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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

How 'afraid' are we of men?

202 replies

ChipsForSupper · 29/08/2017 09:17

Most of us know, either sadly through experience or through knowledge acquired by observing the world around us, that men can be threatening towards women and most of us are also brought up trained to take precautions such as not going out alone at certain times or to certain places. I was just wondering how individual women feel about this and to what degree it affects each one of us.

Personally, on the surface of it, this rarely worries me and I am happy to go on remote country walks by myself, often walk home late at night etc. This is probably because I am older now, I live in a fairly untroubled neck of the woods and I am a "what are the odds?" type person among other reasons.

However, recently, I broke down very late at night in a quiet country layby. I told the rescue people on the phone that, although I was a woman on my own, I was not a priority because I knew the area well and felt quite safe. While waiting for the breakdown truck to arrive, I even had to get out and and venture into the bushes to have a wee and felt perfectly OK about it. Then, at one point, a saw a man walking up the road in the direction of my car. I felt instantly afraid - even though I knew he probably couldn't see me as the lights were out and was more than likely an innocent soul on his way home from a night out somewhere. Nevertheless, my heart was racing and I held my breath until after he'd gone. This reaction took me by surprise and made me realise that I am affected by this general 'fear' of men.

I've often heard friends say that they are afraid of the dark, or afraid of lonely places or afraid of breaking down etc. All of this happened to me and I was fine until a man came along. What we really mean is, we are afraid of men.

Anyway, I wondered how predominant everyone else feels this fear is in their day to day lives?

OP posts:
olderandnowiser · 29/08/2017 09:25

When I was younger I was always careful about where I went and I tried not to make myself vulnerable to attack. Even now I try to be sensible about where I am and who is around me.

On the other side of the coin, I have a SIL who is sweet and gentle. He is, however, tall and strapping and likes to dress in fashionable urban clothing. He is always having to make sure that he is not walking too close to women, because he notices that they act a bit jumpy when they see him. He often has to cross over the road in order to show that he is not following women.

Flossy1978 · 29/08/2017 09:21

Nope. No fear whatsoever. But then I live in a very safe place. I don't let men rule me in this way. If my car broke down, I'd just stay in my locked car, waiting for help. Life is too short to live in fear.

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