anyone else been ditched by friends for having Gender critical views?

I've actually been told I should 'donate my womb to a trans woman' because its oppressive i don't use it for what its intended. I've been told I should donate my eggs for trans people.

They said this to a woman struggling to conceive? Bloody hell.

MsGame I have been surprised at the amount of people who are utterly convinced of their “rightness” when it comes to trans issues. For example, in the same way that we know it is utterly unacceptable to hold or express racist views, or be homophobic, those expressing concerns over current trans seem to be considered in the same way.

This infuriates me so much. And it's so often people who consider themselves "free thinkers"!! The same people who will happily be unpleasant to or exclude others, provided the person doesn't fall into an "ism" they care about. Like, no joined-up thinking... just "racism is wrong, homophobia is wrong, transphobia is wrong..." without thinking why it's wrong.

But how have TAs done this? How has it been presented as a done deal??

Also, I didn't mean in my previous post that there are only people who accept it unquestioningly and those who are too afraid to speak up - there are some of course who are fully behind it all and passionately advocate for it, but I meant in terms of some of the others.

Just...fear of being branded transphobic is ruling all at the minute.

I definitely think this is the case with some. Some accept it unquestioningly I think because they've been fed the message that the TRA line is the progressive one and any who differ are evil bigots, so their social media for example has become an echo chamber where the only interaction with an alternative viewpoint is shouts of "TERFs" and how awful they are, if that makes sense. However there are others who just know to speak up could be damaging - two of my best friends agree with me on this issue but will only really talk about it to me. I used to keep quiet about it at school etc but have started being more vocal now (not least because I'm finding it increasingly difficult not to be), which hasn't gone down too well with some. It has also annoyed me the line of the feminist society at my school is very much the TRA one, which I worry is being forced on many, especially young girls who start engaging with feminism through that and are being told anyone who opposes it is an evil TERF bigot. I'm trying to work out how to try to oppose this so part of doing that has had to be being more vocal - which isn't without its reprucussions. I've had a few arguments about it but I don't feel I can pretend not to feel as I do anymore. On the plus side, I have engaged with a boy on this who listened and changed his mind because he just hadn't considered the safety implications for women and girls.

My parents fully agree with me and share outrage at what's happening; one of my younger brothers does as well, so that's positive (I haven't really discussed it at length with my other brother).

I am wary of sharing my gender critical views with people, unless I know I can trust them. Outside of the internet that is basically only a close relative of mine.

But I do have experience with losing a long term friend to a cult-like organization.

I had a friend I was close with since before high school. Our friendship came to an abrupt halt after I refuse to become a christian (I am an atheist, but I don't talk about that much offline either).
She was always religious, but we never talked about it, apart from that we knew that she had a religion and I didn't. Several years before we fell out, she had joined a very strict church and she started mentioning religion a lot more. This included asking me if my coworker, who was dating a member of her church, was sleeping with him, because "he was in the church band and only virgins could be in the band". She once took me to a birthday party of a friend of hers where I discovered I was the only one there who was not a member of that church and the only one there without a religion. They tried to talk about religion with me, but I wouldn't engage.

Eventually she called me a "bad person" and worried that I "was going to go to hell because I don't believe in Jesus Christ". I got really angry with her and she got really angry with me and from then on we haven't spoken to each other at all anymore.

Anyone, sorry for the derail, but I can relate to how much it hurts to lose a friend.

I don't think the TRA movement will face serious opposition until gay men start opposing it. No one gives a fuck what women think, but gay men would be powerful opponents because they are men and because it would be impossible for 'progressives' to label them as anti-LGBT (logically the same should be true of lesbians but it isn't because they are women so their place is in the wrong).

I've had a few difficult moments with my adult daughter, which has made me very sad. My teenage son is currently trying to decide what he thinks - the sport issue is on his mind in particular.

One of my male GNC friends just wanted reassurance that I hadnt turned into a homophobe.

DJBaggySmalls this is one of the reasons I've often started the discussion about this with how utterly, blatantly homophobic trans activism is, because the (nice, liberal) people who think trans activism is just a natural extension of the gay rights movement, of course they;d support it, often have no bloody idea how homophobic and deeply conservative it is.

His view (after a long row, which ended unresolved and occasionally flares up again) is in 20 years time I'll see that my position is like that of the racists in S Africa who said apartheid was OK because it was separate but equal. It's not going to end my marriage, but it is our first real disagreement in years.

I’m actually really worried he is right! But only in so much that trans take over of women’s spaces will be so complete that we will all have to pretend that we find it acceptable and The Right Thing because to not do so would lead to shunning and even criminal convictions.

