OK, I'm a man now. Join me?

Popped into my usual cafe for a quick flat white - it's a decent place, you can tell it's run by women as the food is great - anyway the owner happened to mention the the tap on her sink wasn't working so, despite having no plumbing experience, I came over all manly and insisted on fixing it. Three hours later I accepted a small amount of assistance from another patron, who just happened to be a plumber, and Roberts your avuncular relative!

I think I'll take a leaf of out the musician Gavin Russom's book, who came out as a trans woman recently but has no plans to change their male name.

That'll make life easier. I hate all the admin associated with name changing.

My female subordinate sent me some ideas for sign off today, they seemed all right so I repeated them all back to her. I even reached over for her notebook and drew her a little diagram and everything, just so it would all go in.

Cheeky bitch didn't give me the enthusiastic thanks I deserved for my pearls of strategy. I told her she didn't seem to be following my thinking and so I went through it all again at half speed. That's the kind of supportive boss I am.

DH has decided he wants to identify as a woman as I am now a man ( he likes symmetry).

(S)he has been through my knicker drawer and looked for some 'sexy lady pants' as he knows that will make him a lady ( he has been watching Danielle Muscato) and some nice red shoes.

He found black cotton boring practical shortie type pants and dms.....

So he has concluded I have always been a bloke and I have been conning him for 15 years.....

Is anyone else having a problem finding a sensible jacket which fits if you're 5'1" with, um, moobs? My DDS wants one for uni and darned if we can find one. 80% of the others on the same course will not be having this sort of problem.

Oh no, father of pearl, I've already arranged two play dates for the week after I come back

And all DSs sports fixtures for this season

< head in hands >

Kr1s, I like your style In order to fully embrace your position, don't forget to also hand over all that emotional labour shit that we men don't have time for, and that's obviously not important anyway. I'm thinking of stuff like remembering family birthdays, buying and sending cards, replying to invitations, making sure presents are bought for parties the DC attend - you know, that kind of trivial stuff that keeps society functioning is completely pointless and anyway very easy.

Excellent decision OLenna, you can't do a worse job than the present incumbent.

I have decided not to tell my Newly gay husband. I've just started doing manly things and hope he'll work it out himself

So I'm not doing any housework because I don't know what needs done and he hasn't told me. And anyway I won't do it to his standard.

I've not done any food shopping this week ( usually have to top up on milk, fruit, salad, fish during the week) because I'm going away on A work trip leaving on Saturday morning.

Of course when I was a woman I would have left at the crack of dawn on Monday morning and come back on Friday night, missing the dinner / drinks with everyone else. But now I'm a man I'm taking the first flight on Saturday morning so I'm not too tired for Monday and I can do some networking on Saturday and Sunday.

Of course I will put on my DM sad face when asked about it and say what a struggle it is for me to be away from the kids for so long. And people will admire my bravery and dedication to supporting my husband and children. And I'll send the kids photos of me dining in the hotel restaurant and of my 5* hotel room so they know how tough it is.

I've also not done any laundry this week because I've not run out of clothes yet and I haven't spotted the two overflowing laundry baskets. As you know, we men are not detail minded. It won't be my problem when DC discover at 8am that they have no clean school uniform.

My plan for when I return home after this trip is to take a logical masculine approach to housework . So I'll stop all food shopping, cooking, cleaning , childcare, taxi driving, child and house organising . Instead I will take the car for its MOT once a year and out the bins out ( if DH tells me which one ).

Then I will really be a man.

My newly gay DH told me I was being ridiculous sad My fists trembled and I felt my sense of self deflate sad

I bet your animation faded at a rate of knots. It's literal genocide.

Kr1s, my Newly Gay DP has sadly rejected this status, but then he remembered that there's a simple solution - to identify as a woman! Problem solved!

Kr1s - I'm setting my sights on PM, actually. It's no job for a woman after all, and I have been clipping my own wings in the past by only applying for jobs for which I am suitable, so I may as well throw my hat in the ring when the vacancy comes up, eh?

