Ian Duncan-smith says unmarried men are a problem for society

I don't think as man they'd let me volunteer in a rape crisis centre

Oh believe me they would. Just self identify as a woman.

Your whole argument was about how men have it hard. You berated me for implying I didn't care. And yet you not only do nothing for women (ie you don't care) you also do pretty much nothing for men too. You just expect others to sort it out.

This lady is trying to do amazing things from a starting position of having very little power. Would a man do the same for other men? Would a man do the same for women? If this woman gets power do you think she will use it to revisit the ills she and her fellow women have been caused by the men in their country?

www.theguardian.com/global-development/2017/oct/09/the-rape-capital-of-the-world-we-women-in-democratic-republic-congo-dont-see-it-that-way

I can't have a career in politics. I can barely get a job at Tesco's.

What am I supposed to do? I have chronic ill health. I have no money.

You seem to be affronted with what you assumed to be my suggestion (which I didn't make) that I expect women to sort out my problems; and yet you expect me to sort out yours?

Sorry that should say 'how do you think women...'

So you have no intention of doing anything yourself, you just want other people to what you say? Sounds very familiar. How do you think some who didn't even have the power to vote achieved what they did?

People in power create our society. I don't have any power, and I will probably have any power until I die now. If you women do gain some power, I am all for you - however I would quite like you to do something better with it than the men have done with theirs.

Does that make my position clearer?

Of course I'm not suggesting that you have to agree with everything a woman says just because she is a woman That's not what I said at all.

I was asking because you said earlier you just worked and went home. But you don't, you also volunteer, so you have interaction with people there.

If you genuinely think there's absolutely nothing you could ever do, what do you expect women to do about anything? Are we all just helpless? Who's going to create this fair society you want so much?

No John, I will not do your thinking for you no matter how much you ask

That means you can't answer the question - because there isn't an answer to it.

yes, I do volunteer in a food bank. I don't think as man they'd let me volunteer in a rape crisis centre - and quite rightly.

Furthermore, I'm not very well and do all I can with the resources I have.

Hang on, if women are talking about their experiences of rape or sexual trauma or male violence I will listen. But no one has been talking about those things on this thread.

You can't seriously be suggesting that I have to passively agree with everything a women says for no other reason than she's a woman? Apart from anything else, that infantalises women into delicate little things who just have to be listened to and are incapable of engaging in critical debate.

I thought you volunteered in a food bank?

No John, I will not do your thinking for you no matter how much you ask. If you give a shit about women you can at least make the effort of thinking of one thing on your own. Or do you just not give a fuck?

You could listen to women and consider their experiences instead of telling them they are wrong. That would be a practical thing you could do. Little things like that are important.

When I say 'what can I do?' I genuinely mean I have no idea what sort of thing I could do to reduce rape or DM in our society other than the obvious things I have suggested. Give me an example of one thing I can do?

I would suggest that not sucking all the energy out of a thread on a feminism board and refraining from shoehorning walls of text about pet topics might be a start.

Kudos to the quality of the responses, though.

Well you could recognise that men as a class don't generally give a fuck about women they don't know (or in many cases the women they do), and stop lecturing women about how they choose to navigate an unfair patriarchal society.

Men always put their hands up.and say what can I do? When you see what women have done despite having no status, money or power, it makes men look pretty useless.

Do you challenge dodgy misogynistic comments?

OK, if someone says 'fucking ell I'm gonna get that bit of skirt drunk and have my way later' then I will lamp them or call the police. I have always challenged shit like that, and once had to prize a female friend of mine away from some piece of shit who was trying to drag her out of a club to a taxi, half passed out with her heels dragging.

However, I don't go out anymore and have little contact with other men, or anyone much. I work, I come home, I read, I watch a bit of TV, I go to bed. What am I supposed to do?

Yes that's another thing men don't think about, how much burden falls upon women not just to do all the shitwork, but have a plan and motivate others to do their fair share, a frequently fruitless and demoralising task.

Are you expecting us to tell you what to do John? Because that's our duty, to do the work for you?

You commented that what I said wasn't nice then said women don't have to be nice. So why lecture me about it?

To be honest I think women need to focus on ourselves before sorting out the world's problems.

It's not just about not being a rapist or a domestic abuser. It's about challenging attitudes. These men aren't going to listen to women. They might listen to you.