Small and random acts of feminism

Lost that was my teenage reply when told there would never be a woman president as 'menapause' i pointed out bc testoerone didn't do anyone any favours. I don't much like that now as an adult, implies he had no control. I don't like images of poundong vagina's for rapey images it throws up. I tend to tell people to find a fucking spine already.

Re hormones- i have pmdd, and the hormonal changes worsen other disabilities at this time also. Imo this is the base line, so this is the reasonable standard as opposed to the rest of the month being normal and this beimg irrational. So if i can't cope with something at pmt time then the rest of the time i am being too fucking accomedating and need to stop being that way. Does that help any?

With regards to the op i am that parent loudly sayong watch for the green person when forcing kids to wait at traffic lights. No doubt i've been slated on aibu for 'performance parenting'.

I am also secretly thrilled my girls see my dh doing more cleaning, bringing me breakfast and other cading duties. He bakes with them also. And we have a male cleaner, male tutor and female gardener. All my choice, albeit not intensionally based on sex but i like that my girls see these role reversals in our home.

badbadhusky - glad I skipped that one! But I did read American Pastoral by Philip Roth which sounds very similar - you can bet that a novel by a woman featuring a 50-something woman pondering ponderously on the meaning of life for 500 pages would not be hailed as a modern classic!

I make my CEO OH check that there is equality of pay between the sexes in whatever organisation he's working in and address it if needs be. Not that I need to 'make' him per se, as he's pretty hot on this stuff but he's in a position of influence and I get him to fight the corner too.

viso

I love the narnia series great for good female leads (polly/Lucy/Aravis/Jill)

And I actually quite like that the 'baddies' are women.

I refer to the green person instead of the green man when crossing the road.

Once, I responded to someone telling someone else to "grow some balls" by saying "balls are pretty fragile, you should try growing a vagina as they can take a pounding“

I’ve recently had a conversation with my eighteen year old daughter regarding the fact that men (and sadly also some women) sometimes remark on it being “that time of the month” any time a woman is seen to be standing up for herself or not jumping into line as is expected of her.

Between us we decided that we could reply that even if women were “hormonal” once a month, some men were filled with testosterone all the time, and are thus permanently assholes.

I hate that women are considered to be irrational because “hormones” yet there is little doubt they can have an effect. I fight so hard to be utterly rational at all times so nobody can accuse me of this, but there are times when it is really hard work. Does anyone have a better take on it?

Work colleague recently moved in with boyfriend. She was going on about him "helping" her with housework. How he would do the vacuuming "for her". Had a chat to her and the whole team about this. They had all brought ideas about housework from their homes. It was great to see the lightbulb go on in their heads and lead them to think differently about responsibilities of co-ha biting early in their relationship.

YY to human instead of man.

I always try to use gender neutral nouns; - police officer, fire fighter, postie, etc.

I've also been recently dabbling with "womyn" :)

I love this thread. I think all these little things are so important. I try to refer to pirates/astronauts/soldiers/scientists etc as she when playing with my DS unless it’s obviously a man. It does feel weird when you first start but you get used to it! Keep telling him I don’t like pink too when he tries to give me the pink toy/make me be the pink character.

I try to use and make people use human instead of man. As in man made, for example.

I teach in HE and I think it's important.

This thread has really made me think. I also sent out a few letters this week to Madam/Sir and it felt great! Also enjoyed questioning a new software provider who were pitching to us...why on earth did they need to have male and female figures (completely irrelevant to the purpose of the software) and why was the lady in a dress? Awkward silence.

Anyway it’s inspired me to try and make small changes, thank you.

I try never to refer to adult women as "girls". This is surprisingly tricky when talking about my friends.

I think it's incredible how ingrained referring to adult women as "girls" is by many, especially individual women. As you allude to, it's to the extent that it can sometimes feel odd to say "the woman" when people routinely say "girl", yet no-one would ever say "the boy" for a man of the same age and it'd be perfectly natural to say "man". I think this is important - males are afforded the status of "man" at 18 (sometimes even before with "young man" - I've even heard one of my brothers being referred to as such) yet women are still referred to as "girls" well into adulthood.

