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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Regardless of colour, do you think women's clothes are designed to make women look ridiculous?

139 replies

wrappedupinmyselflikeaspool · 26/10/2017 09:09

I notice it more and more as I get older and I certainly used to wear ridiculous clothes myself when I was younger, but I don't think the same applies to menswear.
I look around on the street, on the train etc. And notice that a majority of women's body shapes do not suit the way women's clothing is designed to be tight and body hugging, stretchy, bright, cut out, cut up, decorative and ornamented. Heels, make up and dyed and teased hair add to an overall slightly comic effect. The women have to fit the clothes not the other way round. A minority of women look goodish in this get up and a minority wear t shirt and trousers and flats, as the men do.
Menswear in comparison is mostly practical shirts, trousers, jumpers, flat shoes. I started buying jumpers and socks and occasionally shirts from the menswear section a while ago. They are so much nicer.

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DelphiniumBlue · 26/10/2017 19:57

I think the issue is, for me at least, I'd like just to wear trainers/DMs/Birkies/comfy shoes all the time, but the accepted view is that they are not appropriate for women for all occasions. Whereas men can look appropriate/smart/sexy even in their ordinary every day flat lace up shoes. I wish I didn't feel somehow 'less' in comfy shoes, but I do, and I think that is the result of how today's society sees women. If you don't wear heels/pointy shoes for corporate events, for weddings and parties, you are viewed as having given up/not caring/odd.
i was in Berlin last year, and noticed that women dress very differently there - mostly smart, but much more practical - flat shoes, trousers, less makeup. It was quite an eye-opener - even amongst young women, very few were in high heels, compared with the norm in London.

wrappedupinmyselflikeaspool · 26/10/2017 19:56

Thank you Milli that was a really interesting read. I think she has got round the way suits fit by wearing a size up in the jacket but I find that makes the sleeves massive for me. I'm quite short. Love the article though and I'll post it on Facebook later.

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spankhurst · 26/10/2017 19:51

I wore ballet flats all one summer and gave myself plantar fasciastis. Bloody agony.
I found this summer's clothes really ugly, on the whole.

wrappedupinmyselflikeaspool · 26/10/2017 19:42

Millifiori id love a link to that! I've been trying jackets on in Top man and Burtons for ages but they are the wrong shape. I'd wear a trouser suit with proper pockets to work definitely but probably not a tie. I do know several women who wear shirts and ties in a sort of ironic fashion way though and they look great.

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millifiori · 26/10/2017 19:40

I hate ballet flats. Need a bit of heel - it's more comfortable.

millifiori · 26/10/2017 19:39

I think it was this article. Really interesting reading. And does anyone else think she looks bloody gorgeous in it?

wrappedupinmyselflikeaspool · 26/10/2017 19:38

Yes, yes Lass you don't agree I get it, but we do and we are having fun discussing it. Why do you need to be so dismissive? We are not talking about your personal shoe choices but about culture, a broader phenomenon.

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millifiori · 26/10/2017 19:37

There was a wonderful article by a woman in a magazine a few months ago where she wore a trouser suit to work with a shirt and tie. It was cut to fit a woman but in all other respects, equivalent to a man's work wear. She said it was so comfortable. She never worried if she was revealing anything. She didn't have to juggle handbag and other stuff or remember to pick up her phone etc as there were roomy pockets everywhere. She felt empowered. there were photos of her and she looked absolutely bloody birlliant in it, imo. But at work loads of eyebrows were raised - especially by other women, as she was so against the grain of heels and skirts and tights. If I can find it, I'll link it. It made me long for a woman's man's suit iykwim.

wrappedupinmyselflikeaspool · 26/10/2017 19:35

Delphinium I can't wear ballet flats either but they are so ubiquitous I thought that was just me. Good to hear you don't find them comfortable but I wonder why so many women wear them?

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DelphiniumBlue · 26/10/2017 19:27

On the issue of ballet flats, they are not comfortable to wear all day for me, and they don't stay on when walking. They were fine when I was young, but now, not so much! And they are not good for your feet.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 26/10/2017 19:18

Why can't you be formal in ballet flats

And who says you can't? Or is this another example of feminist over exaggeration about how terrible it is to be a woman?

My work clothes are very formal/ super smart and tailored. I rarely wear a heel higher than a couple of centimetres. Not Birkenstocks (obviously I wouldn't be seen dead in them) It is perfectly possible to get smart, dressed up, flat shoes.

LassWiTheDelicateAir · 26/10/2017 19:13

I do think the answer to most foot problems is Doctor Marten

The most uncomfortable footwear I have owned by a considerable margin was a pair of Doc Marten boots. Awful and a huge waste of money.

I really can't take comments like "Women's shoes are generally awful" seriously. No they are not.

You don't like some of them - fair enough but this over- egging of "can't walk/ crippling" etc is so over done.

I don't wear particularly high heels, my shoes tend to be patent leather pumps or low heeled courts. They suit me, in every sense of the word.

wrappedupinmyselflikeaspool · 26/10/2017 19:06

Geek yes I wonder why weddings mean heels? Why can't you be formal in ballet flats or brogues or Mary Janes? I did Birkies to a wedding recently and I do look a bit odd on the photos. It was a gay wedding though so I don't think that counts Grin

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Gingernaut · 26/10/2017 19:02

Mxyzptlk and the sheer quantity of it! Shock

Once upon a time it was foundation, eyeshadow, lipstick, mascara and blusher.

