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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Giles Coren on Weinstein and what a terrible shame it is that women have to power to ruin a sex pest's career

235 replies

HeyRoly · 20/10/2017 23:12

Twitter thread and screenshots for those not on Twitter.

twitter.com/jonathanshainin/status/921424322455068673

I have to say I'm biased and I've always loathed Coren, but holy fucking shit...

Giles Coren on Weinstein and what a terrible shame it is that women have to power to ruin a sex pest's career
Giles Coren on Weinstein and what a terrible shame it is that women have to power to ruin a sex pest's career
Giles Coren on Weinstein and what a terrible shame it is that women have to power to ruin a sex pest's career
OP posts:
Bloomed · 21/10/2017 00:57

What an ass.

alltheworld · 21/10/2017 00:51

Why is the age gap widening as he gets older? Is he unable to flirt with someone close in age. And the just touching is awful.

Somerville · 21/10/2017 00:39

God, I actually think that's worse.

Part of his point seems to be that when he felt young and hot (seriously, Giles? Hmm) women liked him flirting with them. But now he's older, and young women he fancies are more aware of power imbalances, so women might falsely accuse him of being a predator.

Giles, if a man's behaviour is sexually aggressive, it doesn't matter how attractive he is or his age. It's still sexually aggressive and the women he has victimised, for the cheap thrill, will be thinking of it when they write #MeToo. But don't worry, very few of them have the confidence and power to make public, or official, the name of the man who behaved thus. Hmm

The bit about not stopping shagging because it would be impolite is disgusting, too. I think this thread might need a trigger warning actually. (Maybe Harvey Weinstein and Giles Coren in the title is warning enough?)

Finally, isn't he married? His poor wife.

sleeponeday · 21/10/2017 00:36

I suppose because I have always signed off letters and emails with kisses, to both girls and boys. But mostly to girls. And I’ve never meant anything by it. They are only crosses tapped thoughtlessly twice on a keyboard. But they still do mean “kiss, kiss”, and I wouldn’t put them on an email to the editor. I don’t really want to drop a smooch on young Melanie. Do I?

And at that moment I realised the time had come to start being more careful about who I make out that I want to kiss. For we live in a post-Weinstein world now. And we already did, before Weinstein. Though nobody told Weinstein.

A man realises that he probably should treat a younger woman in his industry in a professional manner. WHAT A HIDEOUS INJUSTICE! WOE IS HE, FOR THE WORLD IS ENDING!

Is he fucking serious?

sleeponeday · 21/10/2017 00:33

Half everyone's female friendslist is Me Too, and within days men start fretting that it's awfully unfair on them. As reliable as clockwork.

EBearhug · 21/10/2017 00:31

At no point has he thought, "I won't put xx because it would make me look unprofessional." It's not clear if he's ever even met her face-to-face. Even the people I get in really well with at work, I manage to keep work mails professional. It's possible to keep the xx bits just for non-work mails, and if you don't know someone well enough to send them non-work mails, then just leave out xx. The sky will not fall in, and none of this is difficult to understand.

And in general, it's okay to smile at people in the street, particularly if you're not discriminating on age or sex. If you're only smiling at young women, maybe you should think about what that says.

JigglyTuff · 21/10/2017 00:29

That's still grim as fuck. Being 'attractive' doesn't mean your advances are any less unwelcome.

And Victoria isn't all that either. She wrote a really shitty apologetic piece about Polanski too iirc

AnyFucker · 21/10/2017 00:26

It's a clear message to the whining gasbags

Don't harass women and no harm will come to you. Go about your business giving women the respect you give yourself. No need for this self flagellating self pitying bullshit. You can sleep at night not worrying that random women will wreck your career in one fell swoop. While Trump and his ilk can still get elected, you remain safe.Enough already.

Trueheart1 · 21/10/2017 00:26

I never really took the time before to think about the true victims of sexual assault, powerful men who just want to flirt. Poor Giles, this metoo campaign must be very damaging to him. I hope women who have spoken publicly about being sexually assaulted, realise the damage they have done to older, flirtatious men and hang their heads in shame.

trainedopossum · 21/10/2017 00:25

'One misfired flirt and I could be out of a job, publicly shunned, end up in prison. The women are out there who could make it happen. '

I would like to know where these women are 'who could make it happen' because so far Cosby, Allen, Weinstein et al are roaming free after literally dozens of accusations including very serious rape allegations (ie not 'just touching' whatever that means). Cosby and Allen at least are still flogging their wares (and despite losing his job Weinstein's films are still out there making money) and very much not in prison.

