Small and random acts of feminism

Plus I automatically don't have to put up with male masturbatory fantasies featuring gorgeous young women who are knicker-droppingly attracted to middle-aged male academics/police detectives/writers (ticking off Dan Brown, every crime novel ever, and a lot of so-called literary fiction).

On this theme, a diet of women’s fiction would have spared me Howard Jacobson’s Finkler Question. What could possibly be less interesting to a female reader than male masturbatory fantasies, I hear you ask. Pages and pages of middle-aged self-absorption and self-flagellation. That’s several evenings I’ll never get back. (Reading club choice, alas.)

I call all women (if I'm not on first name terms) Ms.

I also say woman instead of girl, if the woman is an adult.

Sometimes, in work, if I'm speaking to someone, I will refer to their line manager as 'she', and let them correct me that it's a man. Just to do a lite bit to overcome the expectation that the more senior people are men which they usually are.

Sometimes in meetings, when men talk over women, I specifically address my questions to the woman to make sure we get to hear what she's trying to say.

In my own personal life, I make it very clear that DH and I are sharing the parenting equally.

I also make sure I'm the one to speak with car salespeople (men) or trades people (again, men) and discuss the finances, despite them addressing DH when I'm standing right there, asking the questions.

Daisy Raine, no, this IS feminism. equslity is not about everything being the same but about addressing disadvantage. Feminism is about prioritising women and girls so a feminist act would prioritise women and girls. This doesn't prevent other acts from being carried out that prioritise men and boys or neither sex but it does go some way towards addressing the disadvantage that women suffer in professional life. Feminism can also mean a broader prioritising of difference and disadvantage that stems from class, race, economic status and disability. So when I am putting a data base or any kind of list together I always make sure to include as many women as possible but also as many people from different backgrounds as posible.
It's ok to do this because the odds are stacked high against women and girls and other 'differences' because more typically we are constantly confronted with lists that exclude us. This doesn't harm men and boys because they also benefit from seeing and being exposed to the work and perspectives of a diverse range of people.

Just noticed one, when I am writing a “Dear Sir/Madam” letter I always write “Dear Madam/Sir”

I support women artists when buying gifts. You can get some really lovely things on Etsy for under a tenner. And I always leave feedback, lots of people dont bother but it does help their shop.

I remind people feminism isnt about equality for the sexes; we are not identical and dont have the same needs. Its about liberation and agency for women. And that we do not have, not anywhere.

Great idea for a thread. I teach in a girls' school and feel I could do much more than I do. I am chronically scared of expressing my opinion on anything. My resolution for the new half term is to put up some inspirational quotes by Audre Lorde around my room (for my benefit as well as the girls') and speak up whenever I hear a member of staff describing girls as bitchy/holding grudges/leading boys on etc. (Depressingly common) My longer term project is to do an audit of how women and black women in particular (students mainly African) are on the curriculum.

Excellent thread topic OP.

I'm not sure if it counts but I make sure I always refer to women aged 18 or over as women (never "girls"). Doubtless many people would see this as a non-issue but it's so commonplace for adult women to be referred to as "girls" and to me it's symptomatic of the infantilising and belittling of women.

I also try to make sure I never assume "he" for anything (my mum does for so many jobs, including dentists even though she is one herself). Not sure if talking to younger girls at school about feminism when I get the chance and trying to help them deal with street harassment etc beginning counts (not that I have answers but just try to support the ones I speak to generally).

When dealing with couples during the course of my job, I update the woman on how things are going as my main contact.

At school I address all correspondence/concerns to the deputy head, a woman, rather than Straight To The Head - a man. She's been there longer anyway and knows more about the school and has better interpersonal skills with the parents.

When sending cards to couples I put the woman's name first. I've done that for years. It always irritated that the default for couples was the man first.

That's not feminism. It's patronising. Feminism is supposed to be about gender equality not giving women advantages over men. As a woman I say that you can take you 'femenist' acts and sove them up the arse of the late 90's where they belong.

I support my my children's toy/clothing/cartoon choices (both boys, both with very different interests - both with some more traditionally feminine likes).