Now it's a full moisurising routine, primer, concealers, foundation, contouring, eyeshadow, eyeliner, eyebrows (that's a whole 'regime in itself), blusher, wax lip liner to prevent 'feathering', multiple lip colours for different effects, bronzing and finish.

The sheer expense of a 'basic' make up look and the sheer amount of time girls and women are expected to put in is appalling.

The pressure to get it right is disgusting.

DelphiniumBlue · 26/10/2017 19:00

WrappedUp you are right, I've lived in Birkenstocks for the last several summers, and have just found some lovely soft suede DMs. But they are not smart, you couldn't wear them in a corporate environment ( not that I do, any more, but it's an issue for us all).

wrappedupinmyselflikeaspool · 26/10/2017 18:59

Yes Mx those pictures were so strange. How is it daring to go to ithout make up? I think we just get used to the look of ourselves in it. But to others, they see the make up before they see the face.

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geekaMaxima · 26/10/2017 18:56

Women's shoes are generally awful. Hate them. I refuse point blank to wear any sort of heels, both because I'm not fond of foot torture and because I'm uncomfortable with their sexualised associations in a professional or social setting.

It's not an issue for me at work, thankfully, but weddings are more difficult. It seems to be seen as socially odd or unacceptable to wear flats with a dress to a wedding ConfusedSad

wrappedupinmyselflikeaspool · 26/10/2017 18:56

Ah thank you ginger yes I meant Stead and Simpson. I've had a long day Confused

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Mxyzptlk · 26/10/2017 18:56

I feel the same about women in makeup, especially young women who are gorgeous anyway.

Remember the "daring" makeup-free pictures a little while ago? I thought most of the people (women) looked much better without the makeup.

wrappedupinmyselflikeaspool · 26/10/2017 18:54

Yes Delphinium, a business look is high heels. Are they seen as smart? Luckily I don't work in that kind of business.
I used to love striding about in heels. I feel like I'm in drag now.

I do think the answer to most foot problems is Doctor Marten or Birkenstock though Grin

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Gingernaut · 26/10/2017 18:51

Stead & Simpson?

Timpson do shoe repairs, key cutting, door signs and watch straps.

wrappedupinmyselflikeaspool · 26/10/2017 18:50

I second that! Some Dyke for president of M&S clothing and Timpsons shoes. (Is that still a thing?)

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DelphiniumBlue · 26/10/2017 18:48

"Feet are a feminist issue, where can I find a good rad-fem chiropodist??????????"

Absolutely, I couldn't agree more!
I spend so much time trying to find flat shoes with decent soles and of an adequate width, but which are also reasonably presentable. And trying to find any that work with a dress is nigh impossible.
I've had massive arguments with people about this, my POV is that it is the pressure from society to look "sexy" which pushes women into wearing high/pointy/.thin shoes. I don't think women would want to wear uncomfortable shoes were it not for the expectation that they are somehow "less" if they don't conform to the stereotype of a successful, sexy woman. If you watch a programme like " The Apprentice" you'll see that it is assumed that business dress includes high court shoes, which are just so impractical.
There was a recent case where a woman fought a company's diktat that she should wear heels and tights as part of business attire - can't recall the detail, but it was the first time I have seen this debated.

Gingernaut · 26/10/2017 18:44

I'm with SomeDyke. Although I'm not a lesbian. Blush

Wide, fat, flat, little feet and an increasing shopping list of things wrong with them, I live in trainers.

Socks which keep falling down, clothes without pockets, thinner, less practical coats with hoods that don't stay on in the wind, tops with gaping necklines that require nude coloured underwear and useless, stupid handbags.

I say we vote SomeDyke to be head of M&S Clothing division! Grin

I go to Shuropody, btw. Blush

wrappedupinmyselflikeaspool · 26/10/2017 18:33

Mrs Terry Pratchet I also saw someone this morning in the rain when I was walking to work. After I started this thread. A couple in their 50s walking their dog. Man in dark green wellies, black thick fabric trousers, light grey waterproof jacket. Woman in baby pink wellies with flowers on, light yellow thin canvas trousers. Soaked through at the knees. Showerproof fashion jacket, a sort of imitation of the outdoor gear the man was wearing, too short to cover her hips, pink/purple colour.

The thing is, she could have bought something more practical but I think there is pressure even in your fifties to buy clothes that are feminine, even when that's not appropriate. Like women look ugly if they are sensibly dresses whereas I think it's the other way round.
I'm not kidding when I say that lately even very attractive young women wearing loads of make up and decorative clothing seem really weird looking to me. If I get talking to someone dressed like that I can't stop noticing the whole performance. I wonder if it's partly my age because I have better things to do with my time these days, so I'm used to the way I look. Natural. Comfortable. Not scruffy. Sometimes groomed but never done up. But I also wonder if it's the whole gendered culture thing, within which trans women have changed the conversation about maintaining a feminine surface. I think the emergence of trans ideology has made me more sensitive to how performative gender is and how artificial.

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