

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SepiaTintedRose · 30/10/2017 10:02

He equates me saying most women are coerced or sold into the sex industry and he says that means I'm defending thieves because they have dodgy pasts too (yes, of course, they often do, but wtf?!).

Presumably he said this because he views prostitution as some kind of sin (committed by the prostitute), and sees you as making excuses for their actions with reference to their past, being coerced into it etc. Meanwhile (a) still arguing in favour of prostitution, and (b) completely oblivious the the concept that it's the punters causing the harm.

Have I got that right?

Agreed with PP who said it's terrifying he's a counsellor.

CeeBeeBee · 30/10/2017 09:44

That is worrying.

Albadross · 30/10/2017 09:18

There are other women on the thread agreeing with him, which is baffling to me but I see it so often, it's depressing beyond belief.

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CeeBeeBee · 29/10/2017 21:06

I don't know the full story but this reminds me of a time when a colleague (female) was telling me about her experience of working in a care home for teenagers. The teenager had ld and would make noises for when he was going to masturbate. Because, he hadn't done it before, when his father visited, he was shown how to. I'm not sure whether that meant his father showed him on himself or did it to him. We were were appalled.

CeeBeeBee · 29/10/2017 20:57

Nor, did I disagree it was sexual abuse.

CeeBeeBee · 29/10/2017 20:55

Lass I was pointing out that it was an adult rather than a child. Nowhere did I suggest that it was any better.

ALittleBitOfButter · 29/10/2017 19:30

And also any man who habitually calls women "babe" needs to be strenuously avoided.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 29/10/2017 19:07

During a discussion based on an article about a father wanking off his disabled child, man says "why couldn't he just get a female?"

I can't imagine how it is possible to have a discussion beyond the initial " that is so wrong". I'd be backing away from anyone wanting to prolong it.

deydododatdodontdeydo · 29/10/2017 18:49

Wtf is this story? Is the child non-consenting? That's just awful.
Has the father decided his son needs masturbating?
Or does the son want it and is just physically unable to do it?
Either way, gross, although I suppose the father thinks he is doing the son a favour.
And no, "getting" a woman is even worse.

AssassinatedBeauty · 29/10/2017 18:00

Everything about the scenario is wrong. No one is entitled to sex. Performing sex acts on your adult children is clearly wrong, whether they consent or not.

Albadross · 29/10/2017 17:44

I’m saying ‘wanking’ because typing’masturbation’ every time was grinding on my brain a bit, hope I’m not coming off as blithe

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Albadross · 29/10/2017 17:41

He was using the argument that the wanking was the issue too, but I see them both as unjustifiable. If the father masturbates his son that’s not consensual but add a prostitution to that and you then have two non-consenting adults doing something because the father thinks his son needs it.

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DorothyBastard · 29/10/2017 16:49

He’s training to be a counsellor?! Bloody hell that’s just the kind of person you want ‘helping’ people at their most vulnerable(!) How terrifying.

Trills · 29/10/2017 15:59

Yuck.

That doesn't sound like someone you want to interact with any more than you have to.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 29/10/2017 15:56

It's an adult son. Post at 13:25 says it's because he can't do it himself

Doesn't make it any better. It is still sexual abuse.

CeeBeeBee · 29/10/2017 15:46

It's an adult son. Post at 13:25 says it's because he can't do it himself.

I wouldn't bother with this individual either. I really can't stand it when men try to justify the right to buy access to a woman's bodybbcause they "need" it.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 29/10/2017 15:33

I am also far more concerned about the CSA than the prostitution element

Yes me too.

Creamswirls · 29/10/2017 14:47

Is this the same guy as from your other thread?

If not then you now have two individuals in your life you would do well to steer clear of. Flowers

Albadross · 29/10/2017 13:38

I think I do it because I used to have similar views about prostitution (sex-positive feminism etc) and if nobody had engaged with me and told me why that was BS I may never have worked it out.

I knew him in RL but I think I will have to unfollow now and start untagging myself in everything.

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NoCryLilSoftSoft · 29/10/2017 13:30

Completely baffled as to why you would entertain this man beyond his first “opinions” post he tagged you in? Confused

PricklyBall · 29/10/2017 13:29

Is he a RL friend, or an internet one? And what (if anything) does he bring to your life that's positive? Because if he's just an internet acquaintance, and someone who doesn't bring anything positive to your life, but just expects you to act as a nodding, affirmatory chorus to his views, I'd be inclined to do a soft block (where you unfollow someone in such a way that they don't realise they've been dropped - there are instructions online for most social media platforms if you do a quick google). Life is too short to put up with pricks simply out of politeness.

EnidColeslaw771 · 29/10/2017 13:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Albadross · 29/10/2017 13:25

He posts links to controversial articles and then says 'Opinions?' and always tags me. He was saying it was wrong of a father to masturbate his adult son because he couldn't do it himself, and I pointed out that buying sex from prostitutes doesn't really solve the issue.In his mind, buying sex is fine so that was the perfect solution, I don't think buying sex is justified even if for some misguided 'right' reason.

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PricklyBall · 29/10/2017 13:15

And this guy is training to be a counsellor? Christ on a bike. Can you block and delete? Because he sounds seriously - to the point of dangerously - screwed up, and he's going to be counselling other people???