The UK is officially an intolerant hellhole for transwomen

"Butter I would assume you don't 'care' who you have sex with? There isn't attraction, it's just the biological need, sometimes people would just masturbate."

This is fairly typical sexual behaviour for many people, no? I think plenty of people have sex with an available person without finding them particularly sexually attractive, just not actively unattractive.

"Butter I would assume you don't 'care' who you have sex with? There isn't attraction, it's just the biological need, sometimes people would just masturbate."

"Olennas I mean...I don't have either? But like, I guess you're horny but not for a specific person/type of person, it could be anyone or yourself, you just need the release."

This is precisely why I made the link with pornification earlier on. Because I don't think anyone outside of a porn movie actually does work this way. Even the sort of bloke who has bought into the pornified view of the world still makes a distinction between women he'd shag and women he doesn't even see. I simply don't believe there are people out there who'd stick it into any warm body regardless. I don't think anyone's sexuality works that way. (And loops, as an asexual I don't think you're the best placed person to speculate that that is how sexual attraction does or can work).

Loops, is there a classification / name for a person who wants to have lots of sex?

Half the uber and bus drivers in Wellington seem to be trans, not to mention a significant portion of retail workers+, so maybe it is a safe haven here.

+slight exaggeration

This thread is the weirdest thread ever. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone

Butter I would assume you don't 'care' who you have sex with? There isn't attraction, it's just the biological need, sometimes people would just masturbate.

Olennas I mean...I don't have either? But like, I guess you're horny but not for a specific person/type of person, it could be anyone or yourself, you just need the release.

I guess if you're in a romantic relationship with someone and they are happy to have sex with you, then great, but you are not gonna be sexually attracted to that person. Which as discussed previously, isn't a great basis for a relationship/sex life.

How do you have a high libido but not sexual attraction?

Apparently you. Just. Can.

Shh! Don't question the logic or you're invalidating the identity/erasing them/saying they don't exist.

they just experience constant judgement and prejudice because they don't conform to norms
Everyone suffers judgement and prejudice if they talk about their sex life. It's like parenting. Everyone thinks tgeir way is the best way.
The reality is it's really not that interesting to people who don't want sex with you.

How do you have a high libido but not sexual attraction?

This is just ridiculous. Sorry, just ridiculous:
Asexuality is not 'not having sex' it is not experiencing sexual attraction, asexual people can have libido and this can be low or high just like anyone else. You can want sex, without being sexually attracted to someone (or so I've heard lol I'm a don't-want-sex ace)

So how do you determine who to have sex with? Would that person have sex with the elephant man just to fulfil a biological need to dust off the libido?

It also sounds faintly similar to the argument men have about their uncontrollable sexual desires. They wank into prostitutes who they don't care about whether there's reciprocal desire.

It's all just ridiculous.

butter no, we should be working to a point where everyone is accepted for their identities and choices, when those identities and choices don't harm someone else. We're just not there yet. I would be mad as hell if someone was discriminated against at a place where I worked for choosing not to shave, or for not wanting to wear a skirt or heels.

I'm glad you asked that Quentin - I too am

So what you're saying is you don't have a choice about your asexuality (which in my opinion doesn't demonstrably lead to discrimination and abuse, even when disclosed)
BUT I have a choice about having hairy legs (which demonstrably make me discriminated against and abused, if shown).

It all sounds a lot like "women should identify out of their oppression and the patriarchy problem's solved!" Ta da!

quentin romantically

Quentin Ok, fine, they don't experience discrimination, they just experience constant judgement and prejudice because they don't conform to norms in either straight or LGB communities.

Butter When I came out to my friends and family (the non-ace friends) I got asked if I had "seen a doctor because that's not normal", laughed at, asked if that meant I was like a plant, asked 'but don't you want children', told that it didn't exist, and asked if I had seen a counsellor. That is not an uncommon experience. Additionally, when asked, other orientations do not view asexuality favourably, for similar reasons.

"I wonder how many socially inept and spectrummy young women identify as asexual nowadays because they don't understand flirting or find it weird/contrived (as I did)?" I'll admit I probably got unnecessarily cross about this comment and twisted it, sorry about that, it was just frustrating that you made it seem that asexual people are just saying that because they're inept and 'on the spectrum'. If there are ace people on the spectrum, it doesn't invalidate their sexuality, and would you say that if they were gay?