My newly gay DH told me I was being ridiculous My fists trembled and I felt my sense of self deflate

september I would love to victimise your elderly nana, I find that bullying people into agreeing I am an oppressed victim is empowering. And besides, as a real hard ass man I find abusing vulnerable women proves my masculinity, mans man and all that good stuff.

I experienced traumatic discrimination today. Couldn't find parking for ages in the town centre, until I remembered the centrally located bus station. I'd only just finished parking my car at a manly angle and walked off the required distance so I could impress the birds with my central locking, when the privileged driver of a cis bus told me that I couldn't park there, and that she didn't care if my car identified as a bus because it wasn't a real one. I felt so powerless, there she was telling me my car wasn't a real bus, and as a poor victim I felt so powerless offering my feeble defence of violent threats and a hate campaign.

OLenna - you are a genius. I vote for you to be Secretary of state for Health, where you can promote the needs and concerns of men over those of women . Oh no wait......

Can I ask you other men how your Newly Gay Husbands and Newly Straight Wives are taking this ? I trust they are celebrating your bravery in throwing off the shackles of cis hegemony.

OI OI!

Who's up for a cheeky pint?

Evening fellow chaps - Vernon Goodman here. Love my new super manly name. I do make a very good man - for example, i refuse to iron, ever. And my DM (or DF if she so chooses) tells me i cried when she made me wear a dress for my first day of school. I was oppressed from an early age! I also love my uber manly mulva, mangina and moobs. Being a rampantly heterosexual man, i'm off to bed for a hearty sex-session with these lovely body parts. Cheerio lads, see you down the pub.

Bossy don't let anyone put you off. If you identify as a father then you should definitely join kids or not. It's your right.

Bossy, ah but are you sure? Some random bird that you banged in your yoof might just have not told you and be waiting to randomly sue you for costs when they reach adulthood. You know, they're all like that, aren't they.

Best join F4J just in case.

Anyone wants to join me in Fathers 4 Justice?

I'm in but I have no kids? Then again: trans parents are parents, I suppose!

Lweji Either do that, or rub in some dirt, walk it off and wait til gangrene sets in.

I'm also bleeding quite heavily from my manly parts. And have abdominal pain. AIBU to to to A&E and take the week off?

Anyone wants to join me in Fathers 4 Justice?
I want to make sure DS's other parent pays maintenance.

Evening fellas! Sir Butch Grizzly here. I'm hoping you lads can give me some advice!

My old lady is throwing a right strop ever since I've declared my manliness to her. I've told her that from now on I expect her to do all my laundry, cooking, and ironing once she gets in from work. She's refusing on the grounds that I'm 'old enough to do it myself'! The cheek. I think she's just being transphobic. She's always treated me as a girl, I think she secretly wanted a daughter, not a son, and this is how she's showing her disappointment!

Anyway, how can I put the old cow in her rightful place?

Olenna, great point there! I hadn't thought of that. Won't it be marvellous when the stats reflect our expectations, budgets will be spent more appropriately, and the prison services will have much more meaningful data with which to plan their rehabilitation programs etc.

We are changing the world just by saying we want it, just like CIS men have done before us. I feel empowered.

I'm definitely a man:

• I earn 30% more than DP
• I have a science degree (chemistry, which is much more manly than DP's biochemistry degree)
• I already use Dr as a title (or Mr if Dr isn't an option)
• I wear flat shoes and no make-up at work
• I pay a cleaner to sort out the housework (clearly it is DP's job to instruct the cleaner - I've done the important manly paying bit)
• I just assume that the DC will sort themselves out with regards to homework, and other school stuff
• The washing up is DP's job (I move the dirty stuff into the kitchen 'cos I'm nice like that)
• I expect DP to take time off or WFH to deal with the DC's medical appointments (I'm much too important and senior to do that sort of thing)
• DP also does the food shop and the cooking and deals with packed lunches for the DC.

Now I've realised that I'm
A Man, I'll have to work out if I need to modulate my behaviour accordingly. Any suggestions?

Marquis, and how right you are, Your Lordship!

Having said that, we obviously all deserve a knighthood (at the very least!!!) for our invaluable services to masculinity and, therefore, the realm! 🎖