AnyFucker · 21/10/2017 00:20

Mixing some self deprecating "I used to be sexy but now I'm not boo hoo" bollocks in thete doesnt chsnge the message

He's pissed off at what a "post weinstein" world might look like to a few more people. That good guys like him might get called out for "smiling at women"

It's nothing about that and the whining gas bags like him bemoaning how unfair it all is know it

theendisnotnigh · 21/10/2017 00:14

Here's the complete article so people can judge for themselves. I thought it was rather tedious and uninteresting - but it's not the outrageous statement that the selective twitter snapshot suggests.

"Now I am old, grey and losing muscle tone, over-familiar emails and workplace flirting are likely to leave women repulsed

A few days a woman called Melanie emailed from The Times to ask me to write an article about something or other. I never much fancy extra work but the deadline was a way off and it was only short and she was new to the paper, so I wrote back: “Yes, of course, I’d be happy to do a piece.” And then I wrote: “xx Giles.”

And then I went to hit “send”. But as my finger hovered over the key, I found myself looking down at those x’s in a way I have never looked at x’s before.

And I wondered suddenly why I was sending this unmet young woman the globally accepted lexicographical symbol for the pressing of one’s lips to the lips of another.

I suppose because I have always signed off letters and emails with kisses, to both girls and boys. But mostly to girls. And I’ve never meant anything by it. They are only crosses tapped thoughtlessly twice on a keyboard. But they still do mean “kiss, kiss”, and I wouldn’t put them on an email to the editor. I don’t really want to drop a smooch on young Melanie. Do I?

And at that moment I realised the time had come to start being more careful about who I make out that I want to kiss. For we live in a post-Weinstein world now. And we already did, before Weinstein. Though nobody told Weinstein.

Over the last few years, man after man in the public eye has met his downfall when a woman came forward and made claims against him of sexual aggression of one sort or another.

It’s time for me to stop smiling back at young women in the street
And when one female accuser comes out, more come. Inevitable as the rain. Sometimes it is hundreds, as with Weinstein. And then without any cross-examination of the stories, the man is finished. No trials or second chances. Even if nobody said “rape”. Even if it was just touching, or saying things, or simply standing there in a bathrobe being an ugly fat old slob, looking as if you would quite like to have sex (a crime of which I myself am frequently guilty), the man is finished.

And rightly, I suppose. Women have suffered sexual microaggressions (and macro ones) at the hands of men for thousands of years. All of them, from what I can make out, by all of us. And I don’t want to run the slightest risk of being seen to have any part in any of it any more.

Melanie asked me to write a piece for The Times. She didn’t ask to be unexpectedly metaphorically snogged. She did not ask to be backed into the corner of an imaginary party and have some old man’s crackly lips pressed figuratively up against her own. Why did I want to put kisses?

I think I must accept that in part it was because I sometimes think I am still a bit sexy. That Melanie might want to be kissed by me. It is a mistake many men make as they get older, not noticing that they have become unattractive and that gestures which might once have been seen as charming have gradually become revolting. Like the proverbial toad in a saucepan of water, warming slowly and unwittingly towards its inevitable death.

I was a nice-looking boy, once upon a time. I didn’t smell or have unsightly body hair, and girls sometimes did want to kiss me, and said so. So I kissed them. And from time to time I kissed girls who worked with me. Sometimes we had sex. They were usually younger than me (not always, but mostly) and as time went on, the age gap between them and me widened.

Historic crimes, real or imagined, will tumble upon one wrong move
I am as certain as a man can be that I never touched a woman who didn’t want me to. But I suppose one or two of them might have mistakenly thought that shagging me could in some way end up proving useful. Although I would put my eyes out now, here, all over my iPad, if I thought a woman had ever had sex with me because she thought she had to. (I’m not counting anyone who might have shagged me just to be polite. We’ve surely all done that: got to the point where stopping now would simply look rude and just gritted our teeth and pushed on through.)

