Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

Original poster

anyone else been ditched by friends for having Gender critical views?

213 replies

JetCityWoman · 28/10/2017 23:07

Long time user new account

just that really? I've been quite vocal of the importance of biology and a lot of my female friends have basically told me to fuck off. were talking 5+ year friendships all gone because I refuse to accept men can be women.

anyone else navigating this weird state of being?

OP posts:
NoLoveofMine · 29/10/2017 01:26

I'm glad I'm not the only one Assassinated.

AssassinatedBeauty · 29/10/2017 01:18

I've had a run in with a friend over this. I was verbally attacked aggressively by a previously good (male) friend over expressing the idea that there are not fixed innate differences between male and female brains. I was absolutely turned on for mildly expressing my thoughts, and not able to get a word in edgeways until I just had to walk away.

I also had to bite my tongue recently to avoid a similar failing out with another male friend who was arguing persistently for innate significant differences between male and female brains. I knew I just had to stop talking and leave it.

I'm actually too cowardly to express to my friends my total gender criticalness as I think I would be excluded for being transphobic, and I'd lose my friendship group.

NoLoveofMine · 29/10/2017 01:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BriechonCheese · 29/10/2017 01:02

I was asked to leave a feminist group because of my Gender Criticism - the group contained many friends of over 15 years. Most of them were doctors. HmmConfused

The absolute refusal, on their part, to debate any of it was incredibly confusing. I know these women to be bright, intelligent, caring but they threw away a loving friendship because of this.
Two have come back to me and apologised after reaching peak trans others have been horrendously behaved toward me.

hipsterfun · 29/10/2017 00:49

Not yet, but I’m expecting to be. I can live with it Grin

MaisyPops · 28/10/2017 23:39

Nope not yet, but I don't know if that's because I'm generally supportive if trans issues (up to the point where trans activist lobbies start trying to colonise women's spaces).
E.g. gender neutral toilets = I'm up for that. Single cubicles, fully enclosed with a sanpro bin. All good.
E.g. gender neutral toilets with urinals and gender neutral toilets without urinals = nope. Not ok at all because that is just giving men access to women's spaces.

Queenofthedrivensnow · 28/10/2017 23:35

Even my mother took a bit of convincing!

busyboysmum · 28/10/2017 23:34

My male friends get it. My female friends just look blankly at me like I'm being a bitch.

Original poster
JetCityWoman · 28/10/2017 23:26

well mine were because I said very clearly Gender Identity isn't the same as sexuality and sexuality needs to be recorded honestly and acknowledged as such because of risk factors with STIs, HIV not to mention birth control, sexual health screenings.

and there was the time I said lesbians are not there to validate trans identified males identity.

OP posts:
QuentinSummers · 28/10/2017 23:22

I think I might have been Sad

Original poster
JetCityWoman · 28/10/2017 23:22

Oh I can imagine! I'm tired of filtering myself. Tired of lying! thats what it feels like I am being asked to do by going along with this nonsense. Lying. One friend unfriended me from everything then 'explained' aka made herself feel better by saying why in a blog post she didn't think I would find.

what I am finding most strange is that my male friends full on agree with me and the gender critical stuff.

OP posts:
JesusTapdancingChrist · 28/10/2017 23:18

Yep, back when I was on FB I got unfriended by my most right on, intersectional feminist friend for saying that rapists in dresses shouldn't be put in women's prisons.

frogsoup · 28/10/2017 23:14

Yeah, me too. Only one person, but it hurt. Usually I must admit I avoid challenging friends. I have a pretty good radar for who is likely to be likeminded on this particular issue, and limit my ranting to that group, but I stupidly ignored it one time. It was like going down the rabbit hole :( I thought it would be possible to have a civil discussion - I honestly bent over backwards to be non-offensive - but nope, I was totally shut down because my comments re biology made her 'uncomfortable'. FFS. And if you knew what this person did for a job, you would weep.