OK, I'm a man now. Join me?

If your OH is miffed about your newfound manliness, beyond, get some flowers there too!

I am Jesus Reyes. Godlike status CONFIRMED

BeyondLimitsAndWhatever Go to the petrol station and buy one. While you are there you should pick up some socks if my experience is anything to go by.

Humph. The cis-canine thinks I only want the nice parts of dogginess and will exert my so-called 'human privilege' to avoid the rest. Just because I wouldn't sleep in the kitchen or go out in the rain to wee or eat kibble.

Not sure where your lighter is mate but in my previous incarnation I may have said something detrimental to your manliness.
The womb is not a locating device(what a pathetic bitch ).

As a now gay man, I have no one to ask. Could one of you straight men can ask the wife for me?

I can't find my lighter, does she know where it is?

Bit disappointed no-one has become Brian from Hull yet.

September - hopefully Justine will already be Justin by now

Hello Ladies. Man here.

As a Fellow (manfully ignores PP who has already given me the idea mentioned this) I have already been a man for over a decade. I've come to helpfully give you some unsolicited advice that you are all making a good effort but I think you may be talking about it too much. Just concentrate on your own thoughts, ignore everyone else and I expect people will instantly know what you're thinking. Works for me.

Just to show you the level I am at, I am currently preparing for a nap after buying (patently wrong sized and unsuitable) school uniform, and newly gay DH is making me a cup of tea.

I think you'll agree I'm an expert.

I also used to wear a hard hat for work so I'm an expert at rearranging my bollocks in an obvious fashion (If you are a real man you will know these two things are linked).

Anyway, cheers. I'll tell all my man friends about you. Clearly this place should be called Mansnet now, I will ask my newly gay DH to remind me to email Justine to tell her. If he doesn't remind me it'll be his fault if I forget.

Bossy- Go on my son! And remember, if the cute girl (I'm assuming she is over 18 but clearly still a 'girl') fails to fall for your wit and charm she is clearly a frigid bitch or quite possibly a lesbian or both. If she orders anything expensive (even though you are not actually paying personally) and does not have sex with you it is practically fraud. If she is not impressed by your flash car and tales of all the expensive places you've been she is clearly a marxist lesbian man hater.

However, if she does have sex with you she is clearly an old slapper. If she orders anything expensive or is impressed by your fancy lifestyle then she is a money grabbing whore.

Don't forget to give a blow by blow account of any antics (real or imaginary) to the rest of the blokes at work/down the pub.

Morning, gents. Floyd Walters here.

Anyone fancy joining the Freemasons? According to the United Grand Lodge of England, Freemasonry is all about making good men better . I'm sure they would welcome our advice.

One thing's for sure, we don't need to worry about any transphobia here! They say it themselves: we treat everyone as equal and We respect the opinions of others and behave with understanding towards them.

ugle.org.uk/contact-us/interested-in-becoming-a-freemason

Norberto just identify as pope! Trans popes are popes and trans Catholics are Catholics. Only transphobes think that Zeus is not a valid Catholic deity! Bigots!

My name is Norberto, and I'm gonna be pope.
I can identify as catholic too, can't I? Who am I kidding, of course I can - I'm a man and my word is final.

As a man, I'm now off to tell that sorry wanker in engineering that he should stop whining about his missed promotion and deliver because my mangina is bigger than his!

Then I'll go for an expensive lunch with the cute girl from the client team I'd really like to fuck, which I'll put on my expense account because she's a client and I want a sexual relationship if I can manage to convince her - obviously making this client relationship management.

I am looking forward to fielding questions about how I can "have it all" - I can just look baffled and/or laugh in people's faces at the concept. That's for the ladies to worry about, not manly me.

Adolfo Shaver reporting for duty.

Yes their women brains can't handle it. And the bar staff will serve us quickly now because I will stick my arm over the bar waving my card and shouting either 'bro' or 'sweetheart' at them.

Ah yes, of course! You know what they say about all work and no play.

It's hard to being a man and fitting all these activities into one pub visit, I bet women can't manage it, that's why they don't do it.

flavia but of course. But as a working dad I now deserve lots of me time, so can we combine that with leering at people and some manly sexual harassment of other patrons?

I will be wearing a suit and talking loudly about important manly business shit into my Bluetooth headset, if I keep saying 'funding, presentation, investors on board, the wife' then everyone will know we are very important men discussing sport at a highly intellectual level.

Now I identify as a man I can't find anything in the house.Will have to ask Oh later.
Geoff what a great idea let the little ladies decide,I will get you a pint with a chaser later.

Since identifying as a man last night I am now producing sperm from my new advanced penis - so much so I'm having to wear a boxers shorts liner to mop it up today! Result!

Geoffrey - hm, how are you going to be presenting?

Geoff here- good point Errol. I will be wearing trousers and no makeup but I did that when I was a woman too.

After a good manly sleep (unfettered by womanly thoughts about getting the kids ready the next day etc) I have solved my problem about whether to tell work/friends. I will simply tell my sister and my female junior colleague and ask them to tell people if and when they think it's appropriate. That way I don't need to make a decision but have someone to blame if it turns out badly.

The solution was obvious really- all this worrying about dealing with my own crap must be a throw back to by girlie days. Now that I am an expert (after almost 10 hours of doing this) I will probably make my fortune writing books for women to tell them what they're doing wrong in their lives.

They are oppressing you with their biology

Too right. I mean, it's completely irrelevant that cis dogs have 39 pairs of chromosomes and trans dogs only have 23, mammals have all sorts of numbers of chromosomes, its like a continuum or something.

Just pissed on the seat and left a dribble on the floor. The fairies sort that out, right?

That'll do Ereshkigal. It needs to be dick shaped and huge though. Show those cismen what a proper cock looks like.