I have been surprised at the amount of people who are utterly convinced of their “rightness” when it comes to trans issues. For example, in the same way that we know it is utterly unacceptable to hold or express racist views, or be homophobic, those expressing concerns over current trans seem to be considered in the same way. I saw it just this weekend where a person’s “disgusted” reaction just ended a decent discussion and their attempts to shame people for their hate and bigoted views made huge tension. It’s very scary because I am seeing discussion shut down over and over again because people are too scared to even explore the issues for fear of the above reactions. If we can’t even discuss the issues, how can we address them or express our fears?

I think that, until you have really looked into the full madness of the TRA movement, it is difficult to comprehend. I don't think I would have believed anyone who tried to tell me about the cotton ceiling until I read it with my own eyes. So a fully clued-up GC woman (or man) trying to explain the whole TRA agenda to a non-clued up person is likely to come across as crazy and paranoid.

It's often more effective to focus on one aspect of the TRA movement that the person you are speaking to will understand. So I turned DM by talking about shared hospital wards, and I'm now working on my sporty SIL by talking about men taking women's medals.

I don't talk about it. My slight problem is that I'm GC, fine, but also am transphobic, to the point where I've had to stop one section of my work as I couldnt do it effectively. That's not fine and it makes me a poor vector for these ideas.

cooroo

We’re similar.

I’m 56 and became a feminist at uni. I can’t discuss these issues at all with my DD. She has just left home, though, and I’m thinking of writing to her to explain my views, in the hope that she can see that if people who have a history of supporting vulnerable and marginalised groups have concerns around what some of the developments mean for women and children, they may at least be worth listening to.

Just wondering... how old all you folk are who are having all these arguments with your family & friends?

30. My friends are about my age. My brother is 20 and currently at uni and he is a 'TERF' absolutely. He reckons near everyone he speaks to feels the same but darent speak out as they don't want to be known as transphobic...this gives me hope that not as many young people as we think swallow this shit. Just...fear of being branded transphobic is ruling all at the minute. Transactivists did very well ith that one didn't they. Made it so only allies could speak up.

I am not out as GC on Facebook because I have so many close gay friends, and I know that it would be interpreted as anti-LBGT: ironic as one of my main concerns about the TRA movement is that it is homophobic. Social media is different from having a conversation with someone, where you can gauge their own views and correct any misunderstandings as you go along.

I’m a leftie. Always have been. the closer I look into this the unhappier I am with the laws changing.

I’m 58. Yesterday my daughter said ‘mum you do sound a tiny bit transphobic’. She has good friends who are trans and I rather wish I did to help my understanding. I mentioned TRAs with weird views on lesbians and she just thought they were idiots and out of her experience. She thinks maybe I’ve been reading too much stuff online!

I'm mid thirties as is my DP.

My DD is 14 and fairly sensible on the matter. She has friends who are non-binary and she is absolutely respectful of their pronouns etc (to the point of defending them when anyone takes the piss) but she agrees that men cannot actually become women and sees the value of sex segregation in certain situations.

I think being gender critical is actually pretty common but a) the majority of people don't know wtf is going on until someone tells them and b) a LOT of people don't dare to be open about it because no matter how carefully you choose your words the repercussions can be foul

My dd disagrees with me, but agree to disagree. My dh is on board. My dad was surprised, I think this is a thing, when you're known for being liberal/left wing/progressive, but when I explained my concerns tony dad he understood, he had just never considered it from a woman's point of view.

Exactly.

This is why most of my friends these days are proper right wingers. They may not agree with you on a particular issue but so long as your respect their right to their own opinion they will respect yours.

One of my male GNC friends just wanted reassurance that I hadnt turned into a homophobe. Several right on male friends have privately messaged my to say they agree but wont say anything publicly, the cowards. I think I've got off lightly.
I'm late middle aged, the DC's are young adults, They've just missed the social contagion; they dont think men can become women. They dont think full bodied men should be put in womens prisons or hospital wards. I think it helps that one of them is gay, they supported him when he came out.

46. Friends range from mid 30s to mid 50s.

I'm menopausal, Smiling. Which obviously means I am an old witch and a second waver (sadly I'm not, a bit too young) and with any luck I will die soon. Or so say some edgy lib fem types.

I'm 47. Apparently it was a hot topic at the pub last night how mad I have gone with all my feminist stuff. My dh assures me once he'd explained everyone was onside.

I’ve lost two online communities - one that was very important to me a over it. I saw the way they shredded and cast out someone for questioning and it was horrible. I am sad to say I didn’t join the argument because quite clearly minds were angry and closed, so i just walked. I’ve kept a few friendships from there but lost the network.