Robert Webb - How to be a Boy

On WH, I wasn't that impressed with the bit about how 'the trick' means women get rubbish jobs. He probably didn't mean that to sound so damning of roles which, since they are done, presumably need doing one way or another, but it was a bit uncomfortable.

He has stated that he understands he is getting twice the praise and half the vitriol that women get for saying he same thing. I like him.

Came on to start a thread about this - it's a great book, i am listening to the audio book and really enjoying it. It's very moving and makes some great points

Web chat is a great idea. Really pleased he's done it (though of course it's what women have been saying for decades). But if it gets a message across to some men then great. I really care about my son hearing these messages from men not just his mum.

I would love to hear your report on this too.

I think it's a super book, a breakthrough for all men by a man, from a man's point of view.

Gender is rubbish, biological sex is a fact.

By which I mean if you are living a gender neutral life, you're a feminist, right?

Ohthegrandolddukeofyorkjellies

I'd love to hear what your non-binary student think. Because, to me, there is definitely something to that. They are refusing to confirm to either role. I like that.

I dislike the hint of snowflakery with which it's often accompanied, though.

Ask the non binary students whether their status extends to their actual roles in life. Not just their presentation. I'd like to see examples.

Because it's a neat trick if you can pull it off.

Yes it's important that's women's experiences and views are heard - of course it is. But I'm about halfway through the book and finding it refreshing to hear an account of being on the receiving end of the expectations of toxic masculinity. Things I knew intellectually not home more in a personal story.

If it helps men understand how gender equality would help them too then do much the better.

It's really important that men say this stuff too. Young men who see that will listen- everyone values the views of their role models.

I've read it now and as well as being really honest about not being a boy that fits into the usual boxes, and very sensitive stuff about dealing with his mum's death, it's also really really great to hear his insight into his own anger as a fallback reaction to events - as a result of being taught that men are impervious to he nuances of emotion.

He's also really good on really honestly realising what he did and how he behaved as a new parent - something so many of my friends' partners did - and certainly have no insight into.

Really enjoyable read too

Well people do listen to men more.

The reason why is definitely something that gets discussed all the time. It's the basis for feminism in the first place.

They're just calling out the sexism to be fair

Does it matter who is saying it as long as the message is being heard?

Well, it would be better if women were just listened to more in the first place, but often people on here state things like "men need to speak up more, men need to start saying these things, men need to call other men out more", and when they do, the same voices say "why does it take a man to say this?, why are people listening to him just because he's a man", etc.

I used a clip of him discussing this on bbc, when educating a young male client about toxic masculinity. Yes it's something women have been aware of and taking about for ages, but young men want to hear from other men and so it was really helpful to be able to show another male's perspective.

Does it matter who is saying it as long as the message is being heard?

DamsonGin

Oh, I missed that. Although, to be fair, I didn't know he was a feminist until now.

He did the MN live Q&A on facebook the other day but I imagine he'd be a great MNer.

Perhaps we can have Webb on for a web chat MNHQ?

To discuss his autobiography.

Ohthegrandolddukeofyorkjellies

How old are your pupils?

The explanation would be, that although gender is socially constructed, it is very real. And people, like Webb, felt the negative effects of it.

Fortunately, judging by both clips, they recognise that it is bad for men as it is for women. Transgender people want to be the opposite sex, precisely because these roles are so rigourously enforced.

Your pupils should be able to understand this. Your problem will arise, if they decide that gender is actually an internal essence that has nothing to do with roles.

But you could force yourself to remain completely neutral and say let's discuss that then. I.e. What's more likely?

Well done to you for tackling this, though.

Or maybe the best thing is to just shrug and say well I don't know about that part. And carry on with the lesson about gender stereotyping. Which is undeniable and verifiable. Let them connect the dots on their own.

That's one Xmas present sorted for my son. I know he will enjoy reading it.

This is further proof, I reckon, that Mitchell and Webb 'get it'.

Oh good - I just assumed he was another bland celeb with an even blander autobiography. I'm pleased he has something solid to say.