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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Help my husband understand feminism

28 replies

yogaandwine · 26/08/2017 01:06

For some reason my perfectly decent, fair husband refuses to accept the need for feminism.

Despite the fact I have been sexually harassed at work and repeatedly refused pay rises which he has argued I should fight for on the basis of 'no gender pay gap'

Despite the fact that his father left his mother for another woman when he was 15 and he has been a staunch protector of his mother and her rights ever since

Despite the fact that he truly believes I'm the best in my field and deserve to be paid the best (even though I don't)

Despite the fact that he acknowledges prone are people it's their skills that matter.

He still reacts venomously to any feminist 'propaganda' or comments that I might make. Tonight we were watching a programme on port making and I commented that there were no women interviewed in over 1 hour of the documentary, the women shown weee just serving tea or sitting pretty and quiet at a dinner party.

My husband was so furious with these comments that he is refusing to speak to me or come to bed with me.

How do I get him to see that everyday sexism pervades people's Norms and changes the way they think?? Help!!

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 26/08/2017 01:18

Can he articulate why he is so angry about you pointing out a simple fact about what you were both watching? I don't know if you can change his behaviour about this. I know it would bother me greatly that he was so aggressively wound up about a difference of opinion, and that he views your opinions as "propaganda". It would make me reconsider if he was fair and decent tbh.

arousingcheer · 26/08/2017 01:16

Well you can't force him to believe what you believe, any more than he can force you to change your own beliefs. If he showed an interest it might be different.

It's hard to see him as fair and decent if he is reacting to your comments by being 'furious' and freezing you out. That is not reasonable adult behaviour.

MontyPants · 26/08/2017 01:12

It seems like maybe he doesn't understand what feminism is? Does he just view it as some militant movement or bra-burning fad?
It's sad that he got annoyed at your comments, but maybe he just doesn't realise how much it affects you seeing as he has not had to worry about gender inequality in his life?

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