I make sure that I complement children on what they're doing, not how they dress, and I talk to them about a range of subjects. I give presents to a child based on something active that I think they would like (tool sets, microscope etc) rather than based on stereo types.

I don't shave or wear makeup, I dress practically and make sure my boys know that I'm as normal as a more glamorously dressed woman.

I make sure that my children see me doing DIY and their dad cooking/cleaning.

I'm with you on reading female writers as a small act of feminism. The Guardian recently ran an analysis into the past Booker Prize winners, and found that books by men were much more likely to win, followed by books about men. Books by women about women were seen as less serious fiction, regardless of their content. This follows the findings of a study of book prizes in general and of book reviews in literary supplements and newspapers. Do we still need the Women's Prize? Yes, because sexism leads to men's novels being taken more seriously, reviewed more widely and judged more leniently than women's. A BAME Prize was set up last year to account for the similarly depressing fact that writers of colour are also discriminated against. By reading the bestseller list, you can read more novels set in New York than Africa, Asia, Australia and Eastern Europe combined.

Also, I tend to find that novels by women are well-written and interesting, so I'm not missing out in my literature. Plus I automatically don't have to put up with male masturbatory fantasies featuring gorgeous young women who are knicker-droppingly attracted to middle-aged male academics/police detectives/writers (ticking off Dan Brown, every crime novel ever, and a lot of so-called literary fiction).

Let my D'S play in my shoes and nail varnish whenever he likes and tell him he looks pretty

Back up women in meetings at work to give them confidence to express their views

Don't wear make up

Made an effort to stop talking about weight every 5 mins.

I’m not denigrating anything, I love that she pulls them on it 😂

I guess it’s because she knows male nurses and female nurses, male Drs and female Drs.

I think Doc McStuffins should take some credit though, my kid is never without a plastic stethoscope since watching that 😂

They see my DD playing Drs/Nurses and they say “would you like to be a nurse when you grow up?” & she replies “I would rather be a Doctor.”

Is this a scenario that comes up regularly?

They see my DD playing Drs/Nurses and they say “would you like to be a nurse when you grow up?” & she replies “I would rather be a Doctor.”

Which is fine as long as you don't mean to denigrate a traditionally female profession.

I will read properly in the morning.
My small act of feminism is every time someone tries to gender a profession pulling them on it. They see my DD playing Drs/Nurses and they say “would you like to be a nurse when you grow up?” & she replies “I would rather be a Doctor.”

I love that shit 😁

I carry a black permanent marker pen to deface any "men working overhead" signs I can reach.

thewomensresourcecentre.org.uk/resources/womens-inequality/
Some interesting (and very detailed) reading about inequality in Britain if you'd like to have a look Daisy

My small acts centre around employing women through the sale of my flat wherever possible.

Interactions with men (lawyers, surveyors, estate agents) have been mostly hideous. So this time I am seeking out women where I can. They may it may not be any better (though thus far they are) but at least interactions with them aren't constantly peppered with sexism and patronising remarks.

I'm also inspired to write an article in why housing is a feminist issue - but not sure I CBA.

It was in response to https://www.theguardian.com/books/2013/sep/27/author-david-gilmour-female-writers this]. I’m just reading his share for him

This thread is about small and random acts of feminism.

No Daisy you would vote for the party that would do the most to elevate women's status in society. may and the Tories are very clearly not that party.

I don't want to be equal with men. I don't want to see men equally raped, sexually exploited, unpaid and overlooked as women are. I don't want to see 2 men a week killed by an intimate partner. I don't want men to be increasingly judged on the size of their pecs and forced to wear heels to work.

I want to be liberated from living in a society lead by rape culture, free to have an abortion should I want one without the medical procedure being approved by 2 doctors for me. I want my daughters to be free to study whatever the fuck they want and be able to wear flat shoes to work if they chose to because they are judged by their deeds and not their appearance. I want them to be safe from make sexual violence in their lives.

Feminism isn't about being the same as men. It's about being free to live as a woman in the world. Not controlled by men or on men's terms. Equality doesn't mean " the same". Clearly men and women are quite different physically. It's about women having true meaningful equal access to power, wealth, politics, and personal choice. It's about being liberated from living a life through the lens of the male gaze, and from being the "other" in society.