But I am old and grey now and losing muscle tone and it would be nothing but the ridiculous vanity of a withered ego to assume any young woman wanted to kiss me, unless she thought it might get her a job. Which it sadly wouldn’t.

So I think it’s time to put it all away. Time to stop smiling back at women in the street who are only smiling because they’ve seen me on the telly, not because they think I’m hot.

Time to stop being “charming” to waitresses. Time to stop trying to make women laugh. I like making women laugh more than I like making men laugh. Partly because the hot gust of a woman’s breath when she does so is rarely as punishing as a man’s, and partly because of the old saw about women finding funny men sexy. Ooh, she laughed: she fancies me.

That’s got to end now. No more jokes. And no more half-smiles across parties that used (I think) to look beguiling, but now look like Fagin ogling an unguarded farthing.

No more wearing nice shirts and doing my hair and standing up straight and trying to look manly. No more being just a tiny bit ruder than other men as if maybe I’m dangerous in bed (I’m not). Weinstein has spoiled all that.

One misfired flirt and I could be out of a job, publicly shunned, end up in prison. The women are out there who could make it happen. The historical crimes, real or imagined, are waiting to tumble upon one wrong move.

Ping out a couple of unwanted crosses into the ether and the world could fall on my head. And possibly rightly. I no longer feel morally competent to judge.

So no kisses today, but thank you very much, Melanie, for the commission. Yes, I’ll do it. And good luck in the new job.

All the best,

Giles."

April229 · 21/10/2017 00:14

The bit where he writes...”even if it’s just touching...” TF?

AnyFucker · 21/10/2017 00:11

I found Victoria to be a little wet when she was on the Last Leg recently, tbh

Not her job to put him right though. Nor to minimise for him either.

theendisnotnigh · 21/10/2017 00:11

It's worth pointing out that the paragraph underneath the two quoted above reads:
And rightly, I suppose. Women have suffered sexual microaggressions (and macro ones) at the hands of men for thousands of years. All of them, from what I can make out, by all of us. And I don’t want to run the slightest risk of being seen to have any part in any of it any more."*
Which of course puts a completely different slant on what he said.

AnyFucker · 21/10/2017 00:10

He also yaps about how his wife must lose weight quickly after pregnancy. And how the holiday he had alone with his pre school daughter was the "sexiest" one he ever had.

Says the short legged little arsewinder

He will be googling this Wink

MorrisZapp · 21/10/2017 00:08

Victoria has tweeted that its misquoted and that the heart of the piece is in the right place.

BellaNoche · 21/10/2017 00:00

Giles Coren is a mediocre jobbing journo who writes any old scummy crap for a few bob.
twitter.com/EveSimmns/status/921458256685555715

MissFitton · 20/10/2017 23:55

Fucking hell.

I really hope Victoria kicks his arse. Not that it's her responsibility - but, y'know, bloody hell.

nauticant · 20/10/2017 23:49

It turns out that Giles Coren is a bigger arsehole than I'd thought. This is not a surprise.

Somerville · 20/10/2017 23:48

He's also frothing at a woman who has said he sounds like a sex pest. He seems to think that she's the one who has spoken out of turn. Hmm

Giles Coren I have no idea whether you're a sex pest, but writing "just touching" in a national newspaper doesn't make you "clumsy". It makes you a sexual assault apologist.

AnyFucker · 20/10/2017 23:48

www.spiked-online.com/newsite/article/metoo-seeing-sexual-harassment-everywhere/20433#.Wep8OvfTXZE

This fucking stupid woman is at it too

Somerville · 20/10/2017 23:43

Can't find it. Probably behind paywall.

This is one of his tweets from this evening, when a woman challenged him in "just touching".

Yeah, the ‘just’ was a mistake. I only meant to provide a scale of sex crimes, not to belittle the crime of touching. That was clumsy.

Fucker.
He really doesn't get it.

eyeswideshit · 20/10/2017 23:37

Is there a link to the full article?

A lot on twitter stating the screenshots have been taken out of context

deydododatdodontdeydo · 20/10/2017 23:37

Wtf? Thankfully his sister Victoria is awesome. I hope she kicks his arse for this.