Does praising my female cat for being a fierce little tiger count?

Definitely!

I try never to refer to adult women as "girls". This is surprisingly tricky when talking about my friends.
I pick up on every single sexist comment made in front of me, whether casual or not.
I never comment on the appearance or sexuality of anyone in public life.
I always use female pronouns when talking about a real or hypothetical person of unknown sex.
I put couples' names in strictly alphabetical order.
Does praising my female cat for being a fierce little tiger count?

Choosing books for my 9 year old DS. He normally gets a new book at least for Christmas and his birthday. I put books away where boys have adventures with boys. What I am looking for are books where girls and boys have adventures, preferably with a female central character and more than one girl (and nothing that involves horses and boarding schools, as they mostly fail in featuring boy characters). I hope this sets DS up against the stream of films and books where boys and other male characters have adventures with boys and other male characters, sometimes with a token girl or female character thrown in (of which mum mostly stays at home).

I’ll use those ones in future too seren

I added “she” and “her” to my DD’s tricky/high frequency word list. It only had he and him. Trying to get her reception teacher to add it to everyone’s....

That’s a much better reply sonic thanks!

I know I could do a lot more because I work in a sexist place that doesn’t like challenge and any of this is a drop in the ocean.. but, I use Ms as the default when I don’t know what title a woman uses.
I include a woman’s professional title if she has one -Dr X, Prof X when introducing her to anyone or discussing her work.
Try to find female contractors where possible.
If describing a hypothetical exemplar scenario of a person at work, unless it would be incorrect I try to use a female (adult or child) exemplar as the default.
I change sexist etc descriptors or characters that have been included when preparing text for work (and obviously at home if reading to children who aren’t following the written text).
Help younger women at work when I can and big their work up to other (senior, male) colleagues.

I love that quote and use it too. Can’t remember where it came from originally. I like to say cunt though instead. Love the word cunt .

Gender neutral options preferable for me though - “grow up”, “get adulting”, “get some guts”, “brave face”, “grown up pants on” etc.

I call people (even women) out when they use male phrases such as man up and grow a pair.

I always say "woman up".

Once, I responded to someone telling someone else to "grow some balls" by saying "balls are pretty fragile, you should try growing a vagina as they can take a pounding".

I find the dogs in the park thing a bit weird! Usually, I look for a penis and if it has one, I say 'he'. If not, 'she'. unless the dog identifies as the opposite gender

I call people (even women) out when they use male phrases such as man up and grow a pair.

I suggest only female academics when asked for suggestions for conference keynotes. The number of "manels" (all-male panels) and male-dominated panels in my field is ridiculous and not representative of the quality researchers out there.

I make sure my DC know that liking colours is about personality, not about being a boy or girl. So DS1 has a pink t-shirt because he likes pink, and I don't have pink clothes because I don't like pink, and that's all ok.

I regularly recommend female authors to people I know have a heavy diet of male authors. Female protagonists are a harder sell than female authors, mind, but I'm working on it...

My resolution for the new half term is to put up some inspirational quotes by Audre Lorde around my room (for my benefit as well as the girls')

Eleanor Rossevelt is highly quotable and very wise. Here are a few examples (multiple writers) that I’ve picked up over the years.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticised anyway. Eleanor Roosevelt

“You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

Your job is not to be likeable. Your job is to be your fullest self - Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women ― Maya Angelou

If you think something is missing in your life or you're not getting what you deserve, remember there is no yellow brick road to happiness. You lead life; it doesn't lead you." Oprah Winfrey

Audrey Hepburn: "You can tell more about a person by what they say about others than you can by what others say about them".

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
Anais Nin

"I only know that I am called a feminist when I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat". ~ Rebecca West

Not a female writer, but I also like this one:

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition - Timothy Leary