"Also, are you claiming asexual people do choose to have sex? Surely they are coerced then?" While some asexual people experience sexual violence (of which coercion is a form) some asexual people do choose to have sex. Asexuality is not 'not having sex' it is not experiencing sexual attraction, asexual people can have libido and this can be low or high just like anyone else. You can want sex, without being sexually attracted to someone (or so I've heard lol I'm a don't-want-sex ace)

Flora typical Tumblrites would never advocate for leg hair because it's an icky woman's biology thing (objectified as bad by the patriarchy but they don't acknowledge that).
Identity is determined by things/problems solved by late capitalism, like coloured hair dye, make up, jewellery, shaving implements. Anyone who criticises them is called a white feminist who is ignoring their privilege.

It's all so Hunger Games. The dun coloured people are staring through the gates with fascinated horror.

I like girls with dark hair, doesn't mean my orientation has to do with that
How do you like girls with dark hair if you don't feel sexual attraction?

Datun well that depends, are the people you want to have sex with men, women, or both? That's sexuality, then within that there are preferences (I like girls with dark hair, doesn't mean my orientation has to do with that, or that I will definitely end up with a girl with dark hair, or that I like all girls with dark hair and no blondes).

Butter leg hair is totally natural, and IMO it shouldn't make a difference if someone shaves or not when it comes to being employed, and people shouldn't be judged for their personal decisions. But there are social norms, and people who don't meet them are judged and do face issues from people who care about those things. That's why I likened them to tattoos, because people face judgement for their choices if those choices are outside social norms. I don't always shave, and when I do it's to be comfortable not because I feel like I have to (not now anyway, it was a bit different when I was at school), same with makeup, I wear it for me not to fulfil some idea of womanhood.

butter ah yes, the "they just can't get sex so they say they're asexual" argument. Again, being asexual is not about how much or little sex you choose to have.

I'm genuinely mystified. Where did I say that?

Also, are you claiming asexual people do choose to have sex? Surely they are coerced then?

lol I'd support your campaign to make leg hair a protected characteristic

Really? I think this demonstrates how shallow your position is. Does this mean that loads of people out demonstrating for this, that or the other Tumblr characteristic could just as easily be demonstrating about leg hair? Actually, I think you're on to something there, it is as trivial as that for many of them.

Butter Like, they are viewed as broken, mentally or physically ill, immature, creepy, aliens, not fully human.
Viewed as that by who though? Their boss? Don't believe it - not relevant. Their GP? Hardly. Would the GP be saying, "we need to sort out some sex for you!" Their friends? No, they're not your friends. Their enemies? Why would they know this unless they hit on you and you rejected them? Surely you would have said "no I'm not interested in you" rather than "actually I'm asexual".

So who?

Also, asexual people do face discrimination from both gay communities and straight ones :/
What discrimination do they face?
I really don't think you understand what discrimination actually is. It isn't being teased, misunderstood or even socially isolated (although those things are unpleasant).
It's having fewer life opportunities because of a particular characteristic. I just don't believe that whether or not someone's having sex has a bearing on their life opportunities.

hinged a blog post with references to journals and books? I didn't 'use' the purple/red scale, I used the kinsey scale (and find it useful for describing my own experiences) I just said that the purple-red scale exists, I didn't know it began on reddit just that it went round online news sites.

butter ah yes, the "they just can't get sex so they say they're asexual" argument. Again, being asexual is not about how much or little sex you choose to have.

Olennas I mean, from the POV of the person doing the discrimination maybe, but for the person experiencing it who doesn't view themselves as homosexual, they are being discriminated against based on their sexual orientation. Also, asexual people do face discrimination from both gay communities and straight ones :/

Butter Haha ok, you can be queer cause of your hairy legs if that's how you feel the most comfortable identifying, doesn't bother me lol I'd support your campaign to make leg hair a protected characteristic

It's a pity though that you see hairy legs as similar to adornments and mutilations like piercings and tattoos, and by extension make-up, which you allude to earlier as something you're interested in. Womanhood is not a costume though. I see hair on our bodies as something that is natural not a contrived part of a "gender identity".

Sex is hard to get anyway.

Funny enough, I tend to agree with that. Although with a caveat.

Sex is not hard to come by. But frequently, sex with someone you really want to have sex with, is.

Not for everyone, obviously. So what would my identity be?

Only want to have sex with certain types of people. The definition of which is too complicated to explain to myself, let alone anyone else?

loops?