OK, I'm a man now. Join me?

Hello ladies, Todd Ball here.

I've decided to read important things on the internet tonight rather than load the dishwasher and sort out school clothes, as I would have done when I was assigned female. Its so liberating being able to be my authentic self at last.

I'm also going to start all of my post on MN with " as a man " or "man here " and call all other posters " ladies " .

I've just finally finished work for the day!

I'm by no means done with what I wanted to achieve today, but seeing as I'm a bloke I'm pretty sure I'll get promoted anyway:

I'm planning on letting my female colleagues pick up the slack and on taking credit for their contributions when they've delivered stellar results. I'm not even going to have to ask - as a man I was obviously the driver on this project!

If that doesn't work out fast enough, I'll take my boss to a strip club and bond with him over which of our female co-workers each of us would like to fuck. That should definitely do the trick!

I'm also advertising for a housekeeper 1st thing tomorrow. As a professional man I'm way too important to do my own dishes! Added bonus: if she's pretty maybe I'll seduce her. Everyone knows that it's physically impossible to be a sleazy creep if you're wearing a suit by Boss.

Also if my children refuse to instantly accept my drawn on moustache and the socks down my pants to enhance my new penis or call me Mummy they shall also be reported as transphobic!

I will only respond to Malcolm from now on. My woman name begins with M so my signature will stay the same, though I'd better replace my pink Bic lady biros with proper man pens.

I've been male since age 5. Told everyone then I wanted to be a boy, often introduced myself as a boy and called myself Bob. Thank fuck I'm not 5 today!! As it now means I can insist on being a man while still being very much female. If I were 5 today by the time I was a teenager I'd be sporting a penis and minus me boobs!! And have facial hair! And be forced into a stereotype and defined. No thank you! I shall be male without any of that nonsense! I have short hair, do a 'mans' job and still have me bits I was born with. Happy days

Ok I have just identified myself as male. Shortly afterwards a letter was delivered to me addressed to "Mrs" imablackstarnotapopstar!!! This is transphobic and shall be reported! I know my rights!!

Your xmas pressie is sorted TheWolfs

New ironing board for the other half.

Its a lot easier to just put empty milk bottles and beer cans back in the fridge rather than all that rinse and rinse and recycle malarky, isn't it?

I'm now called Wally Holloman and I've forgotten what bins are for.

Thank fuck...I'm never picking up my jocks again.

Lovely.

Unfortunately newly gay DH has ruined all my work trousers by ironing them on a cheep and crappy ironing board. Should I buy him a new one? I don't know, what's the manly thing to do?

mangina! Coolio. [nods appreciation]

Hello, I'm Rob and I am no longer a 'clothing technologist'.

I am now a 'Softlines Engineer'.

Much better.

Would reply properly but can't be effin' arsed.

Arfur Bloke

Lets just lower it for all sports flavia. We don't want a cis male winning male gymnastics or swimming as that would be unfair on us real men. We can't allow the constitutional genitalism of sports to limit our masculinity.

I have a head start on this, since I have been a Fellow for several years. Clearly my college see my true identity - Inigo Rodriguez, international mansplainer of mysteries.

Oi Joanne mate. Did you not see me owning Marion John Wayne style? A man's man...

Lurkedforever1 Yes, of course, we'll lower testosterone levels for men's running since the women's have been raised. That's fair isn't it?

flavia We need new sports really. Maybe a few tweaks to racing so most male jockeys are fucked? Change the male boxing weight categories so very few can enter?

I have disappeared to the loo with i pad to avoid emptying the dishwasher and will sit here until bed.
Hoping someone else does it.

I am a man, today I crocheted a shawl and made a coffee cake. I do not need to act like a man, look like a man, dress like a man or even be manly I just am a man.

The name generator gave me Gene Hunt...wheres my Audi?

I love to engage women in chat, it gives me a thrill to advise them. It is so charming when the women reply, and their chatter gives me a moment to think about what I will say next.

Now I am a man, I will presume this thread of chattering women really needs me to pop over and wow all the ladies with my sage words and manly wisdom.

I won't be needing to read the thread, obviously.

I'm going to write about how I love my curvy hubby bless him and get internet points.