The UK is officially an intolerant hellhole for transwomen

PS - sorry for taking your name in vain, Lass

Not at all ! I'm thoroughly enjoying this thread.


I was only referring to Red Dwarf because of my oblique reference above to Ace Rimmer.

Yes Neighbours is that bad. Do you even need to ask? It's a show for white people to feel relaxed and comfortable pretending Australia is a place full of white people.

Butter ugh I hated Red Dwarf (still do), I liked Star Gate, and Star Trek (still do). Is Neighbours that bad? I mean, I haven't watched it in years, but it was just a silly soap.

Flora I mean, it's nice to look nice, and it's nice to be told you look nice. I don't really care if people are sexually attracted to me, their sexuality has nothing to do with mine.

You should have spent your youth watching Red Dwarf instead of dross that presents suburban life with racial and cultural homogeneity, and reinforces damaging sex role stereotypes.

it also feels like you're saying you're not sexy

are you saying that asexual people object to being thought of as not sexy?

olennas they would be 'right' about their own experience, not right objectively about everyone. They'd be 'more right' about their experience than I would be though, especially if they identify differently to me.

Butter sorry...that's just how I talk, and type, and I was always more of a Neighbours girl. I spend most of the tricky academic writing on my actual academic writing, but in my free time my brain needs a rest.

PS - sorry for taking your name in vain, Lass

then they are of course right

Not necessarily... Sure, they may have a different view or explanation, which you might want to give more credibility to than someone who is not those things, but they aren't automatically right.

I'm English, for example, and I might posit that English people are all terribly repressed about sex and only want to do very vanilla missionary sex. Lass is Scottish, and one of those pretty boys of her youth may have given her plenty of evidence that my assertion is bunkum. Just because she is Scottish doesn't mean that what she says is wrong because it disagrees with me, who is English and might therefore assume some privilege in talking about English people.

Assuming that someone else is "of course" right because of some characteristic is rather dangerous

I do have to acknowledge your patience and thoughtfulness Loops.

Even if i think it's ridiculous.

But i do wish you'd stop with all the gtatuitous "likes", "lols" and question marks. You sound as if Home and Away has had a defining influence on you.

Yeh, I'm feeling pretty tired. I don't mind coming back tomorrow though, if I remember :)

Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.

Guys, it's better than 'asexy' which I get what they are trying to do with that, but it also feels like you're saying you're not sexy

Yes. "Ace" did that for me too.

Cheddar Haha that's ok, I feel a bit daft writing it sometimes but also it's quick and I'm dyslexic and tired and keep typing wrong lol I am ace tho :P well according to my friends...

I haven't made it to the end of this thread (am on p8) but my phone is about to die and I just wondered whether anyone else is reading "ace" with the original meaning and snurking a bit at sentences such as "I'm just ace, I don't know what anyone else identifies as but me, I'm ace"? (I'm not getting at loops as an asexual, it's just that without context her terminology made me howl with laughter).

butter of course it's ok to have other explanations, because I can literally only speak about my own personal experience of my asexuality. I know about other things, but if someone who actually is those things comes along and says I'm wrong, then they are of course right. If someone who isn't asexual tells me I'm wrong that's different.

assassinated My sexual orientation is not a preference, I can't choose to experience sexual attraction. I can choose to have sex without it, but I don't want to. So, the asexuality isn't a preference, but the lack of sex is.

My romantic attraction to women is not a preference, I don't have control over it, it just is. The fact I like girls with dark hair is a preference and I can control who I choose to pursue for a romantic relationship based on that preference.

Sexuality is of course a part of personality, but why does that make it less valid or worth protecting. This is all just our brains, all of us is just our brains.

It's not odd, it's incredibly dull and tedious.

This is all personality and personal preference though. Why the need for dozens of multi-part labels and an insistence on external validation, recognition, legal protection etc etc.

Have you noticed that every explanation you have, Loops, about your doctrine, is filled with caveats about how it's ok to have other explanations or definitions? Unless you're a gender critical feminist an unbeliever, in which case you're a heretic whose opinion must never be considered or validated.

Butter I've never been in a cult, cool, "we are the real 1%" (I'm joking obvs). I am having to repeat stuff over and over but I don't especially mind. I do get that if you don't experience it, and never have, then split attraction can be odd, as can the idea of never experiencing sexual attraction.

Prickly I agree, as an asexual person who doesn't have a libido or any desire to have sex at all, I have not a clue how an asexual person with libido feels...or how they view the people they have sex with when they want sex. It would be helpful to be able to ask but I don't know any ace people who satisfy their needs by having sex with other people.

assassinated Of course, but if they experience sexual attraction at all ever, then just because they choose to engage in sex without it that doesn't invalidate their orientation, or that of asexuals who don't ever experience it.

I've got to hand it to you Loops, you're a faithful cult follower. You don't deviate from the doctrine and patiently keep trying to explain the irrational.

Queen I don't think so? Desiring a lot of sex doesn't seem to be an orientation because it's expression of your attraction rather than what your attraction is. But I might be wrong