Giving up makeup

I don't wear it, even for job interviews. And I don't colour my hair (in fact I cut my own hair). I don't wear heels. I do have a collection of clingy dresses, demure skirts etc that signal femininity and I wear those when I need to. I'm realistic about this tbh. Sometimes I want to please others or I want something from them and this stuff makes a big difference. It DOES. You pay a price for not doing it. And it's never enough! Even when I was doing mega-conformance in my late teens and modelling, for heaven's sake, I was still being disapproved of for not, whatever, I don't even know, not exfoliating or dieting or eyebrow plaiting or whatever.

So it's never enough. You may as well do as you like, and conform strategically when it suits you.

I have had very very short hair most of my life and that really irks people. Still get a ton of pushback on that, though it decreases as I age. Tons of weird comments from blokes about the kind of person I am based on my hair, lots of disapproval from elderly female rellies... I have had people stop me in the street and tell me off for my hairstyle. In fact I cut my own hair because I got so much disapproval from hairdressers, the fools! God, it's only hair. I think it's ridiculous.

The headspace stuff about feeling unpretty or unworthy - I am happy to pay that price - actually I welcome the opportunity of conquering it - it makes me feel powerful. It's so trivial. But the material costs of things like lost jobs, I am not always prepared to pay that price. (I don't think this is a feminist CHOICE, putting on the wiggle dress. But understanding why someone might do that is a feminist analysis.)

Eloian, generally, no. I think the ones who wear ALOT of makeup wouldn't take the time or effort to apply it unless they enjoyed it. I wear loads, but I'm also really happy with how I look barefaced.
Ironically, I think some women who use this reasoning and yet wear a bit themselves, to make themselves feel 'passable' are more insecure. Because they don't particularly enjoy it but feel they need a light covering cause they look a bit tired or pasty without it, like you said (I think, sorry, it won't let me refer back to the thread whilst typing this out).
Now that's a bit paradoxical. If you wouldn't judge a man for looking a bit tired, then don't judge yourself, and in turn, other women (I'm using 'you' generally here).

Beadieeye - yes, I know you were responding to a particular post But this is a general discussion thread about why we wear make-up and what we think about it. I think we are all allowed to comment on opinions given in any posts! I agree that we should try not to judge women on their use of make-up (I said so upthread). You said that to you, someone wearing heavy make-up is someone who has a passion for it. So I asked if you really felt that all women who wear heavy make-up do so because they have a passion for it.

I don't judge judge, I just think, wow heavy makeup, must be insecure about their looks (and often these women look gorgeous anyway).

It makes me feel when I see them that I have to step up to a certain 'standard', though thankfully I'm lazy in the makeup department (plus I think it's way too expensive - I'd rather put money towards my pension).

I wear make-up all the time, even if only to put the bins out. I've done so since I was around 13, even to school.

I find make-up empowering, but I'm not sure why that is. I certainly feel pressured into wearing it, but I think most of that pressure comes from myself. I dislike my thin-lipped, piggy-eyed self.

I'm older, and I think older women DO become invisible and disempowered as they get older. I think that's why I cling on to my makeup-I feel less invisible with it on.

I think it may be something to do with my upbringing too. My mother once told me I could be pretty "if I tried" and that's kind of stuck with me thanks mam. Since then, I've always associated attractiveness with "trying" and making an effort.

Eolian, I was responding to a poster who said they judge women who wear heavy makeup!

Whenever I see someone with lots of make up in casual situations, I can't help but wonder how their face must look that they feel the need to paint their faces like that.

That said, I enjoy using light makeup to smooth my face. I hate how much it costs: I have a much paler skin than most of the population, and so far the only male up that doesn't make me look like a clown is Mac.

Ideally, I would like to wear daily a tinted sunscreen. Now I just have to find one that fits me...

Beadieeye, you surely don't think that all women who wear lots of make-up do it because they have a passion for it? I certainly don't think all women with heavy make-up are insecure, but I am sure many are. And not necessarily just those with heavy make-up. I said upthread- I wear make-up because I think I look psty and rubbish without it. What is that if not insecurity about my looks? I shoupd think most women wear make-up fir similar reasons, rather than a passion for it.

And yes, some men wear make-up (though none that I know), but the point is that there is no expectation that they should wear it.

Women in many workplaces are expected (even if this isn't always official) to wear high heels and 'make an effort' with their appearance on a level which is totally different from what is expected of men. Many women may actually feel they are harming their career opportunities by not conforming to the glamorous standards of their co-workers. This is blatantly unfair and sexist.

My 'real' face is my face with make-up. That's the face I want to see in the mirror. It's not about what other people think. (And hasn't everyone had that tedious boyfriend who goes 'But you look so much better without it' )

But a lot of my friends don't wear any make-up, or only when they dress up. And we don't judge each other. And it's horrible to assume a woman is INSECURE - perhaps she just loves a bit of slap.

I don't agree with judging women based on any of their choices, certainly don't equate heavy makeup with insecurity. To me, it just means that person has a love and passion for wearing it, and I admire the artistry that goes into it. It takes confidence to pull off certain looks especially when they know that other women are looking at them, forming silly judgements such as dismissing them as insecure in order to make themselves feel like they've had some big epiphany that no one else knows about.

Thanks for this thread. I experimented a little 30 odd years ago (when I was a Jackie reader!) But I quickly realised I wasn't interested, it was a chore. I don't own any now.
Anyway was beginning to feel a bit concerned about my inadequacy in case DD (12)wants advice in the future. It really helps what a pp said about football. I will see it as no different to knitting or other traditional 'women's skills' I can't teach her.

NoLoveofMine Thanks
I dont think its always as simple as just stopping. It might take a gradual process to reduce how much you wear, or when you wear it. I think you need to feel comfortable about not wearing it, and confident about being seen without it.
Its a huge issue and definitely needs talking about.

You don't notice her hairs! Her legs are long and lean and very much noticeable!

I can't help it when I do judge. Not horribly judging, just thinking insecure. Sorry.

NoLove She is 22 and has no intentions of ever shaving her legs. (They really are lovely, and you don't notice them).

I do judge women who wear a lot of makeup though. I think they are insecure. I don't see strength in a woman who wears it. It looks odd to me.

Obviously not on a night out. That's something else.

But I like a natural look. I cannot stand the over the top contouring and sharpie eyebrow look. It is comical and tragic. (like a clown).

I adore wearing make up- and can't understand why men don't wear it as well. Perhaps it's because I grew up in the era of the New Romantics and it's more about dressing up and an escape from boring normal routine.
And now I have a health condition which affects my skin so I would rather wear a thick covering than have people go 'Urrgh what's wrong with your face??'. My male friend has psioriasis and finds it totally miserable.

Eolian, I was addressing OP