OK, I'm a man now. Join me?

God its just brilliant suddenly knowing everything all the time! Frees me up from having to actually listening to anyone. No wonder women never get anything done.

Oh, and Popchyk (Colin)
Word to the wise; I think you'll find Alan Turing way has become one way and as such can't be entered from the Post office side. It's due to folk using it as a rat run to get onto the A97.
Bit of a kick in the balls for Gary (landlord of the Nags head. Nice lad despite being a Chelsea fan)

You're right IfNot
Parenting is much more appreciated when it's done by blokes like us.

Of course, when we mind our own children it's called Babysitting and ringing our mum to come and help is ok

Alright chaps.
I always knew there was something a bit wrong..I'd be striding along minding my own business, and some geezer would yell stuff out of a van at me!?
Or I would say something in a meeting and get ignored, only to have a bloke repeat what I had said. And then ask me if I was taking the minutes (even though we both had the same job description..)
I was also starting to feel a bit, I dunno, ignored and despised now I'm not a young bit of stuff anymore. .
But now I have embraced my male identity and become Titus Manhandle all that is a thing of the past! Now I'm actually approaching the fast lane of my career and I probably should be head of department. The top brass like to see a chap in a suit at the helm. As I'm a fella they know I won't be distracted by my children and whatnot.
Although, if I skip off to go to sports day or whatever all the admin girls will think I'm super sensitive as well as an amazing dad.
Job done.

*hole

Ah you will be fine beyond. You have an extra bonus front home after all.

There are plenty of technological solutions Beyond, you don't have to be satisfied with what nature gave you. Don't let your cis tell you it's not exactly the same thing, that would be transphobic and bigoted.

Slight disadvantage with the gay-ness - DH now thinks we will now be having a particular kind of sex. I pointed out I am happy to if the other way around also works, he pointed out I am lacking certain equipment, so now I am triggered and depressed :(

LTB for flaunting his cis-man privilege?

I am Spartacus as I am a man, and only men can be gladiators wielding big 'swords' and short leather skirts that show lovely toned thighs.

I am claiming my manhood and coming out of my now transvestite, transexual closet. Dh woke up rather surprised by finding out he is indeed now gay. Still our closet is big enough for the both of us to come out 🎈🎆🎉🎊🎇

So we would like to throw a coming out party for all of those that now identify as male after being assigned female gender status at birth. No more mothers ruin but lots of 🍺 beer and testicle scratching.

NoToast

And I expect to be thanked and praised like a small child

I am going to help my newly gay DH with the cleaning this weekend (I am a new man dontcha know)

So my help will consist of going through THE drawer.... I will empty all the shitty bits all over the dining table and put them into piles - then put them back into the drawer...

Hang on lads, brilliant idea from me - if we go down to the 'spoons after golf it's curry night. Result! I won't bother telling newly gay dp I'm not coming back for dinner though, he'll only give me grief. If we make it a late one he'll be in bed when I get back anyway.

Morning lads! Thanh Wolfe here, reporting in for manly bantz before spending the day in the office mansplaining the girls' jobs to 'em. I mean, some of them have only been there 20 years, it's lucky I'm there really otherwise they wouldn't have a fucking clue what day of the week it was, amirite?

Might knock off early and get a round of golf in. Newly gay dp can sort dinner out, it'll be fine. Anyone up for a pint after?

I'm a man too. Evidence - I put the rubbish out, I never wear skirts/dresses because they make me feel uncomfortable, I cut my own hair, I change the lightbulbs, catch the spiders, put together the flat pack, and control the finances. How did I not realize it before? A woman can't do those things!!

I need a Jilly Cooper hero name. I will choose one after a manly sleep.

I wasn't joking about that cis-dog.

Oh, thats how my DD does it... hey, this is great news, I guess I have a DS, I'd been wondering what with her, I mean him, off to do an engineering degree, and the only iron she'll use is the soldering sort.

Evening lads. Julian Lloyd here, bit of a posho, can't wait to join the gentleman's clubs that obviously will benefit from my membership (ha MEMBERship, love a bit of bants with you bois).

God Christmas is going to be easy this year. I pretty much just have to make a big song and a dance about selecting a tree, put it manfully in a bucket in the house and then sit back and enjoy watching everyone else decorate it and angst about buying and wrapping presents. Not my job, I am a man! I don't have time for that kind of thing, and besides, I'm sure DH will enjoy it.

Errol!. Nah mate, you're doing it all wrong. Leave the new loo roll on top of the old loo roll in the loo roll holder.

Merill Egan here, I'm a gynaecologist with cold hands and a disconcerting way of looking past you...my patients are never sure if I've listened to a word they've said.

Jimmy you are my bruv bro, yo blud. Except we finish every Saturday night having a massive row because I support United and you support City, and we have to abuse each other endlessly about it while our gay husbands roll their eyes and do the dishes.

cafe your husband gives hope to us all. I haven't told DH yet that I am a man, it will be a lovely surprise for him. I'm really enjoying being a man and not giving a fuck what anyone thinks of me.

Make sure you leave one sheet on the loo roll, so no way would you be expected to change it. If you must get a new one, leave it on a shelf or the floor, a bit out of reach.

I'm going to improve my basic man skills.
I'm working on increasing my time on the bog to a proper manly 20 minutes, as my current 2 minutes poos are not making the grade.

Anyway, I'm off to bed